Workplace Changes Needed Like Yesterday - Problems, Solutions

A Subject Workaholic Moms Don't Want to Talk About - Being Available to Family

Years of studying at a university and a degree is achieved, the woman with a love for money and things, lists her future plans.  She establishes contacts on and offline.  She checks out opportunities.  She knows she has much debt to pay.  The need for money is insatiable.  When the dream job offer finally comes in, she is head over heels in love!  Ready to conquer the world for a job.  Leaders take notice how she works like a slave.  The appreciation isn't much, but who cares, she just loves that job!   And one, expects the workaholic mom to do what?  Slow down!?  Meanwhile, a wise book with much wisdom tells her not to love money.  But she ignores wisdom and continues to focus on getting that next paycheck and planning her next shopping spree. 


No man, children, relatives, or anyone else will make her take a long vacation.  If she does, one would think, She must be sick.  Jane Doe never takes off work."  Like a workaholic man, the busy career-driven woman, who took very little time off between pregnancies, repeatedly dropped her sick children off with relatives, and gets out of town as soon as the boss calls, rarely, if ever, makes a sacrifice for herself or others.  If who or it interferes with her job she politely says, "I'm sorry, can't do it, won't be there...have much to do...can you help me, I have to get to work!" even when she has more personal and vacation days stacked up than anyone!


When the woman, who loves her job at times more than her own family, is called upon by loved ones, she isn't too happy about having to take a half day or miss a day of work.  She even gets angry with herself for getting sick.  Risking the health of others, she will cough and sniff her way back into the office while a boss and co-workers admonish her about coming in looking and feeling bad. 
Fearful that she might be overshadowed, forgot about, or an enemy at work might sabotage something she has created, "I love my job" lady will sacrifice family before she ever thinks, "Maybe I can get away from work--we are not that busy."  But she never divulges those times at work when things are slow and not that bad.


In the workaholic's world, everything related to a job is top priority.  Everyone in her home has heard say a thousand times, "If it wasn't for this job you wouldn't have this...and you wouldn't have that!"  Often, her mind is in another world and she doesn't hear that closely husband, children, school teachers, preachers, and relatives say to her.  She is easily aggravated if you stay on the phone with her too long, visit her home more than she wants, and ask her for time or money.  Her response might be, "I don't have, I can't talk...would you call me before you come over...I know you haven't seen me in months, but..."


The woman with money on her mind is more comfortable talking about her job then she ever is talking about her family.  Besides, she doesn't know most of the time what is going on at home since she is often away.  It is unfortunate, but some women who simply love working too much, don't see when their men are straying, when the kids are missing them, and when the house needs to be cleaned.


Pray for the workaholic moms in your family.


Nicholl McGuire 

Workplace Programming- When the Job Means More than God,...

Transferring Skills From Motherhood Back to the Workplace

You've taken a career break for children and now you're returning to work. Whilst many mothers feel that time out automatically equals losing their career skills, in fact the very opposite can be true.

Motherhood is, in fact, practically guaranteed to increase your skills set.

The transferable skills you develop as a parent are no different in variety or value to the type of skills that can be acquired during other key stages of your life and career, such as marriage or your first full-time job. Being a stay-home parent is, after all, absolutely one of the greatest challenges there is.

Like any form of care, childcare takes it out of you emotionally, physically and mentally-especially when the children are your own! Successfully looking after your children involves continuous multi-tasking, managing your energy levels and maintaining a laser focus, not to mention clear goal setting, calmness in the face of emergencies and the ability to think outside the box.

It's really not a stretch to see how all of these skills are vital in a busy, pressurised workplace.

In an ideal world, you would be equally adept at all the above competencies. In reality, the skills that can be acquired through parenting are so innumerable that no one will have them all. Even if you did, not all of these aptitudes will be appropriate or necessary to your particular line of work. So how do you identify which skills you've picked up and whether or not they'll be useful in your work life? Here are a few ways:

• Get feedback from others around you as they will see how you've developed.
• Self-reflection -take time to think about which new skills you've developed. Try making a list of actions you take during the week and then listing the skills they deploy. Consider the settings, pressures and essential outcomes. What did you do, why did you do it and what was the result? Where else could these actions be valued?
• Think about which skills you're using whilst you're actually using them, then consider how they could be used elsewhere. For example, the next time you're making up a bedtime story with your child, acknowledge the fact that this takes imagination and communication skills, which can be converted into workplace creativity and efficient teamwork.

