Asking Saves Kids - For the Love of God Talk to Your Kids

Children are Still Being Kidnapped Everyday

What if your child was no more--I mean left, gone, without a trace!  This happened to a relative of mine.  She dropped off her daughter with a best friend only to return to pick her up after an extended stay and the two were no where to be found!  An Amber Alert was issued and luckily her child was recovered in another state hundreds of miles away from home unharmed. 

The pain, guilt, worry, and more that one goes through when he or she has to deal with an abduction.  Many of us parents don't bother to think about such things, because we have our children with us daily.  But when it happens to someone close to our families, we begin to have feelings of anxiety--we start to stress and trust levels begin to diminish  with some people in our inner circles.  We find ourselves being extra, sometimes overly, cautious. 

I thought of some points you may not have thought about lately when it comes to paying better attention to your children.  A wake up call typically moves us to do some things differently so as to prevent unnecessary issues as best we can and hopefully reduce the risk of a future kidnapping.

1.  Watch and listen to caretakers especially when they start referring to your children as theirs.

2.  Don't permit your children to stay anywhere often or for extended lengths of time, especially without checking in with the caretaker.

3.  Don't assume that because someone is nice and has a great background in handling children that he or she is always right, always trustworthy, and always treats your child with respect.

4.  When you have that stirring in your stomach, an odd feeling, or something that just doesn't seem right when you prepare to drop off your child with someone, don't ignore those signs!  Is missing a work day more important than the well being of your child?

5.  Pay particular attention to what your child/children say about certain individuals who come around them.  Don't brush off their statements as child talk and "kids being kids" particularly when you confront a caretaker about what he or she has said or done concerning your child.

6.  If something isn't right, most likely it isn't.  Always have a back up plan and don't hesitate to get authorities involved.

7.  Observe your surroundings.  Check out cars, trucks, and vans that seem to park near or around you whenever you walk with your child, visit with others, or drop your child off.  Notice who is sitting in those vehicles, what time they are parked and on what days.  Check for patterns.  View license plates, color and car make and note them in your cell phone or elsewhere.

In addition, do get your child's photo taken at least once a year.  Be sure to have fingerprints of your child filed away.  Also, know more about caretakers besides name, address, phone and other similar things.  Find out what their interests are.  Learn about where they are from and who their relatives are.  Take a photo of the caretaker with your child.  Jot down the vehicle information of the caretaker.  Note names of assistants, friends, church and civic group affiliations.  With this information, if something should ever occur with your child, the police have some information to conduct a thorough investigation.

37 things you should hoard – or is it 55? Who needs to buy a book when we have google? « Sussex County Angel

You might have come across a book online about things you will need in case of a disaster, well it turns out that many have used it as a discussion on their sites and have also added much more to think about.  A commentor by the name of Geoff Mcpherson on the Sussex County Angel blog site, had the following to say below:

"Silver one ounce ingots/bars are better than paper money–especially if financial crisis hits. Silver and gold never lose all their value. Silver is more easily used as cash..gold too difficult to measure small dollar amounts with…a nugget , for example, could be worth $300..and that’s 1/6th of an ounce. Less than a pea size. Silver, on the other hand, is routinely made into one ounce ingots that are currently between 30 and 40 dollars worth.
Water–dried foods are worthless if there’s no water.
SHARPIE PENS: Write on your cans of food what is inside…in case the labels become wet and fall off..this will help immensely when eating from cans…and for bartering with them.
MAPS!! In case you have to “hoof it” out of where you are, you can avoid the major roads and go overland. Get Forest Service Maps of the local public lands. There are hundreds of thousands of miles of dirt roads in the nations forests. Learn how to use a compass and how to read a topographical map.
DUCT TAPE; In Alaska, it is called “hundred mile an hour tape” = you can fix a bushplane wing with it, and can fly up to 100 mph before the tape will blow off. IT has thousands of uses down here, too.
STOCK PILE PRESCRIPTION MEDICINES….IF YOU POSSIBLY CAN. TRY OFF-SHORE PHARMACIES IF YOUR HMO or DOCTOR WON’T HELP YOU. You can’t be any help to your family if they’re trying to keep you alive or healthy..you’ll become a liability instead of an asset.
FIRE STARTER KIT—matches, lighters, etc. Learn how to start a fire BEFORE your survival depends on it.
WATER: it’s every bit as important as you can imagine. It bears repeating. SAFE WATER can either be boiled or sterilized. CHLORINE BLEACH or CHLORINE GRANULES (spa or swimming pool supplies) can be used. Learn how much to use. Be careful with this product; it can be dangerous. Use the sharpie pen to label it as dangerous/poison –see? you’re already using that sharpie pen!!
CHLORINE BLEACH : cleans things, including blood spills from others. Yuk.
LEATHERMAN TOOL, Buck Knife, Machete.Ax or Hatchet.
FIRE ARMS: you can feed your family with a .22 rifle and at the very least, you can feed your dogs and cats with small game.
FIRST AID KIT
PET SUPPLIES:
READING: Survival Guides and Self-help books
BINOCULARS: I can’t stress this enough, it goes along with the fire arms requirement…you’ll need to spot other people before they spot you. You’ll need to assess their intentions before they come too close. Be careful. In a perfect world, everybody would behave nicely. The world is not perfect.
Fishing gear: hooks and line,,,weights and tackle…you can bet that game wardens will be too busy to enforce catch limits..
LEARN HOW TO DRY MEATS and make JERKY…
In short, if you have any camping equipment and experience, you’re better off than your cousins who don’t. Think of survival as a long camping trip. With consequences."

