Today’s mother most likely isn't one, her
mother may have been one, and her grandmother most likely was one.
Every woman and man should experience being a homemaker at least once
in his or her life. It is a job unlike no other. A new
appreciation, respect, and a love for his or her sister carrying this
role will arise. One who has experienced staying at home will come
to understand the sacrifices that her mother, grandmother or great
grandmother had to make to become everything to everyone. Who will
clean and organize the household, prepare meals, care for the spouse
and children, run errands for the elderly in the family, attend
teacher conferences and follow up with doctor’s appointments? So
many things to do and so little time to do them when you are working
outside the home.
Today’s mother and father have missed
out on so much or have they? It all depends on whom you talk to, for
some women and men, they have to work. It isn’t an option. He or
she doesn’t want to miss out on his or her children’s development
or the last memories of their ailing parent, but these are sacrifices
one has to make. The working parent may covet the homemaker’s
position, but he or she shouldn’t since there are pros and cons to
working just as there are pros and cons to staying at home.
Being a homemaker has been the only job
title that has stood the tests of time and it is the least
appreciated position. Do you have what it takes to become one? The
advice and questions to follow will challenge your thinking and help
you determine whether this is an occupation for you.
Most women find themselves seeking the
homemaker position not usually by choice. Unanticipated life
circumstances usually throw many women and men into this role. A
recent job loss, unexpected pregnancy, or illness, are just a few
reasons why people become homemakers. Unfortunately it isn’t a
coveted position by most people mainly because they know that to
become a homemaker means to give up money in exchange for increase
responsibility that may involve caring for crying babies, challenged
children, or ailing relatives.
Besides giving up money, one’s social
life is also sacrificed. There isn’t a ready support system
available to a homemaker during those lonely afternoons, or an
endless flow of money. The reality is he or she may have an ongoing
battle inside their minds between going to work and being at home.
They may be experiencing the tears of frustration that no one knows
about because there just isn’t enough money, free time for oneself,
patience to one day pursue a dream, or planning for more problems
ahead. No one knows these feelings nor cares as much as other
homemakers. The working spouse doesn’t always empathize because in
their minds they are faced with their own set of challenges and to
some they think it is easy being at home, “so what are you
complaining about?”
The women who become homemakers by
choice have coveted this position, because being away from children
and other responsibilities has become a heavy burden on their minds.
They most often have created a financial plan with their spouse that
will allow for them to stay at home. Yet, for many people this just
isn’t the case. Instead, they are burdened with a plan of escape.
How do I get back on track to get a job? When will I have the time
to interview? How will my working impact the family?
Since many of you reading this may be
considering the homemaker position, here’s what you need to know.
Don’t expect your spouse or mate to
always be “okay” about your staying at home. They may appear to
be that way in the beginning, but in time they will be thinking of
how much money they may be giving you and will want to use that money
for whatever they are hoping to achieve. It’s unfortunate but for
some mate’s “okay” has its time limit. Every now and then
check in with them to find out if they are still okay with you not
working.
Have you and your mate discussed
putting money away for your retirement? When you stay at home there
is usually no money put aside for your own retirement. Many women
have had to face this problem later in life and live on very little
because no one bothered to think about the future.
Can you really afford to stay home? If
you are use to living a certain way of life and spending your own
money, then this is not a position for you. In the beginning, you
will find that it is a nice vacation being at home if you don’t
have too much responsibility. However, it gets old quick when you
look through a magazine or see something on television that you
really want and you can’t buy it.
Know that everyone won’t be happy for
you staying at home. Some of your family and friends may appear that
they are happy about your sacrifice, but they may not. Be careful of
who you pick to join your support system If you have a relative or
friend working that would rather be home, they will feed into those
negative moments when you are feeling down about staying at home and
discourage you.
Desires will come to want to make time
for your self. When you can, obey those desires. Don’t try to
play the super man or woman role by being available to everyone all
of the time. Some of the consequences to not listening to your self
when it needs “me time” are feelings of resentment, negative
attitudes, illness and sudden mood swings.
You will become jealous from time to
time about others’ social lives. Those feelings will manifest at
times when your spouse or someone close to you tells you stories
about their social life. You will miss those times you spent with
co-workers going to lunch, parties, and other events. Some times you
can curb those feelings by simply doing something for yourself and
getting together with old friends.
Don’t be ashamed of what you do.
People will criticize your choice by making negative comments.
Defend what you do and be proud of it. Focus on the pros about
staying at home. Just think, you know what is going on with your
family daily. You can spend time with your children whenever you
want. If you want to spend all day at the beach you can. If you
want to start your own business, your schedule is flexible. When
someone needs you, you can be there without answering to a boss. You
can catch up on hobbies. Take up a new interest. Watch daytime
television. There are perks for staying at home contrary to the brainwashing of the media and others who seek to benefit when a mother doesn't stay at home with children.
Nicholl McGuire
