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Wednesday

Summer Break with the Kiddos Gettin' to You Yet?

Oh the joy of summer!  Kids staying up late and sleeping in (sometimes).  "What are we going to do today?  Are we going to Toys R Us?  I want to go to the movies...Do you think we can go to...?"  Those requests to do everything that costs money (sigh).


The other day I looked at my sons, they grew again.  The pjs on one child was like Michael Jackson's skinny pants in the 80s.  The elder child's head seemed to get bigger along with his vocabulary.  He's 8 years old with an idea and a plan to crowdsource one of his projects.  Why do I get the feeling that his business will surpass mine by leaps and bounds when he gets started?  I think I might be working for him soon.


With long school breaks, a parent has to acquire more patience, strategies on keeping children busy (if you can't drop them off at a daycare or with relatives).  Funny, I bumped into one of the childcare specialists at the library who watched my children last year while I worked outside the home.  She was happy to see us and gave me a couple tips on getting them off to a good start this summer.  I was ready to pass them on to her like a track runner slapping a baton into his teammate's hand that day.  Instead, I smiled and told her, "Thanks for the tips."


So far we have summer weekdays that are made up of the following: time to eat, time to eat again, time to do chores, time to play, time to be quiet, time to go out and run, time to learn something new, time to go here and there, time to take care of business, time to eat again, time to eat again, time to...well you get the point.  I almost forgot, there are some things that I do to make life a little less stressful with the children.  They are as follows:


1.  No picking up the phone when I'm already busy with them and everything else.  I really don't like having to keep others entertained when I have much to do.  They can hear the stress in my voice, and for a few folks, they take that sort of thing personal.  Texting is okay, but I am careful with that too.  Sometimes the messages can come across like you are angry or something.  So if I know my children are not engrossed in something, I don't pick up the phone.  Also, I put me first during those tough times if you know what I mean. Kids don't have a clue what ladies' issues consist of, so some stuff they want to do is put on hold until I can get myself together.  "Hey kids you know women have some problems and sometimes they have to sit down, so go play quietly and if you do good we might do something on another day."  They have a look of concern and then they are gone--they know better.


2.  I have little patience for cooking large meals and I don't like going into the kitchen as often as they eat.  So I trained the 7 and 8 year old to get some snacks in between meals without my assistance. (FYI - Hide your knives.  You will also need to instruct them on what it is forbidden to touch.  I still watch them moving around in the kitchen even when they think I'm not looking).


3.  All computers and mobile devices are monitored with family safety tools.  So I don't have to stand over them like a drill sergeant.


4.  Television is limited to a certain time period.  FYI - check for the timer feature that will shut it off.  (Note: you can do the same using Internet safety products i.e.) Microsoft Family Safety.


5.  Take those kids out so that they can run around.  A wide open space is a blessing even if it doesn't have any playground equipment.


6.  Put a limit on children playing in the same room together.  They get tired of one another.  So if they share a room, separate them.  One can go in a different room with his favorite toys while the other can stay in the room for some time (set an alarm).  Stick to this for awhile and they will get used to it.  If you have other rooms, use those too.


7.  Make enough food so you have leftovers--cooking everyday?  Not me.  If you love it, good for you, but I prefer to do other things besides spending time in the kitchen while my kids are planning to wreck havoc elsewhere--I don't think so.  Watch those kids!


Well I wish nothing but the best for you and the family this remaining summer.  Don't forget to steal some time for yourself!
God bless.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
So summer break with the kiddos is what it is, I'm doing the best I can.  What else can I say?

Friday

Mother Manipulation - Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

At some time during your life, someone or a group of people close to you will do something that will leave you speechless.  You will be angered, disappointed, resentful, and might even vow revenge.  The last thing you want is to have to cut off your mother, mother-in-law, or some one else because of their wicked ways, but it happens.


In the book, "Tell Me Mother You're Sorry" this a book that exposes the playbook of manipulative mothers.  If you have felt uneasy about your mother or in-law and thought about going low or no contact, then this is a book for you.  Let's face it, most prideful women are not going to apologize especially if they don't believe they are wrong about anything.  Some who do might be sincere, while others not so much. 


The truth that this book brings to the reader will cause you to think about yourself and how you or someone else you know might be using some negative behaviors to get needs met from sons and daughters.  As strange as it seems, sometimes the very challenges we have with women in our lives, we can be just as guilty!


