Today my son asked, “is there anyone here, obviously not you, mom, who is
good at math?†Immediately, I took offense because we are in the middle of
a p...
Showing posts with label angry mothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angry mothers. Show all posts
Tuesday
Saturday
The Dr. Phil Show - Angry Moms - What Might Be Your Issues?
Visit Dr. Phil website for advice. Be sure to list what might be going on with you if you behave this way. Here are some things you might want to research about.
1. Health related issues
2. Side effects from prescription medicines, herbal remedies, etc.
3. Workplace stress
4. Unfulfilling relationship with partner
5. Harboring unforgiveness, resentment, etc. related to children and others
6. Hectic schedule i.e.) school activities, long work hours...
7. Lack of sex, no partner
8. Financial issues
9. No support from family
10. Moody partner
11. Lack of sleep
12. New diet, exercise program
Address the issues, think of others, and seek help.
Wednesday
Mothers Can Be a Threat to Any Political Agenda, City Development... if They Were to Unify
In the past, I posted some videos about mothers doing great things to bring about change in their communities. They didn't like a city development, they protested. They were unhappy about public breast feeding issues, they did something about it. They were angry about what the board of education was doing in their areas, they showed up at the meetings. And the list goes on. I have returned back to this topic, because I thought of those many manipulative strategies that have taken place over decades to keep mothers' minds in poor communities preoccupied on everything, but what really matters when it comes to: personal development, economics, education, healthcare, government, and much more. Examples are as follows:
1. A bombardment of local promotions on things you really don't need.
2. A favorite celebrity telling you what you ought to buy.
3. More extracurricular activities to put your children in that do nothing more then take away your time to think about how you are being manipulated by others.
4. Propaganda to get you to go along with rich men and women's agendas, rules, laws, etc.
5. Soap operas, court television shows, reality TV, dramas, and anything else to keep you glued to a screen.
6. Homework and more homework, school supplies, fund-raisers, and other things that relieve the teachers and the school budget. Meanwhile, you work more, they take your money, and you aren't thinking too much at those Board and PTA meetings and school conferences when they expect you to do just one more thing to confuse the hell out of you concerning your child i.e.) Common Core.
If one is often busy with children, partner, job, and other related things, then who is really fighting for the rights of poor mothers or any mothers for that matter? Who is pushing agendas to get impoverished women out of the house and back to work again? Who is really concerned about low-income, yet educated women getting equal pay? And who really benefits from jumping on the bandwagon of the Latest New Idea or being a spokesperson for Whatever Comes to Mind propaganda specifically designed to keep mothers from thinking beyond their daily responsibilities?
Let us be cautious of those who don't have children, yet are very vocal about mothers and their lifestyles often from a negative viewpoint like "Don't have anymore kids..." looks like you have a wounded leader/writer/counselor/educator with childhood issues trying to give you advice about motherhood that they took from mothers! Let us also think twice about going along with popular opinion, agendas, and stories designed to pull on the heartstrings of mothers. There is much money to be made from women with spouses and children and not all of the services and products offered are needed, useful or affordable to the working class/slaves.
If a mother is spending much money outside of her home, then she has very little left over to do the things that spiritually she has been called to do. She makes no time to research the material she buys for her family, read anything to improve her personal development, or even pray for knowledge concerning issues that are systematically destroying her family. She is often overwhelmed with making, spending and attempting to save money while meeting her family's needs. By nightfall, she is too mentally drained and physically tired to do much else.
Consider what I am saying as a prophetic warning for some of you readers, take your needed rest now, because in the future you will find that battles will continue on the home-front affecting your wallet, relationship and parenting--notice some of these television shows with their strange story-telling and twisted viewpoints that go against traditional morals and personal values. Keep watch over what these teachers are sharing with your children and pay attention to media that they select for them to study. In addition, be advised that many businesses benefit from couples separating and/or divorcing as well as having separate income. So why would they encourage you to be together in a healthy, functional relationship? From two places to stay rather than one to two individuals paying separate taxes on just about everything they own or lease, couples who are no longer together can be very profitable. These broken people will need medicines for headaches and heartaches. Their children might need counseling for any number of issues. Loans will be needed to keep household finances afloat. Daycare costs will increase. Lawyers will be needed. Government aid will be readily available. And it all costs someone something--so be prepared to pay up!
In decades past, when agendas to liberate women took place, both young and old felt empowered and began to leave traditional roles of being wives, stay-at-home mothers (now called at-home mothers--business don't want you staying at home) and care takers to pursue dreams. However, what really happened (and is still ongoing today) is that rich men are getting their dreams met off the backs of hard-working, underpaid women. They are retiring to the comfort of sofas while mothers are still dealing with parenting issues, money challenges, household issues, and other things. The last thing so-called good business men and women would want is for a mother to be at home with children--that is unless you threaten their positions or their beloved children. In that case, stay at home mom!
Those who study economic trends are working diligently to keep the women's movement going, but not in the traditional sense where cameras are rolling, women are burning bras, and other radical things. The elite mothers are unified and working behind the scenes to get needs met regardless of petty differences. You can't get a personal agenda accomplished if you are exposing your plans to the enemy. Yet, the mom and pop group/chapter in your local area is having grievances over silly issues like what someone said or what he or she looks like, how an event is planned, and what money should be allocated to buy whatever (sigh).
So I see what is happening in mainstream media and in some ways I am quite pleased at what women are accomplishing in media, government, education, etc. But I also noticed there is still a long road ahead. Veteran actresses, educated women, and others are still selling their souls to the devil by saying and doing things that go against the wisest book on the face of this earth--The Bible. Those that don't want change, find every way possible to block policies, laws, ideas, protests, and more. While others who do want it, are willing to do just about anything to shake hands with the Devil.
If one is prepared to start or join a Holy Ghost inspired movement, she must be mentally, physically and spiritually strong. Too often some ideas never move beyond mere thoughts, because a mother is not capable of handling the responsibilities that come with getting things done. The rebellious mother has no reverence, desire, or understanding of spiritual things especially those that God has called her to do.
If you are one that might have little time, but more money, then why not financially help your sister, who has her work prioritized and has the drive for the cause--find out what they might be, contact her? If you have both little time and money, then why not provide resources that could be of assistance? And for those who have time (that could be better used making a positive impact rather than watching TV, surfing the Internet or gossiping with family and friends), why not plan to start something beneficial to society or assist others with their grass root movements?
Mothers (rich, poor, young, old, black and white) can be a threat to any establishment if they were to unify and elitists know this. Joining popular groups, (owned by men with little regard for women's causes and make no impact where you live) is not necessarily the way to go since many that receive any form of government assistance are deemed nothing more than "agents" or watchdog groups. Money-hungry mothers who belong to some of these, don't mind snitching on their sisters.
If you are considering on joining any group or starting one, establish trust with those you know right where you are, fly under the radar (meaning don't advertise like you would for a corporation or have much human traffic in and out of your home), stay focused on your cause, and say no to useless groups, money-sapping causes, activities, places, and things that want nothing more than to use you, your children and your energy up so that you aren't concerned about your community, the United States or international issues that affect you and your family.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
1. A bombardment of local promotions on things you really don't need.
2. A favorite celebrity telling you what you ought to buy.
3. More extracurricular activities to put your children in that do nothing more then take away your time to think about how you are being manipulated by others.
