Mother Blessed and Cursed All Six of Her Children

I asked her quite boldly one day, "Why is it that you prayed so much in your younger years and attended church when your children were small and then when they became adults none of them did much in their lives but cause you pain?" She said she was trying to figure that out herself. A mother nearing 90 years old and she couldn't fathom why her prayers made no impact on her children! When I pressed her for a possible reason, she blamed the people who they chose to socialize with over the years negatively influencing them -- I recalled other mothers like her saying the same thing, "My kids act this way because of their no good friends!" Well, I have never been one to just sit back, accept an answer, or act ignorant right along with people, so I did a little research and interviewed a couple of her misguided adult children not caring if they went back and told her what we had talked about.

It seems that this mother who blessed her children with the same mouth cursed them too, according to her children! She used words that "d*mned" her children "to hell," and if they stepped out of line with their mouthes, they were told they "would eat soup." She didn't hesitate to call them simple, fool, heifer, or any word that degraded who they were as human beings. The children went on to say she was often mean and that her mood swings may have been due to being abused by their father and going through menopause. She was in an unhappy marriage and as the children added, "She lived her life through us." They also shared that as children they heard her husband tell her, "You love the children more than me!" He too cursed them as well and worse beat them with a belt while she beat them with whatever she could find! Between all the cursing, fighting, and church going, I couldn't help but understand why the mother and father's children grew up to curse their own children, fight with their mates physically, divorce, cheat, lie, spend some time in jail, etc. and didn't have no interest in spirituality despite her taking them to church and joining support groups.

When I personally prayed about the cursing that can easily come from lips who say they "love their children" and asked God to keep me from saying such things as well and to use my speech to bless my own children, I heard him tell me in the spirit, "You can't bless and curse your children from the same mouth. The curse will override the blessing especially if your children do not accept Jesus as adults." It made sense, if she had spoke positively over them, it wouldn't have kept them out of all trouble, but it would have given them a self-love rather than a self-hate irregardless of whatever obstacle they faced.

I must admit my mother spoke more positive over my life than she ever spoke negative and I suppose that is why I rebound as fast as I do out of bad situations. The spirit within me that I accepted as my personal Saviour in 1997 has sustained me through all my trials. Now I know there are those reading this that don't acknowledge anything remotely close to God, Allah, Jehovah or any other spiritual entity and that is okay for you, but it's not okay for me. Will I tell you that you are a fool, stupid, crazy, for not believing, I bet you thought I would but no because to do that I would be cursing you, now wouldn't I? God has that kind of power. But how many times do people say those kinds of things to their children because the children disagree with what they are telling them even if it is correct information?

Back to the mother who spent many years cursing her children who are now 50 plus, to this day if they don't do what she asks, she will "cuss them out." Meanwhile, if they are ill or sad about something she will pray for them and ask others to do the same. One of her children approached her with a concern similar to the subject matter in this article and to that she said, "I don't know how I have hurt you?" Her child provided examples and she still acted as if she didn't know what she was talking about and at times blatantly denied things she said and did that hurt her child. Some people no matter what evidence is in front of them they will not acknowledge that they are wrong.

So what should we all take from this article, we should remind ourselves that when our children "get on that last nerve" as one woman told me her children do to her, let us have self-control over our mouths and thoughts. If we think our child is simple, fool, stupid, crazy, or some other negative word then most likely the child will feel our anger and act in a way that will enrage us later. However, what if we said, "I don't like what you did and people who act like that are viewed as being fools, simple, crazy, etc." The child can easily see what we are saying without walking away feeling like we have insulted him or her personally. We must also put people in their place when they say, "Your child is going to grow up and give you heartache...your son is acting like a fool now I can only imagine how he will be when he is older...you better watch out your daughter is going to end up pregnant young..." Although these people think that what they are saying is okay, it isn't. They should be rebuked for saying these things, I personally told a woman the other day, "My child will not be what you say. He will be victorious. He will have a good family and job. He will do great things in life..." As I went on for almost a minute, it shut her up. I didn't care if she thought I was "one of those kind of parents" who glorified my children. The truth was I was combating against her curses and declaring blessings on my son. Whatever your strategy is to keep negative statements off your children, do it! It will make a difference in their lives!