Of course, it's all very well thinking about using your new skills once you're back at your old role, but what if you're not actually going back there? What if you're instead looking for a new position, or even career? The lessons you've learnt will be just as valuable. Creatively use your parenting experiences to sell yourself to prospective employers. Consider seeking out voluntary opportunities where you can use your newfound skills in the wider world as well as build up experience relevant to your desired career path. Get involved with a charity or offer yourself pro bono work to those you know. Training and professional development are also options which must be seriously considered; it's worth investing in yourself.

Here are some more tips for pursing a new career direction after a career break:

• A key element of self discovery is to review past achievements and the especial skills demonstrated in effecting those successes.
• Ask yourself what your passion is, then consider how to get paid for what you love!
• Get hold of tools such as Tom Rath's StrengthsFinder; the book is available online and in good bookshops
• Gather more information about your specific career interests by networking and making contacts. Don't be afraid to ask plenty of questions. If you decide to set up your own business, take huge confidence from the fact that motherhood has definitely taught you how to juggle tasks and seize opportunities!
• To brush up on specific skills before returning to work, there are plenty of ways to do this.
• Take advantage of the many adult learning opportunities there are at local further education colleges. A directory such as Hot courses gives you an idea of the variety of classes, subjects, time frames and price ranges.
• Get a friend to train you in a specific skill in exchange for you doing something to help them. Practice at home and go to the library to get the relevant books out if necessary. The Dummies series covers almost everything.
• Still not confident that your parenting skills are going to help you back at work? Don't expect too much of yourself-take everything one step at a time, in bite-sized chunks.
• Recognise that some goals need to be worked towards and will not be arrived at with one leap. It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop. In the words of the late American football coach Vincent Lombardi, "Winners never quit, quitters never win".
• Reflect on those other key stages of your life where testing circumstances demanded reasoned confidence in one's own ability and where success was achieved.
• Focus on networking to find people who've done what you want to do and then talk to them about how they did it. Ask intelligent questions.

Yes, identifying and transferring your parenting skills to the workplace is not an automatic process, but with enough thought, preparation, patience and action it is possible. And the real prize? Absolute recognition that taking a career break to parent children can truly be one of the best career moves you will ever make!

Mary Cope is a Career Guide at Position Ignition, a very personal careers advisory service for professionals. Position Ignition works with individuals through their careers transitions supporting them through to achieving their goals. Mary is interested in taking careers advice to the next level!

Website: http://www.positionignition.com

Blog: http://www.positionignition.com/blog

Behind Every Successful Husband...

When I surf the Internet I see many successful entrepreneurs who are primarily male. I also see alot of men writing about women's interests too. So I gathered from seeing these things that behind every one of those men who brag about what they know and how much money they make that there is a wife, girlfriend or ex somewhere in the mix watching the children, cleaning the house, cooking, and working outside the home (and in many cases making more money than he!)

I will be the first to admit that I am not always following biblical principles and I do covet the life of a man on occassion. He usually has enough time in his day to do the things he loves whether it is to perform well at his job (stay late, travel, go to nice restaurants, entertain important people, etc.) However, when you are a mother who spends the majority of time with your children, you don't have the kind of time to be a five star performer, you are lucky that you don't burn the toast because you are trying to multi-task.

Mothers fight for their time. But fathers, most anyway, don't do much fighting, they just turn on the television, hang out around the watercooler on weekdays after 5 p.m. (when they should be thinking about getting home to help his wife), and leave out the home to shop uninterrupted while mom is in the other room tending to the children.