To learn more click the link:  37 things you should hoard – or is it 55? Who needs to buy a book when we have google? « Sussex County Angel

Too Busy, Trusting, and Nonchalant When it comes to the Children?

We just don’t think sometimes as busy moms.  We are so distracted with trying to complete To-Do Lists that we fail to notice red flags or the “writing on the wall” so to speak, when it comes to people watching our children.  We don’t think at times how a few too many visits over a friend’s house might have a significant impact on their personalities, how they interact with us, and what other parents might be thinking since every time they look up they see your child at their home.

I thought of this blog entry idea after thinking about some things I witnessed and experienced as a child.  It was then, that it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, there is a parent out there in cyber-world who needs just a friendly reminder to stay on her (or his) toes when it comes to parenting children.

Don’t be naïve when it comes to over-night stays.

As much as we don’t like to think of a relative hurting a child, there are those who once were abused children who never received help so now they tend to reenact their childhood sometimes by what they see, hear, smell among other things.  Some critical individuals underestimate the power of one’s senses.  They don’t realize how some things will trigger certain emotional responses and reactions in adults.  For instance, a child who is often difficult to manage might bring out the worst in an adult who during his youth was also equally hard to make behave.  So this person might desire to discipline a child in a way that is cruel or harsh because he received this sort of punishment.  Meanwhile, a busy parent doesn’t really know what is going on over at a relative’s house and most likely will side with the caretaker if her child is often a challenge.

There are those parents and others who don’t see anything wrong with permitting siblings, cousins, friends, and adults to sleep in the same bed with children.  Unfortunately with a society, like ours, that glorifies sex as much as it does, one can never be too careful about allowing others to sleep in the bed with your children.  If one must share a bed, have the child’s head lay on one end facing the other child’s toes and put a pillow between both.  Put a nightlight in the room and leave the door open.  This way if one child has been exposed to some things that you don’t know about and has plans to show and tell at least you can hinder an experimental episode.  Be cautious when children play as well.  Discourage games like “House” and “Hide and Go Seek.”

Don’t permit children to stay up late at night or arise early in the morning and hang out in rooms together without adult supervision. (Be sure the adult watching the children doesn’t have a shady track record).

Children tease, bully, snoop, and try things on one another that they wouldn’t ordinarily do when adults are present.  Why “trust” that children will behave when adults are absent for long periods of time?  This is why some parents are without their children, whether they choose to admit it or not, for neglect.  I have personally met parents who lost their children as a result of fire and gunshot wounds, because their children were curious and just wanted to see what would happen if they played with this or touched that.  While others were sexually abused by a relative, friend of the family, and/or cousins, because mom or dad was busy working, needed a break from the kids, or went out of town.  Some children don’t tell on relatives, friends and others because they are fearful that the parent will be mad, might not let them come back to see other relatives, or will get someone in trouble. 

As parents, we also need to be mindful of what children are viewing over other people’s homes.  I can’t tell you how many times I personally witnessed and heard as a child how someone got a hold of a porn magazine, a video, or taste tested someone’s hidden drugs or alcohol.  All of which were discussed on the playground, during study hall, at lunch or after school.

 With so many marriages ending in divorce and children living with a single parent who often works long hours and is unable to supervise, there are those who have little regard for children and take advantage of them in some of the most despicable ways.  Do what you can to be sure that your children are with trustworthy individuals.  Periodically pop up on your child staying over a relative or his or her friend’s house.  Be at home during your lunch hour sometimes.  Take a personal day and check to see if your child is really coming from the school and going straight home.  Don’t put any faith in a text message since you don’t know exactly where your child is and if he or she really wrote the message.  Consider a tracking device.  Of course, there are those people and children who are generally honest, but there are far more who are deceitful and lie more than they tell the truth.  Always be one step ahead of your children whether they have a good track record or not.  Lastly, don’t assume that because an adult is “so nice” and “has children too” that they are reliable, have morals, and care about your loved ones as much as you.  

To you and your family’s safety!  

Nicholl McGuire, Author of When Mothers Cry

If you or someone you know is being abused, please do call: National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)