Nicholl McGuire
http://gamesactivities.blogspot.com/

Note: Some details in this blog were changed to protect the woman and her children's identities and names were left out on purpose.

Mothers, why bother crying?

Motherhood what does it really mean anyway? Is it a lifestyle? A way of life? An opportunity to give life? Mothers do they instantly love their babies once they are told they are pregnant or do they accept first and love later or never at all? So I have been told some couples should have never had children. They love themselves and their partners more than they love their children. To them the children just got in the way. They raise them because they are required to do so all the while praying that their children become successful enough to move away and visit every now and then. God forbid their children have grandchildren! These selfish parents will reflect back on a time in their lives (most specifically being a parent) when they didn't enjoy parenting. For these parents it was difficult and hindered them from their many dreams they had hoped to accomplish in life.

I admitted in another blog that when I found out about my first pregnancy and all others I was not happy and being a mother was not something I was ready for, but once spiritual teachings got a hold of me subconsciously something was happening I just didn’t know it back in 1997 before the children – the year I received Christ. Trying to apply scripture to my life was challenging enough back then. Furthermore, I had to be responsible for teaching my children too (beginning in 1999 with the first) once they entered the world and I barely understood most of what I read. Biblical principals became clearer to me when I read children’s bible stories. They gave me the inspiration to stand even when I rather just fall. I learned how to pray the kind of prayers only a mother can pray once I had my own children. I didn’t understand before I had children why sometimes my grandmother would just get on her knees and just moan asking God for a number of things many of which I couldn’t understand, but somewhere between her moaning and groaning I heard “son” and “daughter.” Her prayers were getting through to a God who not only listened to grandma’s prayers but acted on them.

Why as mothers do we bother to cry (pray)? It’s not like anyone will listen, right? Wrong! A mother’s cry will get results from the boardroom to the hospital room someone will do what they are told or face the wrath of a mother! She usually has a secret arsenal of ways to get people to do what she asks. If it means writing letters, making phone calls, setting up meetings, organizing groups, or protesting a company, she will do whatever it takes to get justice for her child.

How many times have you heard a son or daughter thank their mother first after accepting an award or opportunity? “If it wasn’t for my mother, I wouldn’t be here… If it wasn’t for my mother pushing us to do…” There is a special power a mother has over her children. She may not get them to do things when she wants them done, but she can get her children to feel. A father can’t get down into the depths of his children’s souls like a mother can! God has gifted mothers to reach a place within their children that others can’t. Once the child can feel the presence of his or her mother, everything else will follow. The bed will get made, the school grades will come up, the bad relationship will end, the negative influences will dissipate, and bodily aches and pains don’t feel so bad. Unfortunately, there aren’t enough mothers who can reach their children in this way, because if they could the world would be a different place. This doesn’t mean that the fathers don’t have any impact on their children, because they do but their role is different from a mothers’ role and as much as we would like to think that both sexes can play one another’s roles that is a lie! God gifted mothers and fathers in different ways. One can’t do without the other no matter how much we would like to reason, substitute, or make excuses.

Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://parentsbabieschildren.blogspot.com

You Can't Seem to Do Anything Right: Ungrateful Partners & Spoiled Children

You can't seem to do anything right! He is seated on the couch looking at you wondering what is wrong with you. You are seated in a chair across from him wondering what is wrong with him. You may be the first to ask the question, "What's wrong?" Somehow a simple question ends up with you yelling, crying or both trying to explain to him why he doesn't understand how you feel.

