Birthday Bondage & other Holidays Discussed, YouTube Tips Too

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years - How I Avoided the Holidays for Over a Decade

You would think a wife and mother of four sons would be all in for the holidays year after year after year.   Throw in the in-laws and one's own family and now you have a cesspool of money spent, stress levels reaching unknown levels, and some of you all know the rest.  But I avoided all of that for over a decade and here's how I did it.

1)  I stated my thoughts about the holiday season and let people know upfront I didn't have the time or money to acknowledge their requests for gifts.  My reasons for not celebrating ranged from spiritual to financial.

2)  I didn't encourage my children to ask myself or others for gifts.  Why would I do that when I was already meeting their needs throughout the year?  If they wanted anything they could ask other times of the year rather than burden others during a time when they were already financially strapped.  Those narcissistic individuals could never blame us that we were selfish, ungrateful, greedy, or needy after the holidays like they did with others.

3)  I didn't accept invites to holiday gatherings nor did I volunteer my services when I knew full well that holidays wasn't my thing.

4)  I redirected my money toward bills that needed to be paid and timed large payments and payoffs accordingly so that I wouldn't be tempted to buy anything during the holiday season.

5)  I didn't spend my hard-earned money decorating the halls while the fathers (two) of my children held on to theirs for personal spending and retirement.

6)  I made no promises or commitment to anyone that I would be buying anything for them now or in the future.

7)  I made myself unavailable to receive phone calls near that time so that I wouldn't be guilted by the manipulative ones about being a Scrooge, mean or whatever other label they put on me.  Too much disrespect, so-called joking, and I cut them off.

You can utilize these tips and find peace for you and your household in the short and/or long term.  It isn't going to be easy implementing most of these tips in your life when you have already spoiled everyone with your gift-giving.  However, once you start setting boundaries early on, you will find that you aren't stressed like others during the holiday season.  Besides, one of the major things I did (save the best for last) was I prayed and allowed God to direct my steps.  Of course, you won't be immune to the holiday planning, gift-giving, and other things that occur year after year for always, but what you will escape is the drama and trauma brought on by self and others during the holidays because you simply choose to rise above it while moving far away from idol worship!

Happy holidays!

Nicholl McGuire

Halloween Fun and Foolishness

I didn't see puberty coming.  It came too fast! Two of my four sons are going through it.  From the cracking voices to the occasional comments about something changing, growing, aching, or downright annoying!  They are content one day seated in front of their gaming devices and angry the other wanting to beat each other up.  Dull days are few and far in between in my household especially this past Halloween.  The devil was busy!  Leading up to the holiday, the atmosphere seemed tense.  You felt like something was about to happen but you didn't quite know what it was.  The unseen and unexplained challenging moments in a day tend to show up sometimes with a clue to brace yourself, but not always those full blown signs to take cover.

Let me start by saying that Halloween is not a holiday I like or celebrate, but this year was different.  I felt pressured by the children the night before when they were rattling the door knob while I took a shower.  They were making random noises to jolt a scare.  These boys were all-too-excited for no apparent reason, and I simply didn't connect the dots at first, oh yea, Halloween.

Well, I wasn't taking their scare tactics lightly, oh no!  The tables were going to turn like they did on Friday the 13th back in 2017.  Back then they tried to scare me again, waiting for me to come out the bathroom while one son yelled at the door in a creepy voice, "Hey Mom, are you in there pooping, ha, ha, ha!"  You can check the short movie out, their fear was real, see here.  Well if I was, I wouldn't have a pleasant bowel movement of peace and quiet, now would I?  I came out that bathroom to a pitch black house just the light from the bathroom shined in the hallway.  Uh oh.  So they wanted to play games in the dark, well let's begin!  Let's just say by the time I was finished with them, they didn't try anything else again until this year.

October 30th I made sure that I moved through the house like a track star.  All lights cut off, doors semi-cracked, and the sounds of thumping and bumping with a periodic pause in between.  They thought they were ready for me with their creepy music and their flickering lights.  A loud "booh" and a scream, sent them running in the dark.  Of course, it was a dangerous game, someone could get hurt.  Well there was a lesson to be learned when a child attempts to scare his mother while at the same time just having fun.

