Father's False Expectations - godless, pointless and rebellious

A Father's Favorite Child

Lazy Fathers - Ineffective Dads

Lazy Fathers - Ineffective Dads: Parenting blog for families of multi-age groups - newborns, tweens, and teens. Basic facts on raising children. Tips on shopping for children.

What Fathers Aren't Telling Their Sons About Women

Workplace Changes Needed Like Yesterday - Problems, Solutions

Dads Hope You Don't Ask Them to Do Anything

No matter where you are on the scale of maturity when it comes to motherhood, you know that there are issues that need to be addressed when it comes to caring for children.  You may have a nine-year- old or a 29-year-old, who has needs once again, and would like for you to help, but mom you have enough to do!  Maybe you have done more than enough, so what's up with dad, grand-dad or great grand-dad?

It is never too late to enlist the help of dad even if you have kept him out of your children's affairs most of their lives.  He may have told you repeatedly how he can't do this, don't have the time for that, and why don't you help with that issue or this one?  But the truth is, dad needs to do more when it comes to raising children especially sons.  When you asked for his help, Dad might bring up the past, argue, threaten or even push you to yell at the top of your lungs, "Why don't you listen?  I need you to help!"  No matter what the lazy, poor, blind, crippled, or crazy dad tries to do to wiggle his way out of paying for something, advising your children, or simply being there for them, don't let him!  Chances are if he has experience with a previous family, he has much experience getting out of things.  Whether you have to do things like:  pray daily and partake in a spiritual fast, have the dreaded meeting that might start divorce proceedings, make an important phone call with tears in your eyes, or contact some outside help that absolutely hates good-for-nothing dads, don't give up on getting dad involved with your sons and daughters, moms!

Too many men have used excuses for far too long to keep from doing everything from changing a diaper to putting gas in the car to take children to their activities.  "Oh, I can't do that I have to work late.  My back and head hurts again, sorry honey.  You know what my childhood was like...you are better at that kind of thing with the kids.  I wish I could help but there is a big game on TV!" 

As long as you permit him to say and do what he wants when he wants, you will keep being the one having to "do it all!"  For some of you reading this, you have said just that! "I do everything around here!  What does he do?  I have to buy this and that...be the one to help our children with their needs...Whenever I ask him to do something he acts like he can't hear me!" 

In time, what tends to happen is a breakdown of communication which ultimately leads to a relationship breaking up.  A stressed out and often angry mother who feels taken advantage of will start saying and doing the kinds of things that will drive dad mad and possibly out of his home (mentally and physically) into the arms of someone else who he just might enlist the help of her to help out with the children.  You may have already experienced such a thing and now you have to listen to, "Dad's girlfriend did this for me...and Dad told his girlfriend to do that for us...Dad's fiance is very nice to me she said..."  The man didn't change, even with a new partner, he just passed the buck literally onto someone who wouldn't make him do anything!

So what can a mom, who still has an ounce of love and respect for the children's father, do?  Express her feelings and ask for more assistance.  She can gradually get him involved with more things without a grand announcement that includes a soapbox speech complete with an audience--notice I said gradually get him involved, this means introducing one thing at a time each day.  Some men simply can't handle too much of anything when it comes to family life especially when there is a crying infant in the house. So do keep this in mind before you start thinking about all that he needs/he better do.

In addition, a mother can share her plans in a way that includes him in the decision-making especially when it comes to spending money--show him the benefits.  Enlist his help when it comes to organizing, cleaning, teaching, care-taking etc. even if it means hanging schedules and notes around the house as reminders to the whole family (not just him)--avoid large, angry, red signs and don't post more than two. 

Keep in mind, one is trying to lighten her load.  She tells dad when she is unavailable in advance; rather than spring things up on him.  She leaves her partner with the children, but doesn't fail to supply meals, snacks and whatever else the children need.  Mom finds a way to get things done that doesn't require her supervision, instruction, etc. in very little time, because she is organized and manages time well. 