4. Propaganda to get you to go along with rich men and women's agendas, rules, laws, etc.
5. Soap operas, court television shows, reality TV, dramas, and anything else to keep you glued to a screen.
6. Homework and more homework, school supplies, fund-raisers, and other things that relieve the teachers and the school budget. Meanwhile, you work more, they take your money, and you aren't thinking too much at those Board and PTA meetings and school conferences when they expect you to do just one more thing to confuse the hell out of you concerning your child i.e.) Common Core.
If one is often busy with children, partner, job, and other related things, then who is really fighting for the rights of poor mothers or any mothers for that matter? Who is pushing agendas to get impoverished women out of the house and back to work again? Who is really concerned about low-income, yet educated women getting equal pay? And who really benefits from jumping on the bandwagon of the Latest New Idea or being a spokesperson for Whatever Comes to Mind propaganda specifically designed to keep mothers from thinking beyond their daily responsibilities?
Let us be cautious of those who don't have children, yet are very vocal about mothers and their lifestyles often from a negative viewpoint like "Don't have anymore kids..." looks like you have a wounded leader/writer/counselor/educator with childhood issues trying to give you advice about motherhood that they took from mothers! Let us also think twice about going along with popular opinion, agendas, and stories designed to pull on the heartstrings of mothers. There is much money to be made from women with spouses and children and not all of the services and products offered are needed, useful or affordable to the working class/slaves.
If a mother is spending much money outside of her home, then she has very little left over to do the things that spiritually she has been called to do. She makes no time to research the material she buys for her family, read anything to improve her personal development, or even pray for knowledge concerning issues that are systematically destroying her family. She is often overwhelmed with making, spending and attempting to save money while meeting her family's needs. By nightfall, she is too mentally drained and physically tired to do much else.
Consider what I am saying as a prophetic warning for some of you readers, take your needed rest now, because in the future you will find that battles will continue on the home-front affecting your wallet, relationship and parenting--notice some of these television shows with their strange story-telling and twisted viewpoints that go against traditional morals and personal values. Keep watch over what these teachers are sharing with your children and pay attention to media that they select for them to study. In addition, be advised that many businesses benefit from couples separating and/or divorcing as well as having separate income. So why would they encourage you to be together in a healthy, functional relationship? From two places to stay rather than one to two individuals paying separate taxes on just about everything they own or lease, couples who are no longer together can be very profitable. These broken people will need medicines for headaches and heartaches. Their children might need counseling for any number of issues. Loans will be needed to keep household finances afloat. Daycare costs will increase. Lawyers will be needed. Government aid will be readily available. And it all costs someone something--so be prepared to pay up!
In decades past, when agendas to liberate women took place, both young and old felt empowered and began to leave traditional roles of being wives, stay-at-home mothers (now called at-home mothers--business don't want you staying at home) and care takers to pursue dreams. However, what really happened (and is still ongoing today) is that rich men are getting their dreams met off the backs of hard-working, underpaid women. They are retiring to the comfort of sofas while mothers are still dealing with parenting issues, money challenges, household issues, and other things. The last thing so-called good business men and women would want is for a mother to be at home with children--that is unless you threaten their positions or their beloved children. In that case, stay at home mom!
Those who study economic trends are working diligently to keep the women's movement going, but not in the traditional sense where cameras are rolling, women are burning bras, and other radical things. The elite mothers are unified and working behind the scenes to get needs met regardless of petty differences. You can't get a personal agenda accomplished if you are exposing your plans to the enemy. Yet, the mom and pop group/chapter in your local area is having grievances over silly issues like what someone said or what he or she looks like, how an event is planned, and what money should be allocated to buy whatever (sigh).
So I see what is happening in mainstream media and in some ways I am quite pleased at what women are accomplishing in media, government, education, etc. But I also noticed there is still a long road ahead. Veteran actresses, educated women, and others are still selling their souls to the devil by saying and doing things that go against the wisest book on the face of this earth--The Bible. Those that don't want change, find every way possible to block policies, laws, ideas, protests, and more. While others who do want it, are willing to do just about anything to shake hands with the Devil.
If one is prepared to start or join a Holy Ghost inspired movement, she must be mentally, physically and spiritually strong. Too often some ideas never move beyond mere thoughts, because a mother is not capable of handling the responsibilities that come with getting things done. The rebellious mother has no reverence, desire, or understanding of spiritual things especially those that God has called her to do.
If you are one that might have little time, but more money, then why not financially help your sister, who has her work prioritized and has the drive for the cause--find out what they might be, contact her? If you have both little time and money, then why not provide resources that could be of assistance? And for those who have time (that could be better used making a positive impact rather than watching TV, surfing the Internet or gossiping with family and friends), why not plan to start something beneficial to society or assist others with their grass root movements?
Mothers (rich, poor, young, old, black and white) can be a threat to any establishment if they were to unify and elitists know this. Joining popular groups, (owned by men with little regard for women's causes and make no impact where you live) is not necessarily the way to go since many that receive any form of government assistance are deemed nothing more than "agents" or watchdog groups. Money-hungry mothers who belong to some of these, don't mind snitching on their sisters.
If you are considering on joining any group or starting one, establish trust with those you know right where you are, fly under the radar (meaning don't advertise like you would for a corporation or have much human traffic in and out of your home), stay focused on your cause, and say no to useless groups, money-sapping causes, activities, places, and things that want nothing more than to use you, your children and your energy up so that you aren't concerned about your community, the United States or international issues that affect you and your family.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
When Mothers Cry about Societal, Political, Marital, and Radical Injustices
You have the power, but naysayers will make you think you are powerless! "They" say that you need to busy yourself with things like: a career, not only help your child with homework but place him or her in a number of activities too, take care of your partner, cook, clean the house, run errands, and do other things that most moms do. If you should do well with all tasks assigned to you, then you are deemed "a good mom" by those that know you and those that don't. But what "they" don't want is for you to start thinking beyond the scope of your motherhood role. You know, ponder on things like: societal ills, political corruption/manipulation, protecting one's household from marital temptations, and supporting radical ideologies that could make this world a better place! "Now Mother, you shouldn't worry over such things. Why bother to talk about that...isn't there something else you could be doing?" The eye rolls, deep sighs, turn of the neck, a dropped down head, or one's feet walking away while talking, all clear indications that communicate even nowadays, "Shut up, this is still a man's world!" But is it?
Who are "they" you might ask? Anyone who prevents you from looking beyond the veil, seeking truth for yourself! If only you knew your power, consider the following. A cheating spouse isn't going to want to answer to a woman's instinct. He often worries about what a scorned woman might do. A lying child is not going to want to face mother's wit with yet another lie. A government establishment doesn't want to see your tears or hear your cries. Corporate and civic groups, who are more concerned about protecting their finances, don't want to hear from the mother's group unless they have something good to say or have an idea to share that will further swell their bank accounts.