I caught the youngest coming up the stairs.  I laid low and watched him through the staircase.  He looked up and there I was with a loud, "Booh!"  He tripped down the stairs and caught himself by catching the rail.  The middle son decided to boldly walk over to the basement door assuming that I may not be there, that was just too obvious so he thought.  He opened that cracked door, didn't he know from watching thrillers you don't go to a dark opened door?  There I was, "Booh!"  Shook him enough and he too took off running.  Then there was my second eldest standing at about 6'2" so he thought he had more courage than them all, well he didn't!  He practically knocked his brothers over running to the bathroom to lock himself in.  The eldest son wasn't a part of the action he has his own place now, "lucky" or I mean blessed for him--lol.

For years, I told these kids about Halloween, but sometimes you have to show them, better than you can tell them.  I'm grateful that no one got hurt.

Nicholl McGuire

Under the Xmas Tree Pressure - Is it Worth It?

Make Life Easy for Yourself During the Holidays

It is already stressful enough family visiting, holiday shopping, working a job or possibly a second, cooking, cleaning, and you know the rest.  So why not make your life easy this holiday season by doing the following?

1) Delegating responsibilities.  Do you have to be the one to do everything for everyone?  Assign tasks to those in your family who can manage.  Show them how to do things as much as you can until they get them right.

2)  Avoid the holiday celebrating at your home.  If you know you are simply too busy with other things avoid entertaining at your residence.  Plan to go out and let relatives know in advance to chip in.  If you must, collect money in advance.

3) Seek to reach a compromise with your spouse.  When issues arise, choose the higher road, rather than argue until you are blue in the face.  Ask yourself, "Is what he or she requesting/wanting/doing that serious?"  When your partner doesn't want to compromise, you don't have to be the one to go along with his or her program unless of course, you want to.  Don't be used or abused this holiday season! Check out Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

4)  When in doubt, sit this one out!  It can be quite the challenge to organize, help, and encourage others, but when doubts, fears, worries, and stress are getting the best of you, address the area of confusion then take time for you to collect your thoughts, reenergize, etc. even if it means checking into a hotel for a night or two.

5)  Keep noise down in your home especially when you or someone is ill.  You can do that by choosing gifts for children and adults that are quiet this year.  Purchasing noise cancellation headphones along with gifts.  Meeting the needs immediately of whining children and difficult kin.  Cautioning those relatives who are simply too loud or just not inviting them to your next family gathering.

6)  Watch your spending or opt out of gift-giving when you are simply strapped for cash.  Many moms feel intense pressure (sometimes to the point of tears) to do for others while dads hold on to their cash tightly and sit down and watch their favorite programs on TV or elsewhere.  Why be the one to pay and decorate?  Why prepare and serve?  Why plan and visit?  Why organize and clean?  Why do more than your emotions, time, and energy can handle?

7)  Lastly, when you suffer from the symptoms of PMS, PMDD, perimenopause or some other woman related illness, do yourself and others a favor and retreat.  When you feel better, you will treat others better.

Nicholl McGuire

Birthday Bondage & other Holidays Discussed, YouTube Tips Too

Prepare Yourself for the Side Effects of Family Holiday Events

Author of When Mothers Cry, Nicholl McGuire, addresses the audience at YourListen.com with an informative message about family issues that occur long after the celebrating.  Prepare you and your family before you attend the next family holiday event. Side Effects of Family Holiday Events

Family Holiday Events & Pride - Competition, Jealousy

Too Many Kids - Yours and Theirs - Just Say No

They have their kids, you have yours.  Whether you are dating, in a marriage, visiting family members or a place with a lot of children and their nonchalant parents, chances are you are not looking forward to the added stress.  I will be the first to admit that I am not always comfortable or content being around large groups especially when children are running all over the place during holiday celebrations.  However, there are those moments where I don't think too deeply and go out anyway while hoping all will go smoothly.

