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How to Help Kids Understand Their Emotions

Many people experience a range of emotions throughout their day. For children, understanding and identifying their feelings is an important skill to learn. It can help them solve problems, make decisions, and stay healthy.

Kids are often eager to share what they do at school or show off new toys when they get home from school. Sharing more about how they feel may be difficult for kids because it is often considered unimportant or not discussed in the family. Parents must show their children that emotions are an essential part of life. Kids need to know that sharing feelings is a good thing and will help them have better relationships with family and friends.

1. Question kids about their feelings. Ask them how they feel about their day when they come home from school. Ask them what new things they learned at school or ask how their favorite teacher was at school that day. It is an excellent time to ask how things are going with friends.

2. Learn to understand your own emotions and recognize your feelings for what they are, even if you don't show them all the time. Kids learn from watching and listening to you more than they do from what you say to them directly. If they see you smiling when you are happy, they will associate a smile with happiness. If you are stressed, angry, or sad, your child will recognize these emotions too. Please help them by being aware of your moods and emotions and show them how to deal with their feelings in the best ways possible.

3. Ask your kids how they feel about recent events or changes in the family, such as moving to a new home. Kids want to be asked how they think about things and want to share their feelings with you.

4. Listen to your child's feelings and talk to them about them. They will open up more if they know you are interested.

5. Don't force your child to tell you how they feel by insisting that they tell you something when they don't want to share their feelings with you or when it seems too hard for them.

6. Show your child how you deal with negative feelings by talking about them and figuring out ways to solve problems. Kids learn from watching you and may use what they see in their own lives.

7. Allow your kids to say the words "I don't know" when they are confused or don't know how they feel about something that is happening or how to deal with a problem.

8. Understand that sometimes kids will be angry or sad or scared, but not show it directly. It means that they aren't showing you their feelings because it is difficult or uncomfortable for them to feel, so expect this.

9. Help kids learn how to recognize that they are in charge of how they feel and what they do. Kids need to understand that they can make a difference in their emotions and actions by being aware of what is going on inside them. It will help them manage their feelings and stay focused during challenging times or feeling anger, sadness, or fear.

10. Encourage kids to feel all of their emotions, but don't let them get so overwhelmed by their feelings that they can't stop, say, or act on them.

11. Know that your children will share how they feel with you at different times in their lives. It's essential to be a good listener during those times and help them when they need it.

12. Show kids that they can work through their feelings by taking action as needed and talking about what happens after the situation is over. Here are more ideas to help your child healthily understand their emotions:

Why Is It Essential to Help Your Kids Understand Their Emotions?

A healthy understanding of emotions is necessary for kids to develop healthy relationships with other children and adults. If they know that it's okay to talk about their feelings and that others are willing to listen, they will find ways to work through their senses.

If your child is upset every time something happens, he or she may be feeling insecure. Help children learn how to better manage their emotions by teaching them how to make a plan when they feel sad or angry and modeling what they should do after the situation is over. How can you help kids understand their emotions? Please share your thoughts with us!

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10 Gift Ideas You Might Have Forgot About to Amuse Children and Grandchildren!

You have these items lying around, in the attic or basement, cheap things that you might find children wouldn't care for, but you would be surprised. It doesn't matter how old or young, these time-tested toys, keepsakes and all-around cheap goods will often win some attention from busy-body children who need to do anything but sit in front of screens all day.  

Although not exciting or trendy to us adults, you stick these cheap goods in a child's hands and they will amuse themselves!  Avoid putting the typical video games in their hands when possible especially very young children (less than 6 years), we already know what the older ones do, they sit and sit and sit for hours in front of screens (smh).

1)  Old stuff.  Crack open that old album and your children or grandchildren are sure to laugh.  Take it one step further and create a photobook for them.  Pop in an old VHS or DVD of family events and someone might be more grateful for all the people and stuff they have in their lives.  Go the extra mile and give them their own copy on a portable drive.  Yes, entertaining children with your old stuff will keep them busy for at least a little while.  Encourage them to ask questions.

2)  Balls.  You have anything that is bright, colorful, bounces or rolls and you can get a group of children outdoors.  This includes bubbles!  Do your research and find websites that have all sorts of toys that take their fun to the next level!

3)  Things with movable parts and makes sounds.  Whether it is something that came off a broken item or a state of the art toy that just came out this year, if it can be opened, turned, pressed, or broken down--it's a winner!

4)  Tools.  Handy with tools?  A child is sure to follow in your footsteps with at least a few handy skills.  Start off with toy tools and when they are older begin to introduce them to useful household tools where they can actually build or fix something.

5) Plastic Organizers (includes folders, albums, and display cases).  From the large container a baby just pats on to an organizer that a young girl can keep her play stuff in, all children want something in those hands that makes them feel good!  Teach them how to organize their treasured items, display them and protect them. 

6)  Toys with wheels.  Whether they ride on them, push them, or control them with a remote--they are fun!  Wheeled items will get some children outdoors!  Why not get one for yourself too,  check out these adult stunt scooters!

7) Toys they can build stuff.  Legos, soft plush and wood blocks haven't been around this long for nothing!  They know what our thinkers like!