So do take a moment to check out "Tell Me Mother You're Sorry" by Nicholl McGuire.  I really hope that you will feel validated when you read the book and just know that your peace is just around the corner if you want it! 


The inspiration for this book is credited to my late grandmother.  She unfortunately passed away before this book was complete.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.  For the copy of the book, see here.

Wednesday

When They Say You Act Like Your Mother

Just when you thought you were your own person, independent, strong and free of parental programming, a long comes someone who knows your mother and out comes, "You act just like your mother..."  Depending on your relationship with her, you are offended by this comment.  You might retort, "Don't say that!  I am not my mother!"  The truth is we all have a little bit of our mothers and possibly grandmothers in us.  But we don't have to embrace all that comes with these women either!

Let's just say that you might say and do things that do remind others that you are your mother's child, and those ways are not good.  Then it would make sense to work to change them.  Talking to Mom everyday or visiting with her is not going to help you self improve.  Instead, what you will find is that the behaviors you don't like about your mother r yourself will only be reinforced.  If you don't want to be like someone, it would make sense to create some distance so that you can discover who you want to be and not what Mother says you should be.

When the voice of your mother shows up to criticize, abuse, control, or tell you about your new self n progress, tell that voice, "I will not receive that today...No, I am not going to do or say that...My mother would have, but not me..."  Practice redirecting your thoughts everyday.  Read items your mother would never look at, go places she wouldn't visit, see things she would turn her nose up at, broaden your horizons!

The next time someone says, "You act just like your mother!"  Respond with, "I might, but I am working to change that."

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry on Blurb.com 

Saturday

How to Get Some Sleep When You Have a Newborn

Be Encouraged! Throwback: Fantasia - Baby Mama

There is More to Talk About Besides Being a Mother - Don't Want to Talk About the Kids

Sometimes as mothers we reach points during our day where we don't want to say another thing to our kids or talk about them to anyone not even our spouses.  It can be tiresome.  Some don't understand why and others think we want to hear about their kids.

If you have experienced something like this or feel this way now, "Please, I just don't want to talk about my kids..." don't worry you are not alone and it doesn't mean you love your kids any less because you don't want to share another picture, video, or conversation with someone about them for awhile.  Just like one can get burned out with talking about certain relatives, news, celebrities, and more, one can also get tired of talking about children.

I thought of this topic when I read an article about what childless or childfree women wanted mothers to know.  Some of these ladies have their issues with mothers talking to them about why they don't have children.  From the writing, you can detect a couple women just didn't want to keep talking about their private business.

So I end with this,  just because we all wear some kind of title such as: "Mother, Single Woman, Divorced, Married, Childfree, Childless..." doesn't mean we want to share every personal detail about it or answer every question that someone poses, especially on days when it is simply challenging enough being a woman.

Here's ideas on some alternative conversations that have nothing to do with children unless you redirect the topics back to your children.

1.  So how's things coming along with your job, hobby, craft, business, projects...?

2.  I heard about your spouse/friend/relative how is she/he?

3.  How do you feel?

4.  What have you watched lately on television?  Which shows are your favorite?

5.  Do you have any favorite songs, musicians?

6.  Where did you go recently to unwind or where are you thinking of going?

7.  Do you have any personal plans for the upcoming holiday?

8.  When was the last time you visited the mall?  Did you buy anything?

9.  What do you think of the (mention something that happened in the news)?  You didn't see it?  Let me catch you up to date?

10.  Have you been to (fill in the blank)?  If you would like to go, I'm free on....

Mom will thank you for the good conversation and getting away from the children sooner or later. God bless.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight about relationship, spirituality, family, business and more here.


Wednesday

Narcissistic Parents Cause Us To Feel Frozen Emotionally - Lisa A. Romano

Too Much Government Control Over Your Children from School Lunches to Trauma Based Mind Control

This has been an issue for some parents lately, judgmental cafeteria workers and teachers remarking to children at lunch time what is considered "healthy" and what isn't then talking them out of eating their lunches.  I personally have a child now who no longer wants sandwiches in his lunch thanks to the negative comments about his sweet and salty snacks (like chips and a fruit snack) from aides.  The so-called "I care" speeches turned him off.  Now he periodically (not often) eats the school lunches, but he also has some snacks just in case he doesn't want them. 

