The Joy of Mother's Day to Those who Mean Well

Another major holiday approaches, Mother's Day, awww.  Such a beautiful day for loving, kind, precious, and thoughtful Moms.  However, it isn't the case for those who are incarcerated, toxic, crazy, and controlling.  One of the most painful things I had to do recently was listen to a story of a child who was told to do some despicable things by her mother.  High on drugs, the mother thought that telling her child to participate in a sexual act was okay.  Little did she know, her request would spread like wildfire all the way to the ears of child welfare.

I know what the retailers, family, friends, and past programming says about "Mother's Day" and it is very nice to do something for someone when you feel moved to do so, but there is nothing in the Holy Book that says it is a requirement.  Honoring comes in many ways and not just through a man-made holiday.  Some of us spent most of our lives acknowledging holidays until we got to a place where enough is enough!  How much money, time, and energy does one have to invest year after year after year...Some people have huge families with many mothers, money or time isn't always that generous.

People burden themselves with so many things including Mother's day and other holidays.  Some needy moms cry when their children don't bring them something, call or come by.  Really?  Why take things so personal?  Others threaten children or badmouth when they aren't acknowledged--you're their mom always will always will be. 

Some moms were never fit emotionally or physically to be moms yet they are hoping/wishing/waiting for some kind of pat on the back.  Weren't these the same moms who couldn't wait for their children to grow up and move away and "don't even think about bringing any grandchildren to me?" 

Yes, this holiday has many people twisted mentally even those who forget they weren't into motherhood like other mothers.  Let us all be reminded, you are called "blessed" and favored when you have the right relationship with the one who created you.  Further, you are appreciated and shown respect when you "do to others as you would have them do to you" -- Luke 6:31 (NIV). 

Seriously, some mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, spiritual mothers and any other mother really need to get over themselves, confess wrongdoing and change from their mean-spirited ways--God sees the good as well as the evil beyond a holiday.

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry

DIY Mother's Day Gifts

Mother's Day Greetings - Shed a Happy Cry This Mother's Day!

Is it Right to Make Mother's Day a Vacation Day Away from Family?

The Mother's Day holiday is like a personal day a worker takes off from his or her daily job responsibilities for many moms.  It isn't a question of right and wrong for a mother to want to be alone for Mother's Day it is simply a request.  Mom says, "I just want a day off of work." 

For some mothers, they know that if everyone comes over Mom's home--especially if she is a senior citizen, the need to advise, cook, clean, and more will kick in, so instead of feeding into those desires, she just wants peace and quiet.   Frankly, look at the many days when children and spouses could have celebrated mom during the year?  Is it so bad that Mommy doesn't want to be celebrated on a day that someone long ago said, "Make this day Mother's Day."  Maybe the family could pick another day. 

Let's keep in mind, many moms have mental and physical issues that can come during certain times of the month or are daily challenges.  You don't know what mood you are walking into when a mom is adamant about being left alone--take heed Sons and Spouses. 

Why do we assume we know what Mom is going through even if we are moms ourselves?  Why convince her that spending time with her children is best for her when we know that sometimes we are a reminder of the many sacrifices she made for us--which wasn't all good?  Let's just be honest!  Give mom a break when she says, "I'm not celebrating the holiday, but thanks for the well-wishes."

Nicholl McGuire

Be Free from Mother's Day Peer Pressure - YouTube

You are a mother now and for years some of you have not be acknowledged for your role.  Yet, every year there is a mom in your circle that expects everyone to honor her.  You may have felt angry, bitter and ready to yell at this woman for putting so much pressure on the family to celebrate "her day."  If you are a Believer, you will want to hear this audio recording.  Get free from the bondage that comes annually this time of year--Mother's Day.  Not every mother is happy about this holiday.

Be Free from Mother's Day Peer Pressure - YouTube

Mother's Day Crafts, Cards, Activities, and Worksheets

You might be interested in doing something creative with the children for Mother's Day.  So I saw this site that sparked some thoughts.  Those homemade cards are always a delight coming from the little children.  But who knows, your mom might get a kick out of your creative skills at 30 plus!

Mother's Day Crafts, Cards, Activities, and Worksheets - EnchantedLearning.com

7 Things You Must Know About your Mother -in-Law Before You Shop on Mother’s Day

One. Know your mother’s personality type. Avid readers like something related to their reading, stay-at-home mothers like sleepwear, outgoing mothers like showy things, and mothers who love money don’t want empty cards!

You don’t want the fake smile or half grin on Mother’s Day because you didn’t plan appropriately. Interview your mother as soon as you can to find out what her needs maybe. It may not be a gift that she wants but help with a project. Talk with family and friends about the hints she may be throwing their way as well. Check the history pages of her Internet use to see what has been captivating her eye lately. Look for notes around the home that she has made to herself to obtain more ideas on what she may want for Mother’s Day.

If your mother likes to go out to a restaurant on Mother’s Day, then you may want to consider how crowded it may be on that day. If your goal is to have a pleasant experience with your Mother on that day but you don’t want to fight crowds, offer to take her out on another day.