Some mothers, like slaves, have been stripped over the years of things like: courage, confidence, love, patience, faith, and most of all honesty! They have paired up with selfish individuals and created greedy babies only to be later left alone by uncaring family. When truth is spoken by these same mothers, they don't win friends and most brainwashed individuals don't bother to join any bandwagons promoting things like, integrity and accountability.
There is something very wrong in one's home, church, and workplace when a mother points out to her family, "That is wrong, you know that isn't right, you aren't being truthful, what we should do is..." yet witnesses fight her on making wrongs right. A wise mom offers her insightful observation on a situation coupled with some life experience and dare she mention, "My God" and folks, who claim to love her, lose it. "Here we go again...her Jesus!" From the silent treatment to curse words, mothers on a mission endure a wrath from family, friends, even strangers who don't want to be awaken to any truth even if it means a Heavenly Creator wants to save their souls!
For those who are open to all things righteous and true, they encourage a weary mother to keep fighting the good fight. Some will join her on her truth crusade and help finance her movement. She doesn't want to be left alone, simply raising children, without a voice or free time to pursue truth. Further, she doesn't want to be so busy that she can't see the devil lurking around the corner either!
A stable-minded mother will analyze all people, even a spouse and all that comes with him, because she knows her responsibility is to, not only protect her children, but help elevate humanity--demand righteousness and dwell in peace! So if you should witness a God-fearing mom standing on her soap box on some days screaming aloud, "Listen to me!" Don't blame it on her "time," but know that the Spirit within her has good reason!
Nicholl McGuire
Who are "they" you might ask? Anyone who prevents you from looking beyond the veil, seeking truth for yourself! If only you knew your power, consider the following. A cheating spouse isn't going to want to answer to a woman's instinct. He often worries about what a scorned woman might do. A lying child is not going to want to face mother's wit with yet another lie. A government establishment doesn't want to see your tears or hear your cries. Corporate and civic groups, who are more concerned about protecting their finances, don't want to hear from the mother's group unless they have something good to say or have an idea to share that will further swell their bank accounts.
Some mothers, like slaves, have been stripped over the years of things like: courage, confidence, love, patience, faith, and most of all honesty! They have paired up with selfish individuals and created greedy babies only to be later left alone by uncaring family. When truth is spoken by these same mothers, they don't win friends and most brainwashed individuals don't bother to join any bandwagons promoting things like, integrity and accountability.
There is something very wrong in one's home, church, and workplace when a mother points out to her family, "That is wrong, you know that isn't right, you aren't being truthful, what we should do is..." yet witnesses fight her on making wrongs right. A wise mom offers her insightful observation on a situation coupled with some life experience and dare she mention, "My God" and folks, who claim to love her, lose it. "Here we go again...her Jesus!" From the silent treatment to curse words, mothers on a mission endure a wrath from family, friends, even strangers who don't want to be awaken to any truth even if it means a Heavenly Creator wants to save their souls!
For those who are open to all things righteous and true, they encourage a weary mother to keep fighting the good fight. Some will join her on her truth crusade and help finance her movement. She doesn't want to be left alone, simply raising children, without a voice or free time to pursue truth. Further, she doesn't want to be so busy that she can't see the devil lurking around the corner either!
A stable-minded mother will analyze all people, even a spouse and all that comes with him, because she knows her responsibility is to, not only protect her children, but help elevate humanity--demand righteousness and dwell in peace! So if you should witness a God-fearing mom standing on her soap box on some days screaming aloud, "Listen to me!" Don't blame it on her "time," but know that the Spirit within her has good reason!
Nicholl McGuire
Friday
It's Okay Not to Want Your Children Around
You are often upset, life is becoming increasingly stressful. The children are getting on your last nerve. SO you think to yourself, "Who is available to watch them? When is school starting back up? Where is the local childcare facility? Who might be a good babysitter?"
Don't let others, who are obviously just as stressed as you, talk you out of seeking help for your children. Think of the many mothers who tried to play Super Mom end up snapping and causing much mental and physical harm to children or worse murdering them!
How do you know when enough is enough and you seriously need help with children?
1. Frequent arguments with spouse about the children.
2. Children becoming more difficult to manage.
3. Crying outbursts over the littlest of things that happen even when you are not on your period.
4. Frequent screaming matches with yourself, the children and anyone else around.
5. Throwing things.
6. An increase of cursing.
7. Pushing, shoving, biting or any other temper tantrum that a child would typically do, yet you find yourself doing these things.
Share your concerns with others who have children, but avoid those who are self-righteous and don't believe they have any family challenges. Seek out services in your community that offer childcare services, extracurricular activties for children, and family related events. The more you keep having to tell yourself, "I'm alright" know that this is a clear indication you need some help.
The end result if you should continue on a highly stressful path with children in tote is:
1. A marriage or relationship comes to an end.
2. Illnesses increase.
3. Costly bills mount.
4. Family drama worsens.
5. Friendships end because you are not a good person to talk to.
6. Your relationship with your children worsens, because they often see a stressed out Mom rather than a loving and kind one.
Keep this in mind, you are not less than a mother, stepmother, or caretaker, because you don't want your children around you during stressful times in your life. Avoid hiding your feelings from those who can obviously see you are stressed out. Don't lie or cover up your moodiness, impatience, and irritability with your children so that appears like you have everything under control. Most of all, don't take your negative attitude out on your spouse. He or she just might be dealing with many issues as well and the last thing your loved one wants is to be emotionally or physically abused because you can't manage your stress. If your partner is preventing you from getting help, then leave the children with him or her as much as possible. Take as much time away as you need (even if you have to steal it) without feelings of guilt. Explain to your partner, "I really need some time away...and if you can't do your part to help out, I'm not sure what the outcome might be in the future, but I don't anticipate it being a good one." Sometimes this is what it takes for people to be more understanding--a serious wake up call!
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Don't let others, who are obviously just as stressed as you, talk you out of seeking help for your children. Think of the many mothers who tried to play Super Mom end up snapping and causing much mental and physical harm to children or worse murdering them!
How do you know when enough is enough and you seriously need help with children?
1. Frequent arguments with spouse about the children.
2. Children becoming more difficult to manage.
3. Crying outbursts over the littlest of things that happen even when you are not on your period.
4. Frequent screaming matches with yourself, the children and anyone else around.
5. Throwing things.
6. An increase of cursing.
7. Pushing, shoving, biting or any other temper tantrum that a child would typically do, yet you find yourself doing these things.
Share your concerns with others who have children, but avoid those who are self-righteous and don't believe they have any family challenges. Seek out services in your community that offer childcare services, extracurricular activties for children, and family related events. The more you keep having to tell yourself, "I'm alright" know that this is a clear indication you need some help.
The end result if you should continue on a highly stressful path with children in tote is:
1. A marriage or relationship comes to an end.
2. Illnesses increase.
3. Costly bills mount.
4. Family drama worsens.
5. Friendships end because you are not a good person to talk to.
6. Your relationship with your children worsens, because they often see a stressed out Mom rather than a loving and kind one.