8) Art.  You know what pleasure you had when you finally created something worth keeping!  They can draw, paint, cut, twist, glue, create...whatever comes to mind they will come up with something.

9) Cards.  Whether these are cards for collecting, playing, stacking, or viewing...there is something about the shape of the rectangle that draws people in.

10) Playsets.  Remember the magic of having a great playset!  Your imagination went wild saving the Barbie from one of the wild animals, bouncing a wrestler off the top rope, or a superhero who finds his way back to the bat cave---yep, creatives, thinkers, and smart kids love good opportunities to learn with great stuff!

When you start shopping for items, be sure to use the tips in this guide for great savings.  I wrote this to help people find deals on year round.  Black Friday Cyber Monday Strategies to Use Year Round

Nicholl McGuire blog owner and contributor

  

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Motherhood Through the Years

The Children You Guard Yourself Around

Mother You Aren't Getting Any Younger So Be Wise with Your Finances

Photo by Samuel Meléndez on Unsplash

If there is anything that I am learning as I age is I can't be all things to my four sons and I simply can't afford to be so!  Over the years, I observed the fathers in the family and how they dealt with financial matters versus how the mothers did.  What I saw were men who didn't invest their money into things like for instance, family event planning; rather, they financially planned (investments, stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, worked gigs, etc.).  

The fathers didn't have no problem leaving it up to women to do things with the money they earned to: back-to-school shop, household shop, grocery shop, holiday shop, clothes and shoe shop, mall shop, vacation plan, etc.  Meanwhile, the basic essentials were handled (rent or mortgage, lights, gas, car insurance...) However, depending on how much money the women obtained, they were expected to help with those things too!  After a day of work, the men found a place to sit down and put their feet up!  The women continued to work: help with homework, clean, cook, wash clothes, shuttle them off to activities, discipline children, get them to bed, and many of you know the rest, because you are doing it now! 

Growing up, I saw those disappointed mothers who simply worked too hard for their money, for love, for approval, for whatever they hoped to gain from many challenged relationships!  They were up early and went to bed late at night not at peace, hoping, wishing and praying for easier days with less stress and financial mess!  There was never enough money on their end and I know some moms secretly resented the actions of their "cheap" partners who made far more than they did and were less generous too!  I didn't like how some of these fathers acted like tightwads either, but I also realized that spending up your last money, no matter who or what it is for, is damn foolish too!

I started looking around my own home, the children's closets, my closet, cabinets, under the bed and so on.  I made up in my mind over the years that once I met most needs of the household that certain spending categories were going to be cut significantly while others were no longer going to exist!  I met household needs over and over and over again from wash cloths to bedding and from school related things to outings!  But there comes a point, especially when children are old enough to do for themselves like cook what we already have in the freezer rather than expect parents or older siblings to buy food from restaurants, when what they claim they "need" is really not a need but a want and it won't be met!  It doesn't make me a bad mom for saying, "No" to this or that, it makes me a smart mom!

I have saved hundreds of dollars in saying "no" to holiday event planning and no to vacation planning and no to gift-buying "just because," but in recent years (before COVID) I started feeling a bit sentimental and nostalgic about things I had experienced while listening to people (who mean well), but also were guilty of spending far more money than they were bringing in to vacation plan, holiday plan, etc.  I thought, "After you spent all that money, now what?  You post photos on Facebook?  But would you post a picture of all the debt you are in trying to be everything to everyone?"

After spending hours going over all the spending categories on New Year's day, my head started to hurt.  I thought, "I am going to re-evaluate so-called 'needs' and think in terms of my getting older and what those needs are going to look like!"

You see, when you get older, adult sons and daughters don't meet your every need!  You are blessed if you get a call or text with a "Happy New Year" or "Happy Birthday! or Happy Mother's Day!" or an occasional gift that was useful or maybe not--lol!  I have four sons. Two of them, who are now 20 and 21, are out of the house.  Some of you who have been reading for years, you told me, "...wait until they get older" they changed and so did things change!  They aren't cute little boys anymore saying, "I help you Mommy!"  They are grown men who are saving money for the things they are going to want to buy or do later.  

As much as we would like to think that everything we are investing in young people will reap rewards later, that isn't necessarily true.  Instead, you might one day get, "You only did what you were supposed to do Mother!  What do you expect from me?  I have a partner, my own children...I have dreams, goals..."  So all that spending dear Mom, trying to put smiles on children's faces, while saving your husband lots of money, does what later on?  Well, I recall what I observed one day while riding the bus into work, I saw senior citizens standing in Food Bank lines (and that was years before COVID 19).  What I witnessed were seniors with expressions like the woman above.  What I heard from other seniors were their being "tired, so tired of working!"

When I see how my elders are reaping the consequences of much spending over the years, I realize that as much as I love my children, I also understand why I have to put them in God's hands and leave them there!  I can't do everything for any of them and I'm not going to break my bank or my back trying to!  I appreciate their gratitude, "Thanks Mom!" but that doesn't pay bills.

So here's to a happy financial new years for us all!  Cut back on the spending and start saving more!  

Nicholl McGuire blog owner and contributor and the author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.