As we all know, there is more to being a father besides bringing home the bacon and periodically asking sons and daughters, "To do this...and do that or else!"  Nowadays more and more women are bringing home the bacon too, but they aren't relinquishing some of their household duties and family responsibilities which are sending them to their graves earlier and earlier!

Most dads don't want to be bothered when they are staring at the fires of their lives like cavemen many centuries ago.  They love their televisions, computer screens, and other electronics.  They enjoy eating and don't care much if kitchen is cleaned daily, fresh bed sheets are on the bed, and the house is well decorated.  Many could care less about home-cooked meals for the children when there is a McDonalds down the street.  These dads might melt when their children smile and give them things, but avoid them like a plague when they are having difficulties especially when finances are involved.

So if a woman comes along willing to bear a separated or divorced father more children or has one or more already, the dad doesn't feel like he has to do much else when Mom is "Taking care of this...Working here and there...Doing this and that for me and the kids..."  Why should he get off the couch and bother to assist his partner when she is adamantly telling him, "I run the show and I don't need anyone telling me what to do or helping me, thank you very much!"

Get Dads involved!  It is a matter of life and death to many of you women who already have illnesses as a result of doing far too much for far too many years for far too many people!  Listen to your doctor and your heavenly Creator and let them lighten your burdens--listen, stop defending your actions and creating false flags for your life, watch as well as pray!  God uses his messengers to warn you, "You are doing too much!  Why don't you let the children's father do some of those things?"  Maybe Dad doesn't do what you do as good as you, so teach him and give that man the pass when he messes up without nagging him.  Keep showing him how to care for children until he does what you ask of him right.

Nicholl McGuire

Fathers Gone All the Time - Mothers Left to Care for Children

He has his itinerary for the day and it doesn't include you and the children.  He drives around as if single.  You may be in a relationship with someone like this.  Angry that this man who claims he loves you is acting like he doesn't even know you.

When a mother comes to a point in her intimate relationship where she is fed up with a partner, she will either do one of two things, she will get even or she will focus on the needs of her family void of him.

Some fathers just don't get it when it comes to having a family.  He may be the breadwinner or not, but whatever his role, there are family members who need him more than he might realize.  For some fathers, they are becoming distant from the family because they have allowed themselves to become so distracted with what is going on outside the home.  Others fight for a life they once had that wasn't comprised of wife, kids, pets, etc.  Still others just want to be fathers without being told to act like fathers--whatever that might mean to mothers.

With so much frustration going on at home, the father disappears for awhile.  Some leave home to never return.  Others find a dwelling that they can go to periodically without family.  But for many dads they disappear in front of a television, computer or some other device.  Children are often playing alone while mothers maintain house, children, and check-in with relatives and friends.

Now with so much responsibility, a mother who is simply fed up with a father who may be physically or mentally absent from his family, may not be the best wife, lover or friend.  She will scream, curse, cry or even shake up the family home when dad doesn't bother to acknowledge his family.

It isn't any wonder why some mothers leave the family home never to return.  If a dad can't see that his inactions are driving his mate mad then he is in a poor state of mind.  The children will cry out to their father wanting to know, "What happened to mommy?"  While he comes up with yet another excuse, "I don't know...maybe she just doesn't love us anymore."  Rather than saying, "I wasn't very nice to your mother.  I didn't really care about her feelings.  I should have paid closer attention to the family."

So what is the solution really when it comes to fathers being distant and mothers frustrated because they aren't doing their part to keep the family whole?  Well it all depends on whether the man of the house can see how his absence is breaking the family down.  Is the mother communicating her concerns?  Is she providing examples?  Does she do her part to keep the family whole or are her words breaking the family down?  What is it that the father is or isn't doing that is causing so much turmoil in the house and is he willing to let go of those things?  Does he even want his family?