Keep this in mind, you are not less than a mother, stepmother, or caretaker, because you don't want your children around you during stressful times in your life. Avoid hiding your feelings from those who can obviously see you are stressed out. Don't lie or cover up your moodiness, impatience, and irritability with your children so that appears like you have everything under control. Most of all, don't take your negative attitude out on your spouse. He or she just might be dealing with many issues as well and the last thing your loved one wants is to be emotionally or physically abused because you can't manage your stress. If your partner is preventing you from getting help, then leave the children with him or her as much as possible. Take as much time away as you need (even if you have to steal it) without feelings of guilt. Explain to your partner, "I really need some time away...and if you can't do your part to help out, I'm not sure what the outcome might be in the future, but I don't anticipate it being a good one." Sometimes this is what it takes for people to be more understanding--a serious wake up call!
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Thursday
I Wouldn’t Hurt My Child, But You I Would: When Mom Needs Joy
There is a mother somewhere who is taking out her frustration on being a parent on others almost on a daily basis. “I wouldn’t hurt my child…” so she says, but when it comes to everyone else, “But you, I would!” Well that is an entirely different story.
Not happy with how her life turned out, a young mother cries
for attention, affection, and a host of other things. But the one thing she needs the most, she can’t
get from men, women, children, and things.
“And what might that be,” you ask? Joy!
An overwhelming emotion that sticks around longer than happiness even
when the baby is crying, her man is complaining, and other children and
relatives have all kinds of issues, all that mother wants is some joy! Oh sure peace is nice, but joy is contagious.
So how does she get some joy? Joy doesn’t come overnight and you can’t get
it by periodic church attendance or saying a quick prayer every now and
then. In my personal experience, I have
felt the presence of joy come into my life and linger when I could wrap my mind
around my purpose for living, coupled with a serious self-chat about my
reactions to any and all people and things and then summed up to thoughts and
study of my eternal destiny complete with our Creator while envisioning a future
void of all my current responsibilities.
Sit back for a moment, re-read then ponder.
It is an awesome thing to reach a point in your life where
all these challenges you go through will pass.
You don’t doubt this concept, you don’t debate it, and you don’t whine
about it—all issues will pass! The child
can’t scream his or her head off forever.
The man can’t be a grump forever.
Relatives and friends can’t have grudges, dramas, and more for always. The storms in this life will pass away! So what are you going to do in the
meantime? Act like the meanest,
nastiest, evilest woman on this earth while acting like an angel with your
child (as if he or she isn’t watching how you treat others).
For the woman, who appears to be okay with her personal
life, but in a storm with everyone else, nothing passes away in her world. There is always someone or something getting
the best of her emotions if it isn’t her husband, it is the neighbor, the store
clerk, even what she might call “The Man Upstairs!” The
photos of her deceased relatives, who she proudly displays throughout her home,
look at her sometimes as if talking to her from the other side, “Get a
grip! You love your kid too much. What’s going to happen when he/she goes
away? You still have to face the rest of
society. Keep acting the way you are and
you will end up killing yourself or being killed!”
The ugliness of the past continues to haunt her every time
she passes mom’s photo, dad’s, sister’s, brother’s (sigh). She fights with herself and her partner over
unresolved issues. She never wanted to
be responsible for the next generation, but she encourages herself by saying, “There
is nothing I can do about my surprise/mistake/miracle/blessing, so I will just
love this child anyway, but I don’t have to love everyone else!”
The mother who hasn’t managed to be at peace with her motherhood
role somehow warps what is supposed to be a half logical, half creative
mind in such a way where she isn’t mad with self, child or sometimes even the
man she has had the baby with, but society, her childhood, relatives, and
others are to blame. But none of these
people were in the bed with her and her lover when she procreated, right? Wrong!
The mother had brought all her baggage into her lovemaking session in
the hopes that she would be free of all that was wrong with her, but to no
avail. For some, even the act of a sexual
release when the child was created was sub par.
Mom is often angry and it doesn’t take much to set her
off. “What now? Who do you think you are? I will hurt you about my family!” she yells
at a stranger. Does she even care about
her family that much?
It all appears normal at first, her life. Spending time with a mother with her
misplaced anger issues eventually show up and show out! Of course, we wouldn’t want her to take her
frustrations out on her family, but she shouldn’t get so upset with others
because she has yet to recognize what is really bothering her about her role.
Maybe there are some unfulfilled dreams and this mother’s
current responsibilities are keeping her from achieving them. Could she also be fighting a situation that
is a no-win battle with herself or a partner, but is too busy or too fearful to
deal with the issues?
Whatever her problem, the rest of the world has very little
time, patience, or even love to put up with this kind of mother who loves her
baby, but hates everyone else. So when
she acts irate, irrational, or carries other negative emotions, the world will
deal with her in such a way that she has no choice but to face her personal
demons or die. Yes, it is just that
simple. Face the ugly truth about one’s
choices in this life and how you intend to obtain that unspeakable joy. “I wasn’t ready for this baby or this
man! I need an escape! Help me Lord!” are issues that must be dealt
with spiritually above everything else.
The minute a bitter mother with misplaced anger issues sees
the light, she will then find the freedom that she needs to grow and go wherever her personal Savior
is instructing her. Will there be
judgmental, mean-spirited, ignorant people along the way as she embarks on her
journey toward joy? Of course. It is
then that her anger will be justified and in its proper place.
Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and creator of hub entitled, "How to Be Nice to Rude People"
Today was a Good Day!
Sometimes it is challenging for some mothers to say, "Today was a good day!" Because they are often feeling upset about one thing or another. But when those good days come, we should all rejoice!
A mother who is often angered isn't someone you will want to be around. When you ask her how she is doing, she usually responds with, "I'm okay. Alright I guess. Not bad. Not feeling good. Don't feel well." Sometimes she doesn't bother expressing her feelings, she just gets right to it, "You know I wanted to ream him a new one! You know she's such a b*tch!" You walk away feeling sorry you asked.
You may have got off the phone as fast as you could with a friend like this. You may have avoided others in the store. You have enough problems of your own, you don't think you can stomach someone else's drama.
I'm not mad at you or myself for doing this. Good days don't come often for many of us if we work in certain professions and that's all we hear on a regular basis is bad news, have to care for someone who is mentally ill, have health issues, and other things that others could not and would not attempt to understand.
So if today is your good day and you are fighting to stay away from negative people and situations, by all means do it! Don't feel guilty!
Nicholl McGuire
http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com
A mother who is often angered isn't someone you will want to be around. When you ask her how she is doing, she usually responds with, "I'm okay. Alright I guess. Not bad. Not feeling good. Don't feel well." Sometimes she doesn't bother expressing her feelings, she just gets right to it, "You know I wanted to ream him a new one! You know she's such a b*tch!" You walk away feeling sorry you asked.
You may have got off the phone as fast as you could with a friend like this. You may have avoided others in the store. You have enough problems of your own, you don't think you can stomach someone else's drama.
I'm not mad at you or myself for doing this. Good days don't come often for many of us if we work in certain professions and that's all we hear on a regular basis is bad news, have to care for someone who is mentally ill, have health issues, and other things that others could not and would not attempt to understand.
So if today is your good day and you are fighting to stay away from negative people and situations, by all means do it! Don't feel guilty!