You know yourself better than anyone else and when you know you aren't in the mood to deal with your family and others no matter if it is a holiday or not, don't make yourself!  At gatherings, you can see the dismal looks on many faces of parents who are making themselves do something they rather not.  Then if an issue arises involving their child, they are saying or doing something that just might set a parent, who already didn't want to be there in the first place, off!

When choosing to do something with your family during a heavy season of travel, celebrating, etc., consider the following:

1.  Will alcoholic beverages be served?  Some people do not do well under the influence.  Unruly children will easily set off a situation that might cause emotional and/or physical abuse if people are not mindful of a drunken people.

2.  How long do you plan on staying at the event?  Don't just think about the kids having fun, but how long can you put up with the noise, crowds and more?

3.  Will you be spending money and how much are you willing to distribute?  Some events require much money and if you know that you don't have much, why go?  You will only further aggravate and already financially challenging situation by spending money you simply don't have.

4.  Are you responsible for just your children or others too?  Check your mindset, body, and other things before agreeing to watch your children and theirs.  If you should feel overwhelmed you might say or do something with someone else's child that might cause future problems for you.  Know your stress levels and say "No" when you just aren't in the mood to help.

As you sit back and think about the day's events, keep in mind that most people simply want to have a good time and if you know that you have a lot going on and don't want to be bothered with children then do what's best for you, stay home!

Nicholl McGuire

Remember Mothers Not to Do These Things at the Next Holiday Event...

7 Uncomfortable Things Some Mothers Do to Children during the Holidays

1. Tell children to hug or kiss another relative.

2. Loudly yell, threaten to punish or annoyingly correct children in front of family members.

3. Share personal stories about hygiene, school, friends, and other private things.

4. Make children clean up stuff even when they didn't make the mess.

5. Tell children to behave when they know they aren't going to be on their best behavior.

6. Change their clothes, diapers, or other apparel when other relatives are present.

7. Tell them to eat certain foods or all of their meal despite this not being a requirement at home.

Nicholl McGuire

Cut Some of Those Tasks Down this Holiday

Find the short-cuts when it comes to preparing meals this holiday.  Fall back on some of those other things you typically do if they take up too much time and energy.  Avoid traveling with little ones if you have to.  Overall, make your day easy--you can do it!  So what you forgot to make a dish, missed an engagement, or have some people at home angry with you.  Relax.  You are not superwoman so don't try to be.  If people are disappointed, critical, or moody because of you, let them!  Apologize and keep it moving or say nothing and keep on smiling! 

America is not the only country that's independent, you are too even if you are married and have children!  You can think independently, make your own decisions and take care of yourself.  Your world doesn't revolve around family.  So if you don't feel like doing something, you prefer to take a break, and you really aren't in the mood to talk, well guess what?  Give yourself permission to be free!

No more crying, complaining or cursing today.  Be blessed in the land of the free!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

Another Holiday Gone, Another One to Come...Are You Prepared?

With one holiday down, along comes another, Easter.  If you aren't one for celebrating this holiday and others, good for you.  People can better manage their finances when they pick and choose what holiday or event they are attending.  However, for those who feel obligated to celebrate one holiday after the next, here are a few tips.

Begin saving your money as soon as the last one ends.  

You can get a good idea of how much the next holiday event will cost you if you start searching online for the products you will need.  For instance, many parents attend church and decorate themselves and children in their Sunday Best during Easter.  If this is you, it would make sense to start checking out the stores who have reasonable prices on dress clothes for youth.

Start enlisting help as soon as you can for the next holiday celebration.

If you are the one doing the planning or assisting others, it is never too early to start talking about the meal plan, who is attending, what activities will be presented, and the cost.  It is better to know early what the response might be like from family and friends.  If there is a lack of interest, it just might be a blessing in disguise.  Therefore, you can redirect your money to more important things like paying down debt or having some money available for that emergency right around the corner.

Listen to the advice of others.