Some men don't want to be fathers.  I remember a relative who tried the family life and he said it wasn't for him.  He left the house and he didn't come back.  As much as the mother tried to have a distant relationship with the father and at times forced his son on him, to no avail.  The father was adamant he didn't want to be with her or the child.  They were mistakes he rather not live with for the rest of his life.  This man has since died.  But I share this true story because it demonstrates the fact that when a man doesn't want a family--he means it.  So how might you detect that a father might be checking out?

1.  He use to talk to everyone in the family and do nice things, now he doesn't.  Often uses the excuse of not having any money, but you notice he has money to spend on himself.
2.  At one time, he encouraged the family members in their games, projects, etc. and did his part to assist whenever needed, now he doesn't.
3.  He not only visits family and friends, he stays at their homes for weeks at a time.
4.  He avoids phone calls, emails, texts and other forms of communication from his immediate family members.  He may lie or make up excuses as to why he can't return phone calls.
5.  He started packing items in boxes and bags as if he is ready to go somewhere.
6.  He has various rental guides for apartments rather than homes that could fit the whole family.
7.  He acts uninterested in anything you and the children say.
8.  He is quick-tempered, mean and doesn't want to talk about his feelings.
9.  He frequently tells family he wants to be left alone and doesn't want to be bothered even when no one is really saying or doing much to bother him.
10.  He seems to be more concerned about what is going on outside the home ie.) sporting events, women, job etc. to the point that he rarely stays at home when he knows everyone will be up and about. He may often leave very early in the morning and come home very late at night.

When considering the above points, keep in mind whether the father has changed his routine.  Also, don't just take a single point and run with it, ask yourself what else might he be saying or doing that is making you feel like he doesn't want to be in a relationship or at home helping raise the children.  He may be going through a difficult time that may not have anything to do with the family.  Watch as well as pray.

Nicholl McGuire

Dad: Are You Taking Time Out with Your Son?

Dad: Are You Taking Time Out with Your Son?

GoFatherhood: Musings of a Single Dad with Three Kids

I thought the following blog was interesting for those curious about how a father manages single fatherhood half the time while his ex has the children the other half of the time.  
GoFatherhood: Musings of a Single Dad with Three Kids

When Mother Knows Best & They Don't

If you have been a mother for any length of time then your intuition concerning your children has been challenged by someone who is either helping you raise your children or occassionally babysitting for you.

He or she may not have verbally said one word about the way you raise your children, but this person may have done some things the total opposite of what you wanted them to just because they are stubborn, jealous, or just don't want to admit that you are right and they are wrong. Whatever the reason, you know your children better than the rest of them and if what you say and do is in their best interest, then by all means stand strong in your beliefs, convictions and so on.

I have been in debates with the fathers of my children over what they thought was the littlest of things. From our young children watching things on television they can't handle to what they have given them to eat. As we all know children can't digest violence without eventually acting it out on their siblings or other children. We also know that if you give a child a certain sweet snack before a meal or before bed time, you are in for some trouble. And most importantly, as mothers, we know that if you don't have a consistent bedtime for your children, they will not perform well in school and their moodiness (from being tired) gets them in trouble with you and everyone else.

The shrug of the shoulders, the eye rolls, and the attitude from bystanders because once again someone has upset you concerning your children is enough to make you want to yell at the top of your lungs, "What are you looking at?! Does anyone understand? Do you know what kind of impression you are making on my child? Who do you think you are!" Some people just don't get it! We must remember we are living in times where evil is considered good and good is considered evil. "It's okay to let our son play the rated M game, it's not that bad. Why are you so angry about him not going to bed on time? What's the big deal about our daughter going over her friend's house every Friday night? What is the problem with the way I discipline the children? You are too strict! Why can't the children listen to that song? They don't know what it means," say some fathers and relatives, but you know what's best.

I have had debates similar to the ones mentioned above and I can tell you that, in the past, I have literally exhausted myself trying to explain why wrestling isn't good for a four and five year old or why we needed to start putting money away for our children's future. If we don't stand up for what we believe is wrong for our children then who will? I put no trust in family, friend, or foe to give me accurate information and be 100% transparent when they are with my child while I am away. The reason for this is because I know that I didn't always provide every single detail to everyone about my own children, so why would I expect differently from people who don't know my children like I do?