Nicholl McGuire
http://spiritualpoemsbynicholl.blogspot.com
Wednesday
Get Angry at God - He Can Take it
At first I hesitated about putting the following article on this site due to the headline, but you know it's so true! Although we don't like to admit it sometimes, but alot of our anger shouldn't be directed at partners and children, but we should take our angry emotions to God. He understands. Please read the following of one woman's experience being angry at God.
In seeking a life guided by God, I have experienced the most profound understanding of God's love for me after venting raw emotions. Take for example last summer going into the fall.
I had to have some surgery done on an out-patient basis. Everything went well and I was feeling good by the fifth day until I received a phone call. It was my eighty-eight year old mother telling me that she had fallen and had broken her wrist. I wasn't supposed to drive and fortunately, my husband, Robert, was at a rare meeting in town as opposed to being sixty miles away on a typical work day. We picked her up and took her to the emergency room. More good news was that she had broken the left wrist and she is right handed. That would be the end of the good news.
Four weeks later I received a call that my brother had collapsed on the running trail and needed to have open-heart surgery. One week after that announcement, my mother called telling me that she fell and had broken the other wrist. (No wonder I hate answering the telephone at home!)
My mother is fortunate to be healthy and live on her own. But with two broken wrists, arrangements needed to be made to put her in a care facility until she could use her arms again. So, for weeks I shuffled back and forth, doing laundry, visiting her, sometimes taking her meals, and making sure she was getting the care she needed. During this time I was also trying to launch a business.
Thank goodness I had my constant companion of ten years, Duffy the Golden Retriever. After coming home from running all of the day's errands, I would be physically and mentally exhausted. Duffy would always burst through the door to greet me with tail wagging and full of adoring love and affection. He had gotten me through the most difficult times of my life and this was ranked up there as one of the worst.
My brother came through the surgery with flying colors. After repeated visits to the nursing home, I was more confident that Mom was being taken care of and she was doing as well as could be expected. Things were starting to look up - that is until Halloween.
From a weather standpoint, It was one of the most beautiful days ever. But at 11PM that night, Duffy got sick and wanted to go outside. He tried to throw up and couldn't. When he came in, he had doubled in size. I called the animal hospital emergency room and they told me to get him in right away - that his stomach had turned. Robert and I raced the five minutes to the hospital. I wasn't crying, I was wailing. We got Duffy comfortable and were given the options. We decided to do everything to save him which would mean surgery.
I was fortunate to see him. Duffy wasn't suffering anymore and he recognized me. I got to say good-bye. I knew in my heart that he wasn't going to pull through. The doctor said they would call us in a few hours.
At this time it was well past midnight. We drove home and I chose to wait out the time on the patio looking up at the stars. I was SO angry with God. I know that I pleaded for God to save him, but I knew given Duffy's age that it was probably hopeless. As the hours ticked on, I knew that too much time was going by without a phone call. I yelled. I screamed. I shouted. How could he take Duffy away from me now after all that I had been through? Why of all times now? I don't ever remember being so angry at God.
It was 4:00AM by the time the doctors called. They discovered that Duffy had cancer of the liver when they did the surgery. He was not responding well. We had to make the decision to put him to sleep.
After my anger with God, the next day I realized that God is a God of mercy. The situation and the alternatives became clear to me. Duffy had cancer. He had been slowing down on our walks and was starting to look old and thin. I could tell that something was wrong. With being ten years old, he was already within the standard 9-12 Golden life cycle. If he had lived, he would have suffered as the cancer would continue to take its toll. I would have never been able to watch him suffer.
That Halloween, Duffy had the perfect day. He spent the day doing what he loved the most - being with his family, walking and meeting people. When it's our time, we should all have such a perfect day.
I believe that God knows what is best for us. I also believe that God wants us to be real with him. That night on the patio, I was very real. These verses illustrate this well taken from Revelation 3:15 & 16:
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Perhaps you are angry at God for something that has happened in your life. It's okay to be angry with God, he can take it.
Find out the The Secret to Successful Prayer by visiting http://www.guidedchristianmeditation.com and signing up for my FREE weekly Ezine, The Guided Life. You will receive a copy of The Secret to Successful Prayer along with cut #1 from my meditation CD, "Be Still and Know that I am God" - Feel free to use this article with the following credit - Author: Jackie Trottmann http://www.guidedchristianmeditation.com - Transform your life through prayer, meditation and contemplative writing.
In seeking a life guided by God, I have experienced the most profound understanding of God's love for me after venting raw emotions. Take for example last summer going into the fall.
I had to have some surgery done on an out-patient basis. Everything went well and I was feeling good by the fifth day until I received a phone call. It was my eighty-eight year old mother telling me that she had fallen and had broken her wrist. I wasn't supposed to drive and fortunately, my husband, Robert, was at a rare meeting in town as opposed to being sixty miles away on a typical work day. We picked her up and took her to the emergency room. More good news was that she had broken the left wrist and she is right handed. That would be the end of the good news.
Four weeks later I received a call that my brother had collapsed on the running trail and needed to have open-heart surgery. One week after that announcement, my mother called telling me that she fell and had broken the other wrist. (No wonder I hate answering the telephone at home!)
My mother is fortunate to be healthy and live on her own. But with two broken wrists, arrangements needed to be made to put her in a care facility until she could use her arms again. So, for weeks I shuffled back and forth, doing laundry, visiting her, sometimes taking her meals, and making sure she was getting the care she needed. During this time I was also trying to launch a business.
Thank goodness I had my constant companion of ten years, Duffy the Golden Retriever. After coming home from running all of the day's errands, I would be physically and mentally exhausted. Duffy would always burst through the door to greet me with tail wagging and full of adoring love and affection. He had gotten me through the most difficult times of my life and this was ranked up there as one of the worst.
My brother came through the surgery with flying colors. After repeated visits to the nursing home, I was more confident that Mom was being taken care of and she was doing as well as could be expected. Things were starting to look up - that is until Halloween.
From a weather standpoint, It was one of the most beautiful days ever. But at 11PM that night, Duffy got sick and wanted to go outside. He tried to throw up and couldn't. When he came in, he had doubled in size. I called the animal hospital emergency room and they told me to get him in right away - that his stomach had turned. Robert and I raced the five minutes to the hospital. I wasn't crying, I was wailing. We got Duffy comfortable and were given the options. We decided to do everything to save him which would mean surgery.
I was fortunate to see him. Duffy wasn't suffering anymore and he recognized me. I got to say good-bye. I knew in my heart that he wasn't going to pull through. The doctor said they would call us in a few hours.
At this time it was well past midnight. We drove home and I chose to wait out the time on the patio looking up at the stars. I was SO angry with God. I know that I pleaded for God to save him, but I knew given Duffy's age that it was probably hopeless. As the hours ticked on, I knew that too much time was going by without a phone call. I yelled. I screamed. I shouted. How could he take Duffy away from me now after all that I had been through? Why of all times now? I don't ever remember being so angry at God.
It was 4:00AM by the time the doctors called. They discovered that Duffy had cancer of the liver when they did the surgery. He was not responding well. We had to make the decision to put him to sleep.
