Thursday

When Fathers Aren't Ready to be Daddys


While we were struggling with the idea of being a new mother, they were trying to make sense of how was it that one night with us would slow down their lives for at least the next 18 years too! They had plans just like we did. He wanted to go places, dine and wine, enjoy a life of luxury, come and go as he pleased, sleep in as late as he wanted, but then the news came. While we talk ourselves into this idea of being a mother, there are fathers who are and have talked themselves out of being a father. To think that a child will need to be diapered, fed, rocked to sleep, entertained, carried, groomed, walked, taken to the doctor and so much more is too hard for some men to accept! They lose sleep, an appetite, a passion for sex, and a general interest in the mother of their child just from thinking about all that is forthcoming. “Why me,” some fathers will ask. Others say, “Another expense…” They didn’t want to be fathers no more than some of us wanted to be mothers. They, like us, had a choice, but there issue is a little bit more complex than ours. Let’s say he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant and he does want his child, but she rather aborts him or her. He has no control over his girlfriend’s body to make her not have the baby; therefore, he can’t stop her from getting an abortion if she is determined to do so. However, there are many more stories where men don’t want their children and the mothers do want them. When this happens, he usually becomes distant and eventually absent out of the expectant mother’s life before the baby is born. So there she is a new mother with no support mentally, financially or physically from the man she wants loved. Now she has to raise a son or daughter who will never know their father. The reality that daddy isn’t around nor does he care, makes mothers cry and eventually they stop crying and become bitter vowing that they will never love another man like they did the father of their child again.

There are those men who don’t leave the mothers of their children, but they give everyone in the family a hard time because they feel obligated to stay. He is caught in between being a player and being a father. He wants to be at home, but he also wants to be out in the street. He enjoys watching his children grow up, but he doesn’t want to clean up. Men like this, contribute to a mother’s cry on a daily basis. They have mood swings that come and go often. While sitting in front of the television watching the game, the baby cries, while mother is in the kitchen cooking and he is aggravated because she won’t go to the baby and make him or her stop crying. The family is preparing to go to an event and he grooms himself first never offering to help his wife get the children ready. Sometimes he rarely goes out with his family. His excuse, “It’s just easier if I go alone.” Sometimes it is better to get the shopping done without everyone, but fathers who rarely find the time to go out anywhere with their family have their priorities in the wrong place. How about it’s just easier to attract women when you are all alone than when you have a woman and two children in tote? Now all fathers are not like these examples, but there are many mothers who are crying because of them.

Written by Nicholl McGuire, For parenting tips and other useful information about babies and children Click Here!

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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