Now I understand that when one isn't in the presence of their children due to unfortunate circumstances or is in a position where they have no choice but to let someone else spend 8 to 10 hours a day with their babies, there is a good possibility that he or she doesn't know best, but the caretaker does. How could a parent who is often working or away from their child really know what's going on if they aren't doing the following: taking time out to interview his or her son or daughter, asking specific questions about the child's experience with the caretaker, showing up to parent and teacher meetings, and most of all taking the time to listen to their child when he or she wants to talk.

In conclusion, mother doesn't always know what's best, but when she does, she just wants someone to listen and do what she asks when it comes to the children's mental and physical well-being. Is that too much to ask?


Nicholl McGuire
http://www.myspace.com/howtobooks

Disney’s Mickey & Minnie’s Gift of the Magi

One night while preparing the children for bed, one of my sons went over to a cabinet where he stores his books and pulled out one that made me look at my financial woes a little differently. Disney’s Mickey & Minnie’s Gift of the Magi by Bruce Talkington and illustrated by Fernando Guell Cano was the book my son selected for me to read.

The book starts off with “It was the day before Christmas…” right away I was interested given the time period at which my son brought me the book – mind you he is only 3. The story begins with telling us about Mickey’s woes” his coat not warm enough, Christmas tree not large enough, and his pockets were empty. Well by this time I am really into this book, because it is describing similar real life situations I have been in and currently face. But despite all of this Mickey is playing his harmonica.

As Mickey and Pluto stroll down the street, Mickey notices a necklace in a store front window. While I am reading, I am thinking, “The happiness and music just stopped for you Mickey.” But the optimistic mouse’s discovery makes him determined to get this gift to go with Minnie’s watch. Now Mickey is reminded by his empty pockets that he can’t get the necklace, but he tells his dog Pluto that “you and I are going to make lots of tips today…” Meanwhile, Minnie is at home having a problem that is very much the kind we as mothers can relate to and that is a pile of unpaid bills. She tells her cat, “There’s nothing but bills how am I ever going to afford to get Mickey a present?” She quickly realizes Mickey is at the door and rather than bombard him with a list of worries, the book says she “shoved the bills in a drawer and raced into the living room.”

As I read more, Minnie wants to get a case for Mickey’s harmonica because she notices that he wraps it up in an old rag.
Now I am thinking at this point that neither Mickey nor Minnie don’t have children, no fancy car (because he dropped her off at work riding a dog sled – LOL) so why all the bills? They have two jobs between them.

Anyway, Mickey has a hard boss who could care less about the sentiments of Christmas just the money that the Christmas trees bring. Mickey is working very hard and ends up acquiring enough money to get Minnie’s necklace; however just as luck would have it his boss would take his money. He did this because he didn’t like Mickey disrupting his efforts to rip a poor father off by up-selling him on a tree they didn’t want and lying that the expensive trees was all he had. Mickey sold the family a cheaper tree. Mickey’s boss threw him and the dog off his property. However, nothing good comes of the boss and he ended up burning his money and his trees up due to a lit cigar he was smoking. Meanwhile at Minnie’s job, a bonus she was expecting from her boss ended up being a fruitcake.

While the firefighters put out the fire, Mickey played his harmonica. The firefighters heard him because they were due to attend a toy drive and play in the band. Mickey joined them. However, the writer of the story doesn’t write that Mickey receives any money for his efforts – I am thinking, “Isn’t that typical.” Mickey eventually leaves in time to meet the store owner who has the necklace he wants to get for Minnie, so he trades his harmonica for the necklace. Meanwhile, Minnie had traded her watch for a case for Mickey’s harmonica. The story ends with the couple wishing one another a Merry Christmas. The writer adds, “It was a Christmas they’d never forget.”

