Back to School Frustrations

School Year Blues - Don't Worry, Pick Your Battles

The school year is just too long to be worried about the little things.  We jump to conclusions sometimes when teachers talk to our children about their faults.  We assume the worst if they should participate in an activity or accept an invite that is out the norm.  We are parents with stresses that are sometimes induced because we don't know what else to do or think.  When situations are beyond our control, it is very tempting to lose control, but don't!

With four sons, I have learned that everything they say and do or what is said or done to them doesn't need my involvement.  Some things they have to solve for themselves especially homework.  I sometimes think, "If I wasn't around, what would they do?"  Check the Internet, call a friend, ask a relative, etc. 

Challenges make our children stronger, but sometimes we want to shield them from the pain only to cause ourselves blues.  Meanwhile, they look at us like, "What is so serious...Why is mom acting like that...I thought she taught us to..."  We can easily lose our children's respect and trust when we are over-the-top about every little thing.  Instead, they start to think we are crazy.  In time, they begin to distance themselves from crae- crae (slang term means crazy).

So with the start of a new school year, you might as well be prepared for the highs and lows and take them all in stride.  Even if the worst possible scenario does take place (but we pray it doesn't) at least we know that our children are survivors!  They will overcome! We did!

Pick your battles, my sisters, because if you don't you just might not be around to help your children by the time they graduate college.  Think about it.

Nicholl McGuire

Mom Crying On Son's First Day Of School

7 Things to Do with and for Children Before School Starts

It is never too early to consider what needs to be done concerning the children before they go back to school.  With budgets being limited, time and patience being few and far in between, a mother has to exercise those time management skills and also be somewhat of a prophetess.  Future predictions include:


1.  Your children will forget some of the important information they learned/struggled with in certain subjects and will need a refresher; otherwise, those headaches helping with homework will return.  Make time to pull out some worksheets (at least once a week) and get those minds going again.


2.  They will have outgrown many of their things.  Is there a budget in place to ensure that their back to school wardrobe is suitable?


3.  They most likely will not be able to tend to everything you want them to during the summer which will roll over into the school year.  Tackle the "To Do" lists that you both have.  Did your son/daughter get to do the main things that they wanted this summer?  Have you got them to help you with your chore list?


4.  Health issues that you put off concerning children will not go away and will only get worse.  Cut the chronic problems off as soon as possible.  Do you really want them to miss school and cause you to miss some work days too over issues that should have long ago been addressed?


5.  Have children visited with the people they really wanted to this summer?  Sometimes relatives/friends can be a big help, so why not make arrangements for the kids to see them.  Don't let an entire summer pass by and they don't get to see the people who mean so much to them (even if you don't care for those folks).


6.  Converse with older and younger ones about all sorts of things.  From how they dealt with past school challenges to what their plans might be for next summer.  It is better to outline goals now and work toward them, then be faced with issues throughout the year that could have been handled before school started.


7.  Put money aside for needed school supplies.  There are those that the stores put out and then there are supplies that accompany teacher's lesson plans.  Don't spend money buying a bunch of things now that may not be needed.  Focus on the essentials and if you can talk with someone who is familiar with the teacher or grade level, then do so and plan accordingly.


Hope this list helps someone out there.  The less you have to deal with prior to the school bell ringing, the better.


Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry

Are You Overscheduling Your Kids?

Watch Your Child's School Work

How much math homework, spelling and reading is really being given out?  Sometimes moms are so busy tending to household duties and workplace issues that they don't pay attention to what their children are being taught in school.

Homework has never been anyone's favorite thing to do, but it is necessary to help you keep up with what your child knows or doesn't know.

I noticed that my son had more worksheets that dealt with reading and spelling and less assignments that were math related.  Other parents must have noticed too, because finally, after months of being in school, the teacher decided to devote one week exclusively to math homework--will see how long this will last.

If you start to see that your child is consistently bringing home bad grades, you may want to find out what his or her behavior is like in the classroom, how close your son or daughter is seated near the teacher, the Smart Board (a new device wired to the Internet designed to aid teachers with their classroom instruction) or chalk board.  Also, listen for names that often come up when your child is explaining a story.  Sometimes there are those children that are causing problems in the classroom and the teacher has yet to get a handle on them.  You may also want to consider what changes have occurred in your own household that is affecting your child's grades.

When we don't pay attention to what is or isn't coming home from school and how might our child be negatively impacted, we do our children a disservice!  We assume that they are learning, growing, and doing their very best in school when that may not be the case.

Also, watch those notes that don't request your feedback, but give you an option to opt your child out of some event, teaching, etc.  It is very easy for a teacher to come back later and say, "Well we wouldn't have introduced that subject matter to your child had you responded to the notice that you received." 

Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog for new parents who simply want the basics when raising young as well as older children, stop by: Parents, Babies, Children for families who have babies, children and tweens.