Two. Know how much you want to spend and what you intend to buy before you arrive at the store for big purchases. Don’t waste the sales clerk’s time, if you use one, knowing that your budget is only a certain amount yet you let her or him direct you to an aisle you know you can’t afford anything there! Why put yourself in a position that will make you feel disappointed later? Rather, conduct research before you visit the store on what you are looking for and do remember to print out the item and the price that it is being sold for on the Internet. This simple act will save you money and time in the store.

Three. Know what place she loves to shop and avoid it! Very often if it is her favorite store she has bought many things in the store already, so you run the risk of buying an item she already may have. This is where gift cards come in handy, because this way she can enjoy a nice shopping spree in her favorite store! However, don’t select gift cards to places you know she wouldn’t ordinarily visit.

Four. Know that your mother may react more over someone else’s gift. Sometimes this happens; you spend all day trying to find the perfect gift for your mother on a limited budget then along comes your sibling, a friend or neighbor blowing your mother’s socks off! It may be hard to contain your jealousy, but consider the following: you have more money in your pocket when it is all said and done then he or she, Mother’s Day happens only once a year, and what is the likelihood that it just may sit on the shelf collecting dust by next year?

Five. Know what she already has. You can save yourself a headache by simply walking through her house and looking at all the items she has received over the years. Think about what she is using and what she isn’t. When you are trying to determine what to buy always remember to remove yourself out the equation. What you might think is right for her maybe so wrong! Save yourself the embarrassment on Mother’s Day, be a detective!

Six. Know what your siblings are going to buy her. This may be helpful if they are willing to give you some insight. However, some siblings are secretive with what they are buying mother because they don’t want to be outdone.

Seven. Know when you plan on visiting her. Let’s face it not everyone has the greatest relationship with their mother as well as the rest of the family, so try to pick a time during the day that has the least amount of traffic coming to the home. You may want to drop off your gift to her the day before, the day after or send it in the mail; however, whatever you choose to do, try to use your gift as a peacemaker. In other words, don’t give her a gift just because; instead, be sincere and write a note that speaks from your heart without being grammatically correct or mechanical like some of the writings in greeting cards. Write the way you talk, a mother who truly appreciates and loves her children will embrace your effort wholeheartedly! However, if she doesn’t seem to care what you have done for her reduce your gift-giving down to a simple phone call each year. You are still honoring her without subjecting yourself to abuse.

They Told Me I Didn't Know What I was Talking About, But Now I Do

When I wasn't a mother I had my opinions just like everyone else (who never raised children,) they told me I didn't know what I was talking about, but then my turn came and oh how enlightened I had become!

Being a mother of four, I can tell you it is no walk in the park! It is easy to write a book, make a video and do other things to encourage others, but when you live motherhood each and every day (without daycare or family) it is grueling!

People will tell you, "I understand." No you don't. You really can't comprehend the hormonal changes, the strong willed, hypersensitive, active group I got! However, to help some understand just how challenging motherhood can be, I suggest you offer your time, money and any other assistance you can give when you see a mother has her back up against the wall! I recall a few scenes as I write where strangers helped me open doors for my children seated in a double stroller, another scene where someone dropped money in my hand and told me to buy the children something with it, and plenty of scenes where people prayed for me! These are blessings in disguise when you least expect it!

Mothers don't just scream just to be screaming about issues in the household, over the phone, via email, or at the workplace, they have real aches inside their minds, bodies and spirits! Something or someone on the outside contributed to her woes, no matter how much we reason by saying, "She should have, could have..." She is crying for various reasons some that are easily understood and others more challenging. How dare anyone assume that because she cooks, cleans, cares for the baby, runs errands and does other duties that she is happy? Just because someone goes to work everyday, doesn't make them content? There are many women that no matter what you buy or do for them, it isn't going to resolve the issues that she repeatedly her family to do.

The best Mother's Day is the one that she doesn't have to worry over the following: getting bills paid, a table being a mess, the floor being sticky, closets not being organized, looking for someone to watch her children, relatives' criticisms, a partner's weak reactions to temptations, childrens' temper tantrums, and friends' petty attitudes about her not calling them. These are just some of the many examples of the worries she rather not have! Mothers everywhere are looking for the gifts that don't come in small or large packages, but the ones that come from the heart! So if she turns up her nose about the gift you gave her or act ungrateful, it is because she is expecting more from you, the kind of things that can't be wrapped up in a bow!

If she is a spiritual mother, she is looking for the gifts that only God can fulfill, the ones that He uses people to create. The kind of gifts that result from an understanding from those who she loves. Those are the real gifts! Those are the true gifts!

May God bless you and yours this Mother's Day,

Nicholl McGuire

Mother Thinks She Knows Best...

There will be those times when mother and daughter will disagree. You will say something happened one way, she will insist that it happened the other way. When times like these occur it makes you wish you had a "do over" button. You start to have a headache or stomachache, because mother wants to insist that she knows best when sometimes she doesn't have a clue!