After my anger with God, the next day I realized that God is a God of mercy. The situation and the alternatives became clear to me. Duffy had cancer. He had been slowing down on our walks and was starting to look old and thin. I could tell that something was wrong. With being ten years old, he was already within the standard 9-12 Golden life cycle. If he had lived, he would have suffered as the cancer would continue to take its toll. I would have never been able to watch him suffer.
That Halloween, Duffy had the perfect day. He spent the day doing what he loved the most - being with his family, walking and meeting people. When it's our time, we should all have such a perfect day.
I believe that God knows what is best for us. I also believe that God wants us to be real with him. That night on the patio, I was very real. These verses illustrate this well taken from Revelation 3:15 & 16:
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth."
Perhaps you are angry at God for something that has happened in your life. It's okay to be angry with God, he can take it.
Find out the The Secret to Successful Prayer by visiting http://www.guidedchristianmeditation.com and signing up for my FREE weekly Ezine, The Guided Life. You will receive a copy of The Secret to Successful Prayer along with cut #1 from my meditation CD, "Be Still and Know that I am God" - Feel free to use this article with the following credit - Author: Jackie Trottmann http://www.guidedchristianmeditation.com - Transform your life through prayer, meditation and contemplative writing.
Friday
How To Be A Bad Mother
As I sit here and reflect on the past two days and really the past two months, I am flooded with memories of the past and present. All of these thoughts run through my head and I feel so angry and resentful. Let me say I have been mad in the past few years but in complete honesty I haven’t been quite this angry and at this point I don’t know how to begin the healing process. I am back down that road of self- awareness and concern. See this is the thing, I become angry about my raw deal and the way I have been treated but then it doesn’t end there, this is what people don’t get about me. I get angry at those who hurt me but then I also turn around and become more angry with myself for not knowing better. I refuse to listen to that inner voice that usually carries me through every hardship in life, I push it to the side and then I think there is no way you can have all this anger and a relationship with God. That will usually get me through every thing I have to go through but this time I feel it penetrating to my soul.
I am angry at everyone. That brings me to memories of my mom. I sit here and rehash so many things from the past and then I think of my relationship with my mom. I am angry with my mom, can I say that again? I am angry with her. I am angry because I feel I have no relationship with her, and to be quite frank this was the start of this anger. I do know that. Now friends that are reading this, I know I should’ve come to you and told you these things but it was something I had to go through on my own this time, but I am willing to share with you now and a lot of you know the story behind this, though you weren’t aware of the extent of my feelings at this time.
My mom was a good mom growing up before my dad left. I mean we had some issues with boyfriends, hers, and other minor things back then and I held a grudge then and let it go later on. I think right now my problem isn’t with her in the past, my problem with her now is the present. Sometimes I feel very alone, this is one of those times, but yet in the back of my mind I know I am not because I have special, very special friends who help me through every thing and I mean everything, and they remind me every single day how much they care. My family is great but you have probably noticed I talk very little of them and talk a great deal about my friends.
Yes, I am angry with my mom. Why is the question. I am angry because my mom is not my mom. I mean she is more of a friend than a mother and always has been that, and I resent any motherly advice or comments. I feel if you wasn’t what I needed back then do not bother now. So she is my friend. I sit and write these articles because this is my therapy, if I didn’t write to get it out I would be a very miserable person, you thought I was going to say crazy didn’t you! See “So Now I Am Crazy & Psychotic”, great little article! Back to my mom.
You know my mom is now married has been for awhile, I mentioned it before. Her husband hates my brother and I., always has, he is one of those men who can not accept another man’s kids, but him and my mom fit perfectly because she can’t accept another woman’s, just ask my step sisters, they could tell you. My mom always chose men over her kids and that, to this day, is the most important thing to her.
Let me tell you why I am so angry. I am not aloud to visit my mom. No one in my family is especially my brother and I. My brother and my mom have virtually no relationship. I am not aloud to call on the weekends. I am not aloud to call in the evenings when he is home. When I am talking to her on the phone and he walks in, she has to go. This is her choice. He treats her like crap she takes it for whatever reason, money etc? He never says a word to my face and doesn’t acknowledge my existence other than to complain about me, and he has made comments about my kid which really sets me off. My mom has been there for me financially but emotionally no. I feel and expect her to take care of certain things because that is all she ever did, which now brings me to my next subject.
I am a bad mother. My biggest and greatest fear is that Dakota will one day walk up to me and say, I never really had much of a relationship with you, You did all these things to me and you were a horrible mom”. I think about this a lot. One thing I prided myself on was being a semi decent mom but now I am doubting that. I have been so angry lately and I know I have taken it out on him. I have yelled at him, I’ve lost my patience with him. I have even questioned him in regards to his dad, with him getting angry at me and walking away. I feel horrible about that but then I take a look back and see all the mistakes I have made along the way.
I can tell you I am not the best mother in the world. I have argued in front of my son, I have been in physical confrontations in front of my son. I have called people names in front of him. I have watched shows on TV that were more than likely inappropriate for a kid to watch. I have told him I was going to send him to his dad’s to live before. I have said, quit being a baby. I have cussed in front of him. I have told him to shut up. Losing patience is the big one and yelling. I have talked about personal things on the phone in front of him. I could go on and on. I am a bad mother, but the worst thing I ever did was leaving him one time with his dad, to go to Arizona with no clue as to when I would return. I did come back a few days later but when I left I didn’t know how long I would be gone. I also have had to leave him with his dad when I had to move and had no where to go.
His life with me has been unstable to say the least. I am a bad mother. I have put my child second many times. I get angry with people and he gets the bad end of the deal when it comes to that. I am a bad mother. I have to say my ex husband has been Dakota’s consistent and constant. I guess he does have a reason to be angry with me. Dakota definitely does and I know in the future we will be having this conversation and I don’t know or have the tools to try to change it now. I have told him I am sorry for things after the fact. I have said that I am not a very good mom, and I have no excuses. I have none.
Dakota is such a blessing. He is the one I would live and die for, but you wouldn’t know it by my actions. He is a gift and I realized that long ago when he was born. He is a good kid but I have no idea why, it must have been his dad’s doing because I don’t think it was mine. This is not me feeling sorry for myself, this is me feeling sorry for him and others around me. I always think back at all my relationships and the significance of those and what I contributed good and bad. I always get to a point where I can let go. I always blame myself in part when they fail. I end up feeling like it is me, and maybe it is.
I can be closed off and even a loner other than my friends. I think I get that way with Dakota sometimes. I think I look at him and see this person that I love more than anything and anyone and think, as much as I love him, he will grow up one day and he will look at me the way others do, and I know I am not going to be good enough. He will turn his back on me and then I will have lost everything. I will be alone then. I know I do that and the kid is 7 yrs old, but I am already thinking he is one day going to leave me when he can. This pisses me off!
I do not have a right to treat my kid in any way but how a child should be treated with love, most importantly, he needs to be cared for, to know his parents and family love and support him that they will always be there backing him and leading him, always there to pick him up when he falls, and to always just be. I guess maybe I am selfish.
I apologize Dakota and I promise you son from this day forward I am going to do better, me doing my best which I thought was good enough just isn’t. I want the very best life for you I imaginable and it starting with your childhood.