As hard as this can be sometimes, yet listening to your partner, children, and other relatives can be most beneficial when you are on the fence about some things related to the holidays especially when money is lacking.  Far too many moms try to be everything to everyone that they end up becoming overwhelmed, irritated, and impatient while the next holiday fast approaches.  If a partner is cautioning, "Honey, you're doing too much."  Heed the warning.  If children are behaving strangely or just don't want to travel here and there, consider their feelings.  If someone or something means that much to you and you must be with that person or group during the holidays, sometimes it is just better to travel alone and plan your festivities at that relative's home rather than yours. 

May you have fun this year with all your holiday celebrating!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

No Crying on Valentine's Day Mama

Whether young or old, mothers need not cry on Valentine's Day.  Some men just aren't going to do what's right no matter what you do for them.  Consider this a wake up call to those of you who feel undervalued, disrespected and ignored.  If you have communicated your concerns to your men and celebrate the holiday, yet partners don't acknowledge this, then what more do you ladies have to do, stand on your heads?

This is why one should not put much faith in man-made holidays like Valentine's Day or any other event.  Wives are to be appreciated any time of the year.  Don't allow the retail pressure to get to you or couples hand-holding and kissing to make you feel sad.  Also, don't feel obligated to do something or say something to cause drama in your household.  Relax.  Some men simply forget about holiday stuff or don't have the money to celebrate, but the good guys who know their partners love the holiday will make up for their absentmindedness later.  The good guys always come out winning, the bad ones not so much.

Reward yourself, mama!  Give yourself the love, peace, and happiness you so desperately want.  Put a flower on display in your household, cook your favorite meal, put on some music, and bask in the glow of loving and appreciating one's self.  If you are no good to you, how can you be to others?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight at YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

NFL Wives Super Bowl Party Planning

6 Tips on Managing Household Before and During Super Bowl Time

Behind the scenes we have all viewed how holiday planning can be:  stressful, expensive, and crazy!  Therefore, there are no exceptions when it comes to Super Bowl stuff.  Mothers are usually the ones that have to maintain the household during this time, because husbands are more concerned about stats, interviews, beer, friends, bets, and other things related to the Super Bowl.


When it comes to managing one's household before and during the Super Bowl, you might want to consider the following:


1.  Cleaning and organizing


The simple things are often overlooked when inviting guests over.  Some moms fail to get trash taken out, they don't organize clutter, and they don't make sure that bathrooms and kitchens are well-stocked with supplies.  So before you know it, paper towels, toilet paper and other things run out and all they can say is, "Sorry, we don't have any more...I apologize we ran out..."  So be sure you have all necessary items.  Also, check that your home looks and smells clean.


2.  Where will children be?


Not a good idea to have children in a room with men who are loud, cursing, and showing their ugly side if a favorite team is losing.  So plan to remove children out of the lively environment.


3.  Food preparation


You just might want to enlist some help with meal planning and serving.  If you are busy doing things with the kids, someone is going to need to check on the food.  You just might want to get the man off the couch before the game starts to do errand running and help with set up.  If you bother him during the game, don't be surprised if there is an argument.


4.  Clean up


Are you having guests over?  Then let them know in advance that you will need their assistance.  Ask one or two people who you know won't mind.


5.  Expenses


The cost of items should be dealt with prior to the event.  Check for coupons, discounts and bargains.  If you need additional money for the get-together and your partner is hesitant about giving you more money, then get creative.  Smaller portions of main entrees or add more appetizers, more of the cheaper stuff (beverages, snacks...), and ask guests to bring a cover dish or stop by a store.  Also, you might want to let your partner know in advance there won't be enough food and beverages for everyone. 


6.  Alcohol and Drugs


What are the rules?  Some might bring their own bottle and others might show up high.  How do you and your partner deal with this?  Think about how much alcohol you have, the proof content, and be sure you have plenty of ice nearby.  Put a limit on drinks and for your own safety and freedom and those you love, draw the line when it comes to drugs.


Try to get everything done prior to game time.  Be sure everything is prepared before guests arrive.  Visitors can act a bit rude when they are hungry.  Most guests don't like to wait.


Have a Happy Super Bowl time!