Can I just remind you this is a children’s book? My three-year-old is just looking at the pictures. He doesn’t know that the book he brought to me spoke into our family’s current situation. The only difference is rather than making trades, we borrowed credit to make the end of our story a Merry Christmas.

What I found rather odd is that although this is a children’s book, in addition to parents and children, this story should be read to childless couples too. From the looks of things the mice have nothing to show for all this debt they acquired and if they had babies, you could only imagine what kind of hours they would be putting in at work! If they were willing to work extra hard just to buy two simple gifts they would be working even harder for their families.

I don’t want to read too deeply into this simple story, but the lesson I learned after re-reading this is the debt the mice acquired most likely came from spoiling one another. We spoil our children, partners and ourselves and then we cry when our backs are up against the wall and can’t pay for anything. Those mice were working hard to give one another everything they needed and wanted and then when it came down to a gift that really mattered to each of them, neither one could help due to all their past debt. The stress of bills will make any mother in over her head cry!

So the moral of the story is when you are in debt, don’t do what Mickey did in the beginning of the story, gaze in the store front window. Ignore the emails, click past the eBay link, throw away the catalogs, and even say no to the needy people on the street when you know you are already obligated to your lenders. Most of all, don’t allow your burdens and other people’s attitudes or cheap giving take your happiness away, like Mickey kept playing his harmonica, you keep on playing yours!

God bless.

Nicholl McGuire
Check out my writings at Triond

Note: Typical Disney why would they title this book like this...Magi? Needless to say, Disney books have been removed off my children's shelves after seeing way too many occult things going on between the pages.

Fathers & Newborns: A Different Kind of Relationship

Fathers aren’t in love with newborns like mothers. For example, while mother is sleeping and father is restless he may continue to lie in the bed hoping the baby will wake up the mother so that he doesn’t have to tend to him or her. Mothers will do the same. A silent war between the couple ensues – no one wants to care for the baby for the millionth time!

Fathers know how to turn a deaf ear to not only their baby’s cries, but the mothers too! Just as they will act as if they don’t hear the baby in the middle of the night, they will pretend not to notice the mother’s post-partum cries. They know that eventually the mother will tend to the baby's needs while calling up her own mother for support.

When Fathers Put Everyone Else First But Her

Whether you have been to a family gathering or have talked with a relative or friend over the phone, there are those times that they will say something to you that will offend you regarding your parenting skills. Some mothers will tell their own relatives or friends about how their negative statement or action made them feel. However, when your husband’s or boyfriend’s family or friends are the offenders, things can get tricky. Most women will tell their mates about what was said, so that their mate is updated on any potential problems that may threaten their family. Some women will want their men to do something about family issues since they don’t feel that it is their place to say something. However, when mothers are protective of the family and the fathers are too busy, too tired, and too passive or too whatever to do something about it, mothers will get angry with tears of frustration in their eyes screaming, “Aren’t you going to say something? Aren’t you going to do something?”

When a woman becomes a mother there is something deep down within her spirit that is affected. She becomes strong in areas where she was once weak. She develops an intuition also known as women’s intuition. Some mothers see potential family problems sooner than others. These mothers are blessed with a third eye that can see an attack made against her family from miles away. It isn’t that she has become some trouble-making gossip, although there are some women who are, but she doesn’t want his or her family coming into her home with their jealous, hidden motives and other selfish tactics now that she has bore children.