I am so sorry for all the things I have done or haven’t done. I am sorry you had to go through any pain at all in your life but especially for the pain I have caused and if you come to me one day and tell me of the things I did that hurt, I will do all that is possible to take a step forward with you and to keep on treading that path. I will also do my best from here on out to fix what I have done and to not do what I shouldn’t.
You don’t know how important you are to me and if you do know it is ten times more so then that. I need you in my life. I always wanted you and I always will love you. You are a gift, a blessing, you are the world to me. I am so proud of you. I am so happy to have you in my life and you make my life worthwhile. My time spent with you is the best times ever. You make me laugh.
My life involving you has made me a better person and hopefully one day it will make me a better mother. I did my best but now I want more than that for you. I am so sorry. I do love you more than my own life and that love will never fade, never change, and you will never ever have to be second to anyone when it comes to me. You will never be an outsider and no one, not one person, would ever take your place in my heart. I love you more than words!
Vaughn Pascal
I am angry at everyone. That brings me to memories of my mom. I sit here and rehash so many things from the past and then I think of my relationship with my mom. I am angry with my mom, can I say that again? I am angry with her. I am angry because I feel I have no relationship with her, and to be quite frank this was the start of this anger. I do know that. Now friends that are reading this, I know I should’ve come to you and told you these things but it was something I had to go through on my own this time, but I am willing to share with you now and a lot of you know the story behind this, though you weren’t aware of the extent of my feelings at this time.
My mom was a good mom growing up before my dad left. I mean we had some issues with boyfriends, hers, and other minor things back then and I held a grudge then and let it go later on. I think right now my problem isn’t with her in the past, my problem with her now is the present. Sometimes I feel very alone, this is one of those times, but yet in the back of my mind I know I am not because I have special, very special friends who help me through every thing and I mean everything, and they remind me every single day how much they care. My family is great but you have probably noticed I talk very little of them and talk a great deal about my friends.
Yes, I am angry with my mom. Why is the question. I am angry because my mom is not my mom. I mean she is more of a friend than a mother and always has been that, and I resent any motherly advice or comments. I feel if you wasn’t what I needed back then do not bother now. So she is my friend. I sit and write these articles because this is my therapy, if I didn’t write to get it out I would be a very miserable person, you thought I was going to say crazy didn’t you! See “So Now I Am Crazy & Psychotic”, great little article! Back to my mom.
You know my mom is now married has been for awhile, I mentioned it before. Her husband hates my brother and I., always has, he is one of those men who can not accept another man’s kids, but him and my mom fit perfectly because she can’t accept another woman’s, just ask my step sisters, they could tell you. My mom always chose men over her kids and that, to this day, is the most important thing to her.
Let me tell you why I am so angry. I am not aloud to visit my mom. No one in my family is especially my brother and I. My brother and my mom have virtually no relationship. I am not aloud to call on the weekends. I am not aloud to call in the evenings when he is home. When I am talking to her on the phone and he walks in, she has to go. This is her choice. He treats her like crap she takes it for whatever reason, money etc? He never says a word to my face and doesn’t acknowledge my existence other than to complain about me, and he has made comments about my kid which really sets me off. My mom has been there for me financially but emotionally no. I feel and expect her to take care of certain things because that is all she ever did, which now brings me to my next subject.
I am a bad mother. My biggest and greatest fear is that Dakota will one day walk up to me and say, I never really had much of a relationship with you, You did all these things to me and you were a horrible mom”. I think about this a lot. One thing I prided myself on was being a semi decent mom but now I am doubting that. I have been so angry lately and I know I have taken it out on him. I have yelled at him, I’ve lost my patience with him. I have even questioned him in regards to his dad, with him getting angry at me and walking away. I feel horrible about that but then I take a look back and see all the mistakes I have made along the way.
I can tell you I am not the best mother in the world. I have argued in front of my son, I have been in physical confrontations in front of my son. I have called people names in front of him. I have watched shows on TV that were more than likely inappropriate for a kid to watch. I have told him I was going to send him to his dad’s to live before. I have said, quit being a baby. I have cussed in front of him. I have told him to shut up. Losing patience is the big one and yelling. I have talked about personal things on the phone in front of him. I could go on and on. I am a bad mother, but the worst thing I ever did was leaving him one time with his dad, to go to Arizona with no clue as to when I would return. I did come back a few days later but when I left I didn’t know how long I would be gone. I also have had to leave him with his dad when I had to move and had no where to go.
His life with me has been unstable to say the least. I am a bad mother. I have put my child second many times. I get angry with people and he gets the bad end of the deal when it comes to that. I am a bad mother. I have to say my ex husband has been Dakota’s consistent and constant. I guess he does have a reason to be angry with me. Dakota definitely does and I know in the future we will be having this conversation and I don’t know or have the tools to try to change it now. I have told him I am sorry for things after the fact. I have said that I am not a very good mom, and I have no excuses. I have none.
Dakota is such a blessing. He is the one I would live and die for, but you wouldn’t know it by my actions. He is a gift and I realized that long ago when he was born. He is a good kid but I have no idea why, it must have been his dad’s doing because I don’t think it was mine. This is not me feeling sorry for myself, this is me feeling sorry for him and others around me. I always think back at all my relationships and the significance of those and what I contributed good and bad. I always get to a point where I can let go. I always blame myself in part when they fail. I end up feeling like it is me, and maybe it is.
I can be closed off and even a loner other than my friends. I think I get that way with Dakota sometimes. I think I look at him and see this person that I love more than anything and anyone and think, as much as I love him, he will grow up one day and he will look at me the way others do, and I know I am not going to be good enough. He will turn his back on me and then I will have lost everything. I will be alone then. I know I do that and the kid is 7 yrs old, but I am already thinking he is one day going to leave me when he can. This pisses me off!
I do not have a right to treat my kid in any way but how a child should be treated with love, most importantly, he needs to be cared for, to know his parents and family love and support him that they will always be there backing him and leading him, always there to pick him up when he falls, and to always just be. I guess maybe I am selfish.
I apologize Dakota and I promise you son from this day forward I am going to do better, me doing my best which I thought was good enough just isn’t. I want the very best life for you I imaginable and it starting with your childhood.
I am so sorry for all the things I have done or haven’t done. I am sorry you had to go through any pain at all in your life but especially for the pain I have caused and if you come to me one day and tell me of the things I did that hurt, I will do all that is possible to take a step forward with you and to keep on treading that path. I will also do my best from here on out to fix what I have done and to not do what I shouldn’t.
You don’t know how important you are to me and if you do know it is ten times more so then that. I need you in my life. I always wanted you and I always will love you. You are a gift, a blessing, you are the world to me. I am so proud of you. I am so happy to have you in my life and you make my life worthwhile. My time spent with you is the best times ever. You make me laugh.
My life involving you has made me a better person and hopefully one day it will make me a better mother. I did my best but now I want more than that for you. I am so sorry. I do love you more than my own life and that love will never fade, never change, and you will never ever have to be second to anyone when it comes to me. You will never be an outsider and no one, not one person, would ever take your place in my heart. I love you more than words!