Nicholl McGuire 

It's Never Good Enough...Mom Wants Everything to Be Perfect

From what she has selected for her loved ones to what she will be serving during the holidays, mom wants everything to be perfect!  Described as organized, clean, practical, smart, and whatever nice name someone uses to describe the mother, she knows she has to live up to what they say or else experience ridicule.  Well, if this describes you, relax Mom, everything won't be perfect not when flawed human beings are involved!  You have done and will do your best and if anyone says anything, use your platform to speak truth, give them a life lesson they will never forget!


Holidays can be what you make them or choose not to make them.  The older I get, the more I realize that tradition seriously is not that important, so I don't make them anymore.  But what is significant is love any ole' time of the year!  Can anyone feel the love when they are in a "I have to do everything right" kind of mom's presence or is the energy surrounding her being fueled by nothing more than a checklist, a routine, a requirement, or her own personal fantasy with characters to help her live it out?


The invites, personal stories and frustrations, gifts, decorations, and more that come with family traditions can be overwhelming.  All "the stuff" will stifle loved ones from truly experiencing the love that is supposed to flow when in the presence of family and good friends.  Yet, what usually happens is an undercurrent of negativity.  Someone doesn't like one thing or another, someone else feels rejected, young children cry, while older ones sigh and moan, and others who should know better) have their share of "issues."  Everyone expects someone to do something for them from help with meal preparation to cleaning up afterward while bank accounts are getting dangerously close to over-drafting and credit cards have long been declined.


"All the money I spent...the nerve of these kids...and he wonders why I told him I want a divorce...I can't stand his people and I really hate it when...!  I wish people would help me...I did this, then I did that!  Oh, they are so lazy!"


When does mom awake from what others told her she is supposed to be?  When does she stop living someone else's dream and make life easier on herself and her finances?  She is hosting, planning, creating, designing, organizing, buying, decorating, and doing other things for...?  How does her partner and children really feel about all of her involvement in this thing and that one, does she even care how they feel while she craves for the attention and the flattering statements like, "You are such a good mom!"?


Tis' the season, when mothers cry.


Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on a variety of issues, here.   

Truth and Tradition by Michael Rood

Is it Really Worth House-Hopping this Holiday Season?

He complains about his wife's side of the family and she can't stand his, yet a family member gets the bright idea to have everyone (good, bad and otherwise) over their home for Thanksgiving, then Christmas and how about New Years too?  For some of you, who are over-the-top with the celebrating, reading this, don't expect so much!


Depending on what part of the world you live in, you just might be stuck in the house for hours due to bad weather at someone's home.  You also might have to put up with a partner who will be saying, "I told you we shouldn't have come...I really wish we hadn't left home..." while you wait for the storms to pass.


House-hopping is definitely worth the effort if you know for sure this is something that all parties agree on.  Who wouldn't miss visiting a favorite aunt or an awesome grandfather who has goodies at their homes?  No one would pass up an opportunity to see mom if she is in good spirits and prepares great meals while treating her family with some love and respect.  However, when there is frequent family discord and people act miserably with one another, you have to wonder, "Why bother?"  When you know there is a history of ugly people acting ugly, why subject your relatives to their foolishness?


Many families risk their lives traveling to see relatives only to come back home ready to spank the kids, divorce the spouse, and put the pet outdoors in the cold for messing up the house.  Then to make matters worse, the bills will be coming in and monies will be short. Those determined to get family together often don't consider all of the issues that come when trying to get to a holiday event especially one that is out of town during the winter season. 


Save yourself and your family the head, heart and butt ache, choose where you will spend the holidays wisely and don't force everyone to comply when it is obvious that some folks simply don't like being around certain family members.


Happy Holidays!


Nicholl McGuire, YouTuber channel: nmenterprise7


Nicholl is the author of the following books:

Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic https://www.createspace.com/3437273
When Mothers Cry https://www.createspace.com/3393499
Laboring to Love Myself https://www.createspace.com/3401526
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate https://www.createspace.com/3332346
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail...
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail...

Valentine For Preschool | Beanbag Toss with Hearts & Letters | Cullen's ...

When Mothers Cry Author Talks about Jesus as a Little Boy on YouTube

God bless you and your family this holiday season.