Some family members see the birth of children as an opportunity to control, manipulate, restore or break relationships. What a great way, so the family thinks, to get their distant son to do things he has never done with the family now that children are here? Why not get him to partake in family traditions, spend more time with parents or anything else they want, because of course he is a father now! When children are born into a relationship, some extended family observed what has changed and not changed since their beloved son or daughter has become a mother or father. Any selfish family member is looking at how the arrival of children will or will not benefit them. For instance, let’s say the father of your children was very close to his family before you and the children came along. Now he seems to be more focused on his new family needs and less on theirs, he would be a fool to think that his family would not say or do something to draw him near again. Family will do things no matter how nice, charming or outright negative to get what they want. Have you ever watched the television sitcom, “Everybody Loves Raymond” if so the mother-in-law is a good example of this sort of behavior? Family will attempt to get what they want by using underhanded motives such as finding fault with the children’s mother so that they can spend time with the new grandchild, niece, nephew, etc. alone without the mother coming around. How about getting the father to take money out of the family budget for what they consider more pressing needs? What about using guilt trips such as “I never see you…or I want to see the grandchildren.” Then they talk negatively behind the new father’s back or don’t bother to go out of their way to come and see his family.

An intuitive mother sees family’s negative actions with a third eye. She doesn’t wear rose-colored glasses and she attempts to get her husband to take off his rose-colored glasses when problems arise. But the real issue the mother has isn’t with her husband or boyfriend’s relatives as much as it is with him. How is he going to react when the old family has done something to offend his new family? Will he find “nice statements” to say to his wife or girlfriend that will excuse his family’s behavior; and hopefully pacify her or will he address the problems his side of the family causes while making it comfortable for her to come around without backlash?

Being a mother isn’t just about her children, but it’s also about maintaining an image of respect, dignity and wisdom amongst anyone who encounters her. She must carry herself at times like a minister of a church. Being a public servant for others, always watching what she says or does around others, while taking care that her children’s father’s needs are met. But what about her needs? When she is faced with the obstacles set before her by his family and friends, who will have her and the children’s backs? Will it be another family member standing in the gap where he falls short? Will this family member or friend be the one telling him, “You better change your ways or else you are going to lose your family?” Or will this selfish family member sit on the side lines gossiping with other family members saying, “I knew that he wasn’t going to make it with her.”

Why don’t some of these fathers have the gift of the third eye or male intuition when his family is being verbally assaulted by others in between their phony grins? When will these fathers wake up and understand that there is an enemy who wants them out of the family home and out in the street looking for temporal things to make them happy for only a moment? Mothers are crying about all sorts of issues regarding fathers from them leaving the home to them being inactive in the home. They want the fathers to be models for their children, but when they don’t stand up for the mothers and the children, there will be disharmony in the household and the only ones to blame are themselves.

Mothers need to stop taking the blame for these fathers who mishandle money, cheat, lie, steal, and put everyone else before the family and anything else that breaks up the family unit. We spend money for self-improvement books, plastic surgery, counselors, and so much more because we think that somehow we can fix all that is wrong in our relationships with the fathers and our children. But the reality is that it takes two to work on any relationship and not just one. It is very easy for some people to make the necessary adjustments in their relationships and all is well, but there are many more that can’t and rather then make the arrangements to establish boundaries and/or end relationships, we hold on to them thinking things will get better when they won’t. There are children who wish that mommy and daddy did go their separate ways, because maybe there would be some peace and quiet while they slept at night. Some children notice the relationship problems of their parents and blame themselves wishing that they could just die. Meanwhile, we adults think that we are doing the children a favor by staying together.

I remember when I finally got the bright idea to leave my relationship and I was glad I did. Later, I asked my children how they felt about mommy and daddy breaking up and they told me they were glad, because they were “tired of the arguing.” So to all the mothers who think that staying with these fathers who rather put everyone else and everything else before the family, I say, “Be prepared to nurse the wounds of your children when they are older.”

Staying on the phone talking with your family and friends about his “no good, sorry, good for nothing…” doesn’t motivate you to walk out the door, ironically it keeps you staying in the mess, because so-called well-meaning family and friends will say things that will cause you to second-guess your decisions, “You should stay with Jim, he has all that money. What will you do if you go? I would put up with it for as long as I can it’s hard to find a good man.”