You see there are those fathers out there that really don't understand the demands placed on mothers. You are supposed to know where everything is, step up to the plate when the children are out of control, be available even when your partner says nothing (mind read,) remind him and the children of appointments, errands, etc. and the simple thanks you want is not another dollar placed in your hands (although that would be nice coming from the man of the house) but a hug and a kiss! Then they wonder why you don't treat them like you did back in the early days. "You aren't as nice as you once were," they may say. And neither were they, they changed too, because after the dog and pony show and the two of you got married and had babies, he sat on the couch with remote control in hand, feet up, and he felt he was done trying to win you over or hold you close while whispering sweet nothings in your ear, and telling you how much he loved you. Supposedly you are expected to just know it!

If you haven't noticed I have had my share of experiences with men and I have heard some awful stories of men who don't have a clue as to what their role as husband or father is and somehow it is left up to the woman to show him. Then when she attempts to do just that he becomes angry telling her, "I don't need you to tell me what I am supposed to do, I'm doing it already." Yeah okay!? So I sit here in front of my computer typing these words, because I know someone out there in cyberworld knows about this place in my spirit I am writing from, because you are in it right now as I type.

You are frustrated to the point of tears often because your husband wants you to be his mother too. He expects you to cook, clean, shop, wash clothes, organize, and do everything else that his mother either did for him or never did. Then after you have fulfilled all of his requests or slacked one day after a proven history of being on top of things, he has the nerve to walk around the house with an attitude. He wants to punish you by stepping aside when you walk by him hoping that you don't touch him and he doesn't touch you. He wants to stay to himself and barely say anything to you unless you talk to him first. The little time he spends with the children, he thinks you are supposed to be there to help him when he is struggling. Then when you do he has a problem with that too!

When mothers cry about issues like these it comes from a hurt place in their spirit that has been everything to everyone else, but herself and no matter what she does it is never good enough! She comes to her partner with a complaint about the way he has been treating her and he wants to use her time as a platform to list his complaints about her, mind you, issues he didn't have until she approached him first. These mental games, that some men play, has been responsible for sending some women away in straight jackets. To make my point more clearer, say you clean up your home, get the children ready for bed, and take the time to sit back and relax with a book in hand. Along comes your mate who has an issue with how soon you put the children to bed or is bothered that you are reading a book rather then sitting in the room watching television with him, what is wrong with that picture? Everything! Because he isn't respecting the time you need to yourself. Everyone needs some time in their day to sit back and just breathe. They shouldn't have to be concerned about what else do they need to do or is there going to be a supervisor on the homefront checking over their job, calling them in the office, and disciplining them for not getting the task done right. Like birds who have nests that they retire in for the night, humans have a home where they should feel safe and at peace from the havoc that is going on outside of the home. If a partner keeps repeating this pattern of what I call "mental abuse" long enough, the woman will begin to either succumb to his every need including the ones that would make most of us cringe, feel less important than who she is or unfortunately take her frustrations out on the wrong people. There are other results that could happen as well, but listing those would make this post too long so I'll quit right there.

I also would like to describe this frustration that a mother feels by using an analogy between two siblings. The older sibling goes to the younger sibling and says, "Give me a hug." So she attempts to and then the older sibling pushes her away and says, "No I don't want a hug." Once again the older sibling says, "Give me a hug." The younger sibling attempts to hug her again and then she says, "No I don't want a hug." This sick game continues until finally the younger sibling says, "I'm not giving you a hug!" Sometimes I see this happening in relationships between mothers and children and mothers and fathers. Everyone wants a hug, but when arms are open wide and the attempt is being made he or she resists, it's a sick game and there are some mothers that are in it and don't know what to do.

So here's what can be done. Move on with your life! Now I'm not saying run from your situation. But what I am saying is, you did all that you could for your household it's time to give yourself a vacation and make those around you appreciate you more rather than take you for granted. If it means visiting a new location in your city and staying overnight in a hotel do it! Start scheduling more time for yourself! Organize your home in such a way that it is self sufficient. Your partner can no longer rely on you for things he can do himself. Your children will have to learn to do more for themselves even if you have a two-year-old who has a habit of leaving messes behind, teach him or her to clean them up!