So when these family men boast about all their wonderful accomplishments, I know that behind that successful man is a mother who allowed him the free time to achieve his dreams. I can only hope that he can step out of the limelight long enough to help her with the children, so that she too can be equally successful. However, there is a price to pay for those so-called family men who don't know how to pull away from the computer, leave their jobs at a decent hour, and communicate where they are going for long hours at a time. Putting aside her motherhood role, a woman will get tired of being taken for granted and if a tear shall fall from her eye in the midst of her frustration with her man, she will eventually talk about leaving, if she hasn't already, to pursue her own dreams -- its only a matter of time.

Mothers appreciate a good man when you have him and train the one whose bad. (Training doesn't always mean living with him or talking into the wee hours of the morning either.)

Be blessed.

Nicholl McGuire
http://parentsbabieschildren.blogspot.com

6 Essential Tips For Working Mothers

"A mother's work is never done" (sigh). Just when you think you're through, you find you've only just begun. You aren’t the only one!

If the pressure of balancing your work and parenting is ultimately leading you to give both your work and family less, it is time to find a new parenting strategy and quick! When a work from home mom decides to set clear boundaries and manage her time effectively she can dramatically reduce parenting stress and boost her parenting joy. So let’s get started.

Six Essential Work Life Survival Parenting Tips for the Work at Home Mom (WAHM)

Your happiness as a work at home mom (WAHM) depends on your commitment to following these six parenting time management tips:

1. Ban your open door policy. Set your work hours and stick with them. Unless your job requires you to answer the phone, answer it only on your schedule. A work at home mom (WAHM) has no time for distractions (especially from your kids and spouse—likely your biggest distractions). This only leads to low productivity. Make certain every member of your household knows the times of day when you are and are not available for interruptions and stick with this schedule.

2. Involve your family in what you do. Talk about what you do, ask your family to help solve work problems (children often find very creative solutions), and let them help you with small jobs like licking envelopes. One work at home mom I know asked her nine year old daughter to answer the business telephone when the receptionist called in sick, on one of their biggest sales days. This boosted her daughter's self-esteem and also helped her appreciate how her mother's work put a roof over her head, food in her mouth and clothes on her back.

3. Consciously make the transition from work to home. When it is family time, focus on the family. Make certain you have cleared the work cobwebs from your head. Write down your to-do list for the next day and ask yourself before you leave your desk, "How can I make my time with my family special?" Then smile and give them a hug when you see them. Too tired? Take a 20 minute cat nap, a quick walk, meditate for a short while or say a little prayer to let go of your day, so you can be all they deserve you to be.

4. Remember it's about quality time, not quantity time. When you are with your family, be with your family. Leave work behind so you can focus on them. "Light up" as soon as they come into the room and find fun ways to do mealtimes, and even clean-up times together. Half an hour of positive can prevent dozens of hours of misbehavior.

5. Solve misbehavior time-wasters. As a family counselor, I regularly hear variations on the complaint, "My kids are driving me crazy, but I'm too crazy to find time to learn how to stop them from driving me crazy." There are simple ways to motivate your children to want to be well behaved. Invest the time now, so you don't spend more time and frustration later on (which of course takes away from time you can devote to your work).

6. Schedule your self-care time. The most critical key to your WAHM success is to nurture some of your needs so you can continually renew your passion for parenting. You need time to replenish your energy so you can be more efficient, productive and happy. With so much on your plate it is essential that you schedule a minimum of 20 minutes a day for you. Before or after the kids are in bed is generally the easiest to stick with.

By the way, if putting your self-care needs first makes you feel guilty and selfish, then don't do it for you—do it for your family. It is time that your self-care became a necessity, not a luxury so you can give more to all you do—at both work and home. Remember that if you are emotionally and physically healthy, you will be able to give more quality time to your family.

The six parenting time-management tips above will allow even the busiest work at home mom to finally have her cake and eat it too. By successfully balancing work and family, you will model for your children a fulfilled and healthy woman and your family will no longer have to deal with a "burnout-mom" but a happy one!


Kelly Nault-Matzen, M.A., is a corporate spokesperson, mother and wife, family counselor and founder of http://UltimateParent.Com —a company that provides parenting resources such as the Mommy Moments online parenting course. To gain access to more parenting tools visit http://www.ultimateparenting.com