When the time comes to make plans to leave the relationship, think about who is the better parent. If he treats the children better than you do, then you should strongly consider leaving them behind and arranging visitation. Think about how your staying in a dead end relationship is impacting not only you, but in the short and long-term your children? Although I didn’t want to, the court decided for me, who was the better parent financially to care for the children, so they gave him physical custody. I could have fought him on it, but when I really thought about it, he is the better parent for raising sons, not me. I have never been a boy or man so I don’t know what internal struggles they go through when it comes to identity. It was hard for me to come to grips with this truth, but I think that I have a better relationship with him and my children because of it.

A hard lesson I learned about motherhood is that sometimes you can be a better mother to your children at a distance. Society would like to judge you for something that goes against tradition, but only you know what you can and can’t handle. Yes, you will cry a lot having to say goodbye to your children, but through your pain, you will become a stronger and wiser woman because of it. I learned that I was a woman first, before I became a mother; therefore there is a spirit within me that surpasses the title of mother. It is due to the strength of my spirit within (powered by God Almighty) that I will live long after the children make friends, move away, get married, or die. Women without a spiritual strength within that keeps them motivated to live, will suffer enormously when the children move away, get married or die, because they have allowed their spirit to live through their children. A mother who taps into this same inner strength will be able to overcome when the father puts everyone else before the family. She will take over as head of household and ensure that everything runs smoothly. Through her tears, she will sacrifice everything else because of her children. A mother will protect her family when the father won’t.

Written by Nicholl McGuire, for more of her writings visit http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

When Fathers Aren't Ready to be Daddys

While we were struggling with the idea of being a new mother, they were trying to make sense of how was it that one night with us would slow down their lives for at least the next 18 years too! They had plans just like we did. He wanted to go places, dine and wine, enjoy a life of luxury, come and go as he pleased, sleep in as late as he wanted, but then the news came. While we talk ourselves into this idea of being a mother, there are fathers who are and have talked themselves out of being a father. To think that a child will need to be diapered, fed, rocked to sleep, entertained, carried, groomed, walked, taken to the doctor and so much more is too hard for some men to accept! They lose sleep, an appetite, a passion for sex, and a general interest in the mother of their child just from thinking about all that is forthcoming. “Why me,” some fathers will ask. Others say, “Another expense…” They didn’t want to be fathers no more than some of us wanted to be mothers. They, like us, had a choice, but there issue is a little bit more complex than ours. Let’s say he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant and he does want his child, but she rather aborts him or her. He has no control over his girlfriend’s body to make her not have the baby; therefore, he can’t stop her from getting an abortion if she is determined to do so. However, there are many more stories where men don’t want their children and the mothers do want them. When this happens, he usually becomes distant and eventually absent out of the expectant mother’s life before the baby is born. So there she is a new mother with no support mentally, financially or physically from the man she wants loved. Now she has to raise a son or daughter who will never know their father. The reality that daddy isn’t around nor does he care, makes mothers cry and eventually they stop crying and become bitter vowing that they will never love another man like they did the father of their child again.

There are those men who don’t leave the mothers of their children, but they give everyone in the family a hard time because they feel obligated to stay. He is caught in between being a player and being a father. He wants to be at home, but he also wants to be out in the street. He enjoys watching his children grow up, but he doesn’t want to clean up. Men like this, contribute to a mother’s cry on a daily basis. They have mood swings that come and go often. While sitting in front of the television watching the game, the baby cries, while mother is in the kitchen cooking and he is aggravated because she won’t go to the baby and make him or her stop crying. The family is preparing to go to an event and he grooms himself first never offering to help his wife get the children ready. Sometimes he rarely goes out with his family. His excuse, “It’s just easier if I go alone.” Sometimes it is better to get the shopping done without everyone, but fathers who rarely find the time to go out anywhere with their family have their priorities in the wrong place. How about it’s just easier to attract women when you are all alone than when you have a woman and two children in tote? Now all fathers are not like these examples, but there are many mothers who are crying because of them.

Written by Nicholl McGuire, For parenting tips and other useful information about babies and children Click Here!