Listen, when more and more mothers find ways to dry those tears of frustration when it comes to their incompetent partners and spoiled children, these folks will have no choice but to turn to you and ask you, "Can I have a hug?" Now the power is in your hands, you can hug them back or walk away, your choice!

When Mothers Cry About Money

There is never going to be enough money to do what we want to do. This is a hard truth for some mothers to swallow! To suggest that she live on less is insulting to some working mothers nowadays! Today's mother is more educated than her mother and grandmother. She is more conscious of the things her children need that will make them competitive in school. Every generation before her, wanted to give their children more than what they had.

It all sounds good, but when you are faced with a mountain of debt, some thing has got to give! What is it about money that is making you cry these days? Is it the husband that is spending far more than what you both can afford or is it you? Are the children having one problem after another or just one more activity that is burning a hole in your pocket? Is it necessary to have the four bedroom home, the two cars, the cell phones, the cable television -- all with bells and whistles? Does anyone really pay that close attention to the labels that you wear inside your clothes, on your feet or hung from your shoulder?

The fact is the more money we make, the more we want! The more credit we are accpeted for, the more we want to spend on others! Then we complain to family and friends about our money woes or better yet, we say nothing and pretend as if everything is fine when it is not! How do we find peace about money? For starters we have to learn to appreciate what we have! We think that we need new dishware, new furniture, new clothes for ourselves and the children, new gadgets for our man, and we will be satisfied with all of these purchases until...the dishware falls apart or doesn't work like we had hoped, the furniture and clothes get stained or tear, and the gadgets stop being used or don't work, then WE LOSE IT! We scream, "No one appreciates what I do! I'm still paying on that! I'm sorry I bought this! They don't make anything worthwhile!"

I guess the point of my blog is this, we put more hope in things then we do wisdom! Wisdom tells us that "If you buy that he will become angry or find an excuse to buy something equally or more expensive." Wisdom warns us, "If you get that for the children, they will only ruin it." Wisdom reminds us, "Remember the last time you got something for the household, no one cared as much about it as you, and so you spent more time scolding and warning then truly enjoying it!"

At some point through trial and error, you would think some mothers would get a clue, but they don't! It's time for a reality check, live below your means! Make do with what you have, dress it up, fry it, boil it, flip it, change it, move it, throw it out, give it away, most of all cut it off if it causes you to sin!

I wouldn't speak this way, if I hadn't cried over money in the past myself.

Be blessed not stressed!


Nicholl McGuire, for more articles visit: http://associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire This is also a great site to make some extra cash without paying for a single thing, so click the link!

Standing Up for Your Children

When a child can’t speak for him or herself, a mother comes to her child’s rescue. How dare anyone insult, belittle, abuse, threaten or even murder her child! A mother, who has had a son or daughter go through any one of these issues, is a mother with an angry cry.

May God have mercy on the one who hurt her child! She will come like a raging bull with police, relatives, church members, petitions, lawyers, or weapons whatever it takes to get justice for her child. Why would anyone in their right mind think that they could hurt someone’s child and get away with it?

I remember when a girl back in high school decided she was going to tell some people that she wanted to kill me. I knew she was jealous of me, but not to the point of threatening me behind my back. When word reached my mother’s ears, we practically ran to the school. Within a matter of minutes there was a meeting with the girl, a school counselor and the principal. Notice I didn’t mention her mother, wonder where she was? Word traveled fast, “Nicky’s mother was up at the school.” Now it is very unpopular for a parent to show up at your high school when you are in your teen years. I remember we all tried very hard to keep our parents out of our business, but someone threatening to kill you, is just cause to get everyone involved. The message sent to staff and students after my mother’s visit was “think twice about messing with my child.”