I first dealt with this issue of unhealthy school lunches when my youngest son was in Pre-K.  I had packed a sandwich (turkey breast sometimes ham) snack size apples and a couple of treats.  He told me about "What the cafeteria worker said..." when he came home that afternoon.  "She didn't want me eating that..." and pointed to a couple of small cookies.  I told my son that he could eat whatever I put in his bag.  I guess he told the worker the next day and we had no future issues.

I said the following in the past offline, and I will say it again here, the more power you give school officials, the more they will exercise it on children!  You go about your day thinking that all is well at the school, and then before long there is a note in your child's hand talking about what the teacher wants, the principal needs, what the guidelines are for an illogical school project, what holidays are being celebrated, etc.  Meanwhile, many of these notes have NOTHING to do with educating your child on the essentials, but you have been brainwashed to believe otherwise.  If I told you that a program it is "healthy, good, smart, unique, cutting-edge, successful" and it was decorated in beautiful wrapping and served to you on a 24K gold tray, you would most likely open the box, reveal about how beautiful the tray was, but then learn the hard way that the tray melts into mud and out of the box pops up a rattlesnake!  Many of these programs are just like an appealing gift box, but in time you see the side effects and quickly realize you are ill-equipped to handle that child who is out of control with his or her mouth, thinking, eating, etc.

Although helpful to your child's upbringing, this talk about nutritious meals served during lunch is helpful, but what isn't right is dictating something as personal as meals and listing everything "fun" that a child eats as unacceptable.  Meanwhile, the school has parties and encourages parents to donate, serve and finance their junk food list.  Dye for eggs to celebrate Dr. Seuss Day.  Jelly beans and marshmallow rabbits with honor given to an imaginary Easter rabbit.  Goodies for a pointy-eared Leprechaun.  Valentine sweethearts, gummy bears, sugar packs, etc. for classmates.  Edible cookies with a decoration of a FAT man in a red suit named Santa.  Now is that false god eating healthy? 

So what about this holiday education and celebrations that aren't always acknowledged at every one's homes being forced down our throats year after year by teachers?  A well-managed way to lull the masses to sleep early on about the issues that really matter like:  protests over fracking, new government laws, shady politicians, overseas mayhem with American involvement, deaths on our streets connected to bigger agendas, etc.  What bother when you need to get to the store and buy those eggs to decorate?  Why do much for community when you are overwhelmed with school activities, work or both?  What about the traumatic events of American history that isn't necessary to discuss in detail to elementary school students, yet used to split the mind?  What about sex education about all sorts of partnerships, so that the future generations will be less likely to procreate, and more?

Why throw so much at children and parents in the name of "education" and why accept everything that is thrown your way, Parents?  Look a little closer at the teachers' plans next school year.  Ask to see curriculum.  Write notes about anything that isn't sitting right with you.  Tell the teacher from the start of the year about the kind of parent you are and what you expect.  Rally support of other parents--outside of the close watch of the PTA.  Notice how major changes suggested by concerned parents at some of those meetings are quickly shot down between requests for more money and time "...to help the school."

School lunches are in your control whether you have little or a lot of money.  The government stepped in because far too many parents are letting children get obese, and besides they are assisting by giving many families help on their food bills.  So when you take government aid expect to be managed.  Some parents need to wake up and realize that many children nowadays aren't carrying around any baby fat, that is unhealthy weight they are feeding with junk food.  Many kids aren't doing much but sitting in front of devices with screens after school and on weekends and you can see it!  When many parents let their children's weight get out of control, someone/group will control it for them.

The more parents refuse to parent, the more groups, who feel they need to parent, will walk into schools and enforce rules.

Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
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This freelance writer, author, wife, and mother of four has been writing for almost 20 years about a wide variety of topics ranging from spiritual experiences to self-improvement products. Nicholl has also been a leasing consultant for multi-family dwelling complexes and an events planner in Euclid OH. During 2004 she relocated to San Diego CA and continued leasing apartments to singles and families. In 2006, she became a community manager at an elderly housing complex in downtown Los Angeles. Since then she has been working as a writer from home. Nicholl self-published her first book entitled, "Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate." For more information about the book visit Amazon.com She has another book also on Amazon, entitled, "When Mothers Cry" as well as other books. For more of her work, feel free to stop by Blurb.com. There she has creative photo and journal books. If you have benefited in any way from Nicholl's writing, please do take a moment to show support, buy any one of her books, share her posts, subscribe or comment. Be blessed!

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