Mother Blessed and Cursed All Six of Her Children

I asked her quite boldly one day, "Why is it that you prayed so much in your younger years and attended church when your children were small and then when they became adults none of them did much in their lives but cause you pain?" She said she was trying to figure that out herself. A mother nearing 90 years old and she couldn't fathom why her prayers made no impact on her children! When I pressed her for a possible reason, she blamed the people who they chose to socialize with over the years negatively influencing them -- I recalled other mothers like her saying the same thing, "My kids act this way because of their no good friends!" Well, I have never been one to just sit back, accept an answer, or act ignorant right along with people, so I did a little research and interviewed a couple of her misguided adult children not caring if they went back and told her what we had talked about.

It seems that this mother who blessed her children with the same mouth cursed them too, according to her children! She used words that "d*mned" her children "to hell," and if they stepped out of line with their mouthes, they were told they "would eat soup." She didn't hesitate to call them simple, fool, heifer, or any word that degraded who they were as human beings. The children went on to say she was often mean and that her mood swings may have been due to being abused by their father and going through menopause. She was in an unhappy marriage and as the children added, "She lived her life through us." They also shared that as children they heard her husband tell her, "You love the children more than me!" He too cursed them as well and worse beat them with a belt while she beat them with whatever she could find! Between all the cursing, fighting, and church going, I couldn't help but understand why the mother and father's children grew up to curse their own children, fight with their mates physically, divorce, cheat, lie, spend some time in jail, etc. and didn't have no interest in spirituality despite her taking them to church and joining support groups.

When I personally prayed about the cursing that can easily come from lips who say they "love their children" and asked God to keep me from saying such things as well and to use my speech to bless my own children, I heard him tell me in the spirit, "You can't bless and curse your children from the same mouth. The curse will override the blessing especially if your children do not accept Jesus as adults." It made sense, if she had spoke positively over them, it wouldn't have kept them out of all trouble, but it would have given them a self-love rather than a self-hate irregardless of whatever obstacle they faced.

I must admit my mother spoke more positive over my life than she ever spoke negative and I suppose that is why I rebound as fast as I do out of bad situations. The spirit within me that I accepted as my personal Saviour in 1997 has sustained me through all my trials. Now I know there are those reading this that don't acknowledge anything remotely close to God, Allah, Jehovah or any other spiritual entity and that is okay for you, but it's not okay for me. Will I tell you that you are a fool, stupid, crazy, for not believing, I bet you thought I would but no because to do that I would be cursing you, now wouldn't I? God has that kind of power. But how many times do people say those kinds of things to their children because the children disagree with what they are telling them even if it is correct information?

Back to the mother who spent many years cursing her children who are now 50 plus, to this day if they don't do what she asks, she will "cuss them out." Meanwhile, if they are ill or sad about something she will pray for them and ask others to do the same. One of her children approached her with a concern similar to the subject matter in this article and to that she said, "I don't know how I have hurt you?" Her child provided examples and she still acted as if she didn't know what she was talking about and at times blatantly denied things she said and did that hurt her child. Some people no matter what evidence is in front of them they will not acknowledge that they are wrong.

So what should we all take from this article, we should remind ourselves that when our children "get on that last nerve" as one woman told me her children do to her, let us have self-control over our mouths and thoughts. If we think our child is simple, fool, stupid, crazy, or some other negative word then most likely the child will feel our anger and act in a way that will enrage us later. However, what if we said, "I don't like what you did and people who act like that are viewed as being fools, simple, crazy, etc." The child can easily see what we are saying without walking away feeling like we have insulted him or her personally. We must also put people in their place when they say, "Your child is going to grow up and give you heartache...your son is acting like a fool now I can only imagine how he will be when he is older...you better watch out your daughter is going to end up pregnant young..." Although these people think that what they are saying is okay, it isn't. They should be rebuked for saying these things, I personally told a woman the other day, "My child will not be what you say. He will be victorious. He will have a good family and job. He will do great things in life..." As I went on for almost a minute, it shut her up. I didn't care if she thought I was "one of those kind of parents" who glorified my children. The truth was I was combating against her curses and declaring blessings on my son. Whatever your strategy is to keep negative statements off your children, do it! It will make a difference in their lives!

Nicholl McGuire
http://gamesactivities.blogspot.com/

Note: Some details in this blog were changed to protect the woman and her children's identities and names were left out on purpose.

Saying Goodbye to Our Children

THE LORD GIVES AND THE LORD TAKES AWAY...

She said goodbye to two sons -- one taken away by a bullet another taken away by a knife. She told other sons goodbye when they went off to war and went off to jail, she is my grandmother.

She said goodbye to a little baby girl who was born in this world stillborn, years later she would bury two more children out of twelve, she was my father's mother.

She said goodbye to her daughter who went off to college, relocated to two states with her grandchildren in tote, and almost said goodbye to her in sickness, she is my mother.

She said goodbye after a three hour conversation about her life such as obstacles she had to face as a mother of four and being a teenage mother at age 14, it was her last phone call to me before she died, she would have been my mother-in-law.

She said goodbye to her four children after two failed relationships. The first set of sons she had to let go of due to divorce. The court said it was in the best interest of the children to be with their father. The second set she had to say goodbye, because their father didn't have the strength to undergo difficult circumstances due to her health, all four sons three thousand miles away, she was me.

The examples you have just read are true stories of women who have had to undergo enormous stress, insourmountable odds, and much more to say, "Goodbye" to their children. From letting go of their children in death to finding the strength to walk away when you rather fight! What grief, pain, anger, envy, and bitterness a mother experiences! However, through it all a mother can still see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Although, she never gets over saying goodbye completely, she finds a way to keep on living despite her circumstances. She may turn to her faith, family, work more intensely at her job, create a foundation in rememberance of her child, or do something else to bless her with a sense of sanity and peace. Yet, there are mothers who have lost their faith, distance themselves from family and friends, and all but disappeared from society. They are not ready to move on, get over or anything else, because for them they feel they are leaving their babies behind. Even though this isn't correct thinking, and comes from a dark place of despair, this is how she feels and she doesn't want to hear you or I talking about trusting in God. As far as she is concerned, she isn't interested in God anymore! How could a God who loves her take the very thing away from her that made her so happy? This mother is miffed with God.

How do we reach out to our sisters who feel this way? We can start by listening. As women we always have so much to say, we are quick to share our experiences, but we don't consider what she must be going through. We fail to put ourselves in her shoes. If you recall, you weren't ready to embrace every positive thing or statement that came your way. You just wanted to be left alone to gather your thoughts to make some sense of something that at times has no comprehensible explanation. If you are worried about her, go into your closet and pray for her. If she opens up to you, sit back and listen. If you are aware of the things that might make her smile, get them for her. Remove your feelings out of the picture and concentrate on hers. She will at times love you, other times hate you and may offend you. But you are no friend, if you can't stick by her side when she needs you most!

To those mothers who are in similar situations as the ones described above, remember the good times and surround yourself with people and places that will keep you up! As I write I am in grief myself, but I appreciate the good, the bad and the ugly memories of my children, and at times I can't help but laugh! I laugh because I know that if they were in my presence I wouldn't do a d*mn thing different! They would say or do something to send me crazy and I would most likely yell, threaten, or put someone down on their bottom! They would do something sweet and I would most likely put my arms around them and kiss their faces! Find the good in every situation and remember those like yourself when you feel strong again...they need you too!