When a person who has wronged you knows that you have “mother” backup, they will try to resolve whatever issue they have with you. It gives the curse word “motherfu…r” a whole new meaning! The sales clerk doesn’t want your elderly mother to have a heart attack on his shift over an incorrect price on your sales receipt. The bank manager doesn’t want your mother to withdraw her life savings, because of a minor issue that could be resolved with one phone call for you. The principal doesn’t want your mother talking about him at the next PTA meeting, so he will clear his calendar for you. The pastor doesn’t want your mother not paying her tithes or spreading gossip, so he may go above and beyond for you. Most of all, your husband or boyfriend will not want your mother to tell you that he is no good for you, so he may not only be nicer to you, but offer to assist your mother too.

There is an experience that one, without a relationship with his or her mother, will never know or ever understand. It is when you are battling an issue or need someone that knows you well to speak on your behalf, a good mother doesn’t have to be asked twice. She will fight for you whether you are guilty or innocent. She will defend you when no one else will. She will stand up for you when everyone else wants to give up on you! She will fight, lie, steal, cheat or beg for you! She will pray for you and God will listen. However, a bad mother won’t do a damn thing for you when you need her! There are mothers reading this that are thinking about the times when their mother just didn’t seem to care when they came to her with a problem. The mother went so far as to ask the devastating question of “What did you do to cause this?” These mothers are crying every time they think about how their mother went against them when they needed her most. They had often wished for someone else to be their mother. Some of these mothers have gone so far as to disown their biological mother and take up a new one.

For a woman to call herself a mother and allow a defenseless child to drown in a mess that her child didn’t cause is a woman without a cry. She is the mother who will read something like this and ask, “What are all these mothers crying about?” She hasn’t allowed herself to experience pain or hasn’t been through enough yet to bring her to the floor in a fit of tears, but as we all know her day is coming. The day when she will not be able to run from her child’s cry or numb the pain with any alcohol, drugs, sex, religion, or ignorance. She will have to open her mouth and speak up for her child even when she rather not. She will have to reach down in her purse, find her wallet, take out some money and pay for something to help her child, even though she can’t afford to, and then she will begin to see what other mothers have been experiencing. What’s it like for a mother to have to do for her child when she doesn’t want to and they don’t deserve her help? It’s like a temporary inconvenience in her daily life. The dishwasher stops working, the lights get cut off, the car breaks down, all temporary problems, but when these things happen too often someone will want to hold someone accountable, dealing with children who have issues works the same way. However, when your child’s problem, becomes someone else’s, society blames no one, but you.

When a mother takes a stand for her child, she is doing something that services her more than anyone else. She is letting the world know that, “This is my child!” She doesn’t take too kindly to someone who doesn’t have children telling her how to raise her children either. To her, that is an insult, “Who does she think she is telling me how to raise my child?” She yells. It doesn’t matter that her child is the cause of the problem, but what matters is that she loves her child unconditionally. A love that is very hard to understand when you are a mother without a cry. Crying is like a flood it washes away whatever is in its path. Pain, guilt, sadness, worry, whatever, it cleanses the emotional poisons within and around us if we allow ourselves to cry. Children remember their mother’s cries and those tears will either force them to change or cause them to run away; however, whatever path they choose, they have learned a new element of pain that is much greater than when they fell and scraped their knees. They know that if mother cries something must be terribly wrong and they may try to comfort her by changing whatever they are doing to make her stop crying.

A mother who cries is a good mother. Crying is not a weakness for her, it is her strength it washes away selfishness, anger, resentment and confusion too. Crying brings clarity, strength, compassion, and a sense of self-worth. It reminds us that we are living, breathing, and only human. While some women will grow stronger mentally and physically as a result of defending their children’s cries, others will grow weak from the guilt of wishing they had done something, anything to help their children.

Written by Nicholl McGuire