Vaughn Pascal
Cherish Those Days When You Feel Good...
You ever wake up one day and notice that you feel good all over. Its a blessing in disguise! You go through the day picking up things, cleaning stuff, organizing old things, and talking about a little of this and that with family and friends. You just feel good! Well what if we could feel like that all the time? That's where the Bible, self-improvement books, blogs, radio talk shows, and the neighbor down the street come in, we all have tips to share about feeling good. But the truth is that it can be a challenge to utilize everybody's advice in the face of difficulties.
I will be the first to admit that inadequate sleep will affect my mood before any person or situation does. Sometimes I am aware and other times I am not. On the days I have awaken feeling good about life I must say a good night rest had alot to do with it. Now as the day grows old things will affect my mood, but at least I did one very important thing and that was scale back my bedtime.
The next I try to do is break for a meal. Now I know that if I don't eat I will get an attitude about the littlest of things. Sometimes we think that by skipping meals we are making head way, but eventually it catches up to us. Its like the guy who is driving real fast along a street, passes you by, and then when he gets in front of you he has to wait for a stoplight. You catch up to him, he takes off again, and then he has to wait for another stoplight. What's with the big rush and endangering people's lives in the process? Meanwhile, he gets to his destination and chances are he didn't miss anything worthwhile. We do the same thing, we put in the time to get it all done while hurting those we love in the process, is it really worth it?
I am learning daily that the best way to combat the angry, frustrating feelings that creep up on me during the day due to surprises, shocking information, blood sugar and hormones, and the way others treat me is to shorten my reaction to it. In other words, don't think, talk or be around it for too long. Take the needed walk, pill or meal I need to bring the hormones back in balance.
Sometimes we are very good about making sure the children and the man are fed and get to bed at a decent hour, but what about us? Then we get angry with everyone else for how they treat us when we are not caring for ourselves like we should. The doctor says exercise, take this pill, eat this food, and what do we do? Get caught up in our daily responsibilities and forget about what we need to do to feel good about ourselves.
Have you ever noticed how many parenting guides encourage parents to use time outs on children misbehaving? Well, as parents, sometimes we need to go to time out for our misbehaving. Did we go off on our partner today? Time out! Did we curse at the children? Time out! Did we tell the sales clerk off? Time out! Did we lie to the boss because we didn't feel like doing something? Time out! When we get bombarded with lots of negativity that cause problems for others or things that people do to us, take a time out.
Uh oh...while I am typing, I forgot to take my vitamins, better do that...don't need a time out on my back!
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
I will be the first to admit that inadequate sleep will affect my mood before any person or situation does. Sometimes I am aware and other times I am not. On the days I have awaken feeling good about life I must say a good night rest had alot to do with it. Now as the day grows old things will affect my mood, but at least I did one very important thing and that was scale back my bedtime.
The next I try to do is break for a meal. Now I know that if I don't eat I will get an attitude about the littlest of things. Sometimes we think that by skipping meals we are making head way, but eventually it catches up to us. Its like the guy who is driving real fast along a street, passes you by, and then when he gets in front of you he has to wait for a stoplight. You catch up to him, he takes off again, and then he has to wait for another stoplight. What's with the big rush and endangering people's lives in the process? Meanwhile, he gets to his destination and chances are he didn't miss anything worthwhile. We do the same thing, we put in the time to get it all done while hurting those we love in the process, is it really worth it?
I am learning daily that the best way to combat the angry, frustrating feelings that creep up on me during the day due to surprises, shocking information, blood sugar and hormones, and the way others treat me is to shorten my reaction to it. In other words, don't think, talk or be around it for too long. Take the needed walk, pill or meal I need to bring the hormones back in balance.
Sometimes we are very good about making sure the children and the man are fed and get to bed at a decent hour, but what about us? Then we get angry with everyone else for how they treat us when we are not caring for ourselves like we should. The doctor says exercise, take this pill, eat this food, and what do we do? Get caught up in our daily responsibilities and forget about what we need to do to feel good about ourselves.
Have you ever noticed how many parenting guides encourage parents to use time outs on children misbehaving? Well, as parents, sometimes we need to go to time out for our misbehaving. Did we go off on our partner today? Time out! Did we curse at the children? Time out! Did we tell the sales clerk off? Time out! Did we lie to the boss because we didn't feel like doing something? Time out! When we get bombarded with lots of negativity that cause problems for others or things that people do to us, take a time out.
Uh oh...while I am typing, I forgot to take my vitamins, better do that...don't need a time out on my back!
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Monday
6 Essential Tips For Working Mothers
"A mother's work is never done" (sigh). Just when you think you're through, you find you've only just begun. You aren’t the only one!
If the pressure of balancing your work and parenting is ultimately leading you to give both your work and family less, it is time to find a new parenting strategy and quick! When a work from home mom decides to set clear boundaries and manage her time effectively she can dramatically reduce parenting stress and boost her parenting joy. So let’s get started.
Six Essential Work Life Survival Parenting Tips for the Work at Home Mom (WAHM)
Your happiness as a work at home mom (WAHM) depends on your commitment to following these six parenting time management tips:
1. Ban your open door policy. Set your work hours and stick with them. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom (WAHM) has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions and stick with this schedule.
2. Involve your family in what you do. Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. One work at home mom I know asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called in sick, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back.
3. Consciously make the transition from work to home. When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute cat nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.
4. Remember it's about quality time, not quantity time. When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.
5. Solve misbehavior time-wasters. As a family counselor, I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).
6. Schedule your self-care time. The most critical key to your WAHM success is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for you. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.
By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that your self-care became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.
The six parenting time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!
Kelly Nault-Matzen, M.A., is a corporate spokesperson, mother and wife, family counselor and founder of http://UltimateParent.Com —a company that provides parenting resources such as the Mommy Moments online parenting course. To gain access to more parenting tools visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com
If the pressure of balancing your work and parenting is ultimately leading you to give both your work and family less, it is time to find a new parenting strategy and quick! When a work from home mom decides to set clear boundaries and manage her time effectively she can dramatically reduce parenting stress and boost her parenting joy. So let’s get started.
Six Essential Work Life Survival Parenting Tips for the Work at Home Mom (WAHM)
Your happiness as a work at home mom (WAHM) depends on your commitment to following these six parenting time management tips:
1. Ban your open door policy. Set your work hours and stick with them. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom (WAHM) has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions and stick with this schedule.
2. Involve your family in what you do. Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. One work at home mom I know asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called in sick, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back.
3. Consciously make the transition from work to home. When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute cat nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.
4. Remember it's about quality time, not quantity time. When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.
5. Solve misbehavior time-wasters. As a family counselor, I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).
6. Schedule your self-care time. The most critical key to your WAHM success is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for you. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.
By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that your self-care became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.
The six parenting time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!
Kelly Nault-Matzen, M.A., is a corporate spokesperson, mother and wife, family counselor and founder of http://UltimateParent.Com —a company that provides parenting resources such as the Mommy Moments online parenting course. To gain access to more parenting tools visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com
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When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on book by Nicholl McGuire, When Mothers Cry.
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