Some people love saying that word, "busy" whenever you ask them, "How are things going?" Some people are sincerely busy while others, dare I say it, are not. At the end of a workday, many are at home watching TV or surfing the net -- I know because some of these people have been customers of mine. Their idea of being busy is watching television on weekends. Last I checked, that's called, "Relaxing." Men usually know how to relax, but women, not hardly!
So I looked around at what I considered a priority in my personal life. I found that my hobbies were running into my priorities. As much as I like to do certain things like Twitter, blog or even check my email, they aren't as important as checking in with my children. I am learning quite a bit when I step back from the computer, television, radio, and phone. In addition, the ripping and running here and there to do one thing or another also had to be decreased. I started by calling people in advance and letting them know I had a lot of plans for my children and wouldn't be on the phone much. I also put projects I started in a folder to be done later. I delegated household responsibilities to all able-bodies. Lastly, I utilized paper and pen and wrote notes wherever needed so that everyone was on the same page and I wouldn't forget promises. I explained everything to members of my household. Making sure I included how they would benefit from the changes.
I realized that all this "stuff" we think we need to do now, now now... is not what I would care about when the day comes for me to shut my eyes and say, "Goodbye world!" Instead, I rather reflect on the conversations I had with my children and the things I taught them.
May God bless you and your children this summer and please do attempt to scale back from all that stuff!
Twelve days had passed since the birth of my daughter. And on November 29, 2000 I hit a wall. Exhausted was not the word for it. I remember it like it was yesterday:
I was trembling on this inside from fatigue. I kept thinking " I just need a break". I walked passed the mirror in the bathroom and was started by the sight of myself. It had been days since I last washed my hair, the pony tail trick was not going to work much longer. My eyes were bloodshot and my dark circles had dark circles. I was wearing shorts and a a nursing bra, no top. Somewhere in the middle of the night I tossed the top off, it was simply too much work for the every 1.5 hour breastfeeding sessions. Speaking of feedings every 1.5- 2 hours for two weeks was taking its toll on me. Not to mention, I started this marathon of sorts with 18 hours of hard labor.
My days and nights consisted of feeding, diapering and repeating. I no longer ate, slept, bathed or did anything really when I wanted to: it all revolved around my precious child, of whom I waited 5 long years to have.
But still I was tired and hungry AND TIRED. Did I already say that?
Soon my husband made it home from work and I quickly handed off the baby to him. I explained I needed some time to myself. I prepared a hot bath, lit some candles and slid down into the blissful bubbles. I soaked in the warmth, began to relax and no sooner, I felt an ache in my heart and thought, "I sure miss my sweet girl." Then I started to cry. I needed those few moments to realize that I did not need the me time like I used to. Sometime during those two weeks of nonstop feedings, I changed. My world changed. I