I Wouldn’t Hurt My Child, But You I Would: When Mom Needs Joy

There is a mother somewhere who is taking out her frustration on being a parent on others almost on a daily basis.  “I wouldn’t hurt my child…” so she says, but when it comes to everyone else, “But you, I would!”  Well that is an entirely different story.

Not happy with how her life turned out, a young mother cries for attention, affection, and a host of other things.  But the one thing she needs the most, she can’t get from men, women, children, and things.  “And what might that be,” you ask? Joy!  An overwhelming emotion that sticks around longer than happiness even when the baby is crying, her man is complaining, and other children and relatives have all kinds of issues, all that mother wants is some joy!  Oh sure peace is nice, but joy is contagious.

So how does she get some joy?  Joy doesn’t come overnight and you can’t get it by periodic church attendance or saying a quick prayer every now and then.   In my personal experience, I have felt the presence of joy come into my life and linger when I could wrap my mind around my purpose for living, coupled with a serious self-chat about my reactions to any and all people and things and then summed up to thoughts and study of my eternal destiny complete with our Creator while envisioning a future void of all my current responsibilities.  Sit back for a moment, re-read then ponder.  

It is an awesome thing to reach a point in your life where all these challenges you go through will pass.  You don’t doubt this concept, you don’t debate it, and you don’t whine about it—all issues will pass!  The child can’t scream his or her head off forever.  The man can’t be a grump forever.  Relatives and friends can’t have grudges, dramas, and more for always.  The storms in this life will pass away!  So what are you going to do in the meantime?  Act like the meanest, nastiest, evilest woman on this earth while acting like an angel with your child (as if he or she isn’t watching how you treat others).

For the woman, who appears to be okay with her personal life, but in a storm with everyone else, nothing passes away in her world.  There is always someone or something getting the best of her emotions if it isn’t her husband, it is the neighbor, the store clerk, even what she might call “The Man Upstairs!”   The photos of her deceased relatives, who she proudly displays throughout her home, look at her sometimes as if talking to her from the other side, “Get a grip!  You love your kid too much.  What’s going to happen when he/she goes away?  You still have to face the rest of society.  Keep acting the way you are and you will end up killing yourself or being killed!”
 

The ugliness of the past continues to haunt her every time she passes mom’s photo, dad’s, sister’s, brother’s (sigh).  She fights with herself and her partner over unresolved issues.  She never wanted to be responsible for the next generation, but she encourages herself by saying, “There is nothing I can do about my surprise/mistake/miracle/blessing, so I will just love this child anyway, but I don’t have to love everyone else!” 

 

The mother who hasn’t managed to be at peace with her motherhood role somehow warps what is supposed to be a half logical, half creative mind in such a way where she isn’t mad with self, child or sometimes even the man she has had the baby with, but society, her childhood, relatives, and others are to blame.  But none of these people were in the bed with her and her lover when she procreated, right?  Wrong!  The mother had brought all her baggage into her lovemaking session in the hopes that she would be free of all that was wrong with her, but to no avail.  For some, even the act of a sexual release when the child was created was sub par. 

 

Mom is often angry and it doesn’t take much to set her off.  “What now?  Who do you think you are?  I will hurt you about my family!” she yells at a stranger.  Does she even care about her family that much?

It all appears normal at first, her life.  Spending time with a mother with her misplaced anger issues eventually show up and show out!  Of course, we wouldn’t want her to take her frustrations out on her family, but she shouldn’t get so upset with others because she has yet to recognize what is really bothering her about her role. 

Maybe there are some unfulfilled dreams and this mother’s current responsibilities are keeping her from achieving them.  Could she also be fighting a situation that is a no-win battle with herself or a partner, but is too busy or too fearful to deal with the issues? 

Whatever her problem, the rest of the world has very little time, patience, or even love to put up with this kind of mother who loves her baby, but hates everyone else.  So when she acts irate, irrational, or carries other negative emotions, the world will deal with her in such a way that she has no choice but to face her personal demons or die.  Yes, it is just that simple.  Face the ugly truth about one’s choices in this life and how you intend to obtain that unspeakable joy.  “I wasn’t ready for this baby or this man!  I need an escape!  Help me Lord!” are issues that must be dealt with spiritually above everything else.

The minute a bitter mother with misplaced anger issues sees the light, she will then find the freedom that she needs to grow and go wherever her personal Savior is instructing her.  Will there be judgmental, mean-spirited, ignorant people along the way as she embarks on her journey toward joy? Of course.  It is then that her anger will be justified and in its proper place.

Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and creator of hub entitled, "How to Be Nice to Rude People"