Re-gaining Who I Am After Being Stay-at-home Mom

So you thought you could just jump right back into work, extracurricular activities, social networking, and everything else in between after being at home with a child or children?  How is everything coming along?  You feeling overwhelmed yet?  Do you find yourself having little patience with some individuals that never seemed to bother you before?  What about your work, is it better or worse since having children?  Do you even like your career as much as you did years ago? 

For some readers, you may not have reached the door yet to go anywhere to get anything done.  Well, good for you.  That's right I said, good for you.  Unlike those who jumped right into everything in a rush to get away from children (yes I said it), you still have time to consider what you want and where you want to go that will make you most content.  You have to return to work for the right reasons like personal fulfillment, not because you just got to get away from your children.

Having children speed up the aging process, and if some don't believe it, just give it some time.  The sudden ache that comes out of no where.  The strange gray hair that decorates your most intimate places pops up.  Your irritable for no apparent reason.  You notice strange wrinkles that weren't here or there before.  Now what was it again that you went into that room to get?  Oh yea, the mind isn't as sharp when it comes to remembering things like it was prior to children.  Even with aging challenges, one must fight through them all in order to regain a sense of who she is now not who she was before.

When one makes the sacrifice to stay at home with children, it is a great idea initially, but in time, the individual isn't the professional woman that she once was no matter how much she thinks she still is.  You here some say, "I still got it..." usually they speak of what they see externally, but internally they have changed.  They may not know it, but you do, Stay-at-home Mom because you just might be going through similar issues fighting for the you within You. 

You don't talk the same.  Years of relaxed speech and speaking your mind doesn't go over too well in the workplace.  You planned your own schedule and did what you wanted when you wanted.  Boss might not like your routine of napping in the middle of the day at your desk.  You may have returned phone calls when you felt like it and talked for as long as you wanted with most of your family and friends.  Socializing may not happen much on your next job.  Getting focused takes time.  You may quit a job or two or get fired until you are truly ready to get back into the swing of things.

Who are you really?  Besides being a mom, you are something, but what?  There are many titles out there, but which one can you spout out confidently?  What do others call you besides wife, sister, aunt, stepmother, etc.  You must seek out your purpose.  But how do you?  You surround yourself with things you sincerely like, not what others have recommended or what you are simply curious about.  What do you really like?  The truly successful in this world are those who honestly enjoy what they do, remember that.  Success, from a spiritual sense, is not defined by how much money you make, the home you live in, and the car you drive.

Too often stay at home moms become who everyone else wants them to be.  The husband, your mother, or a friend suggested you be at home with children maybe when you really didn't want to be or they suggested you remain at home long after your expiration date.  Then you took them up on their idea, now you aren't happy.  A stranger may have suggested you work from home, but now you don't like it--can't support your family like you really want.  Here lies the challenge, what do you have to do to get where you truly want to be while you still have a heartbeat?  You heard your babies' heartbeats and they made it, now it's time you hear your own again!

From taking classes to working for a temp agency, mothers all over the world start somewhere, it's better than being at home feeling miserable, defeated, and wondering, "Why can't I get a break?"  But even if the opportunity comes, you must be ready!  Have you been spending time observing those at various workplaces and reading the latest news about the industry of your interest?  Are you practicing professionalism again by taking the time to articulate thoughts well?  What are you doing everyday to lead you to where you truly want to be?

The more effort you put toward your goal of transitioning from Stay-at-Home Mom to Career Mom, the more you will realize whether your time is now or later.  But whatever you do, don't stop!  Keep working toward fulfilling your dreams again!

Nicholl McGuire