I think sometimes mothers tend to think they know more then their adult children because they watched a show on television or read a magazine, but as we all know there is nothing like experience! It's easy to sit back and fantasize from a seat in your livingroom, but it is a whole different story when you are actually in the line of fire. I personally feel not just mothers, but anyone who hasn't "been there and done that" should keep quiet! I also feel because one has "been there and done that" doesn't mean that everyone will feel the same way about their experience. For example, I have heard some mothers talk about the joy of caring for their newborn and I have also heard other mothers talk about the struggles of caring for their newborn. I personally don't think that one should assume, because a mother has a newborn she is supposed to feel a certain way.

Anyway, back to the issue about mother and daughter relationships. Some mothers need to do more listening and less talking. They assume because they have "seen the movie" they know alot. When in reality, if they were put in a similar crisis they may not handle it in the way that they may be advising their daughter to handle it. That is why it is so important to be your own woman -- make your own life decisions without advice from mom. God has given us all common sense, wisdom, eyes to read, and ears to hear, it's up to us to find solutions to our problems by ourselves that way if anything goes wrong we can only blame us.

I personally enjoy finding answers to my own dilemmas without my mother or grandmother's input because what I don't want to hear later is, "I told you..."

You see, the "I told you" comments have become a huge turnoff for me. What they tell me is "Aha I'm right your wrong." Sometimes it isn't an issue of right and wrong, but they will make it seem that way. When you are having a conversation with someone and they just so happen to guess correctly about a problem you are having, it doesn't mean that for now on they should be the go to person! I think some people would love to be the one in your life who you would one day say, "If it wasn't for...I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing!" I have learned, for me, it isn't about people anymore and what they say or do, but it's about what God motivates them to do in my life. Because if it wasn't for GOD I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing.

I noticed if the advice a mother gives to her daughter before something happens in her life isn't very clear, wise, or beneficial, once the negative event occurs, the mother will try to change the details of her advice to fit her daughter's situation so that it looks as if she had warned her all along. However, the truth is she never provided enough detail about a situation and often flip- flopped (just like her daughter) in what she was saying prior to the event occuring. Now the mother wants to take credit for something she has no business taking credit for! If her daughter remembers that someone else had helped her through a situation and gives that advisor credit, her mother will quickly say, "But I told you the same thing..." Not necessarily, dear ole' mom, maybe that advisor was more clear, direct or said something entirely different to your daughter. Either way, mother doesn't always know best.

When we begin to see that our mothers are trying to dominate our lives or take credit for things they didn't do, we can do a few things: stop telling so much about our lives to them, avoid seeking their advice, and don't allow them to get the upper hand on our lives by giving them more praise than God.

Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

Mother's Day Shopping: 7 Things You Must Know About Your Mother
Tired of your mother's half-hearted reaction to your gifts? Clueless as to what she needs or wants? Before you go out to a store looking for a trinket on sale, do your research first!
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1652492/mothers_day_shopping_7_things_you_must.html

Happy Mother's Day

With Mother's Day fast approaching, I can't help but think of those people who have no mother. Whether she passed away or is simply not around, they will have to listen or be around people who do talk about their mother.

What does that feel like anyway? Listening to someone who wants to make you feel better about your grief while they complain about their mother and children in front of you. I guess some people feel like it will somehow make you think of all the negative times you had with your own mother.

For almost three years I hadn't seen my mother in person due to a relocation, I know some people's situations were much worse, but I am not looking to make a competition of pain. For me, it hurt at times thinking that some of the best moments of my life my mother would miss. I mean if she had been deceased or disabled, I could understand, but she wasn't neither of these things, and I just wanted her to be around some times to see the grandchildren and talk about anything. However, she didn't want to ride the plane and she left me hoping that one day she might. Many Mother's Days over the years came and went being 3000 miles away from home, and two hours away from two of my children, sometimes I got a card in the mail from someone, sometimes I didn't. One year I made the effort to see my children on Mother's Day and was so glad I did, another year I made the effort to see my mother and grandmother for Mother's Day so glad that I did that too! But if I thought that the favor would be returned, that was wishful thinking on my part. I learned that a good Mother's Day is the one that you create, not necessarily the one that is created for you. I guess this concept would make sense for some. Think of a pregnancy and how what is going on inside of the womb is a creation - a small being- that is growing inside of us! Sometimes we need to ask the powers that be, God, Jesus or whoever you may call your deity, "What idea, action, or dream will you impregnate within me for the next day, month, or years? How can I take this day that man has appointed to me and make it into something special?"

I had wished that I could be with my children sometimes for Mother's Day and other times I wish that literally it was "a mother's day" a day to get away from the diapers, whines, and cries. I guess the point of this blog entry is to remind you to have a Happy Mother's Day whether you are a mother, have no mother, or wish to be a mother and most of all make it your own creation even when others don't acknowledge it!

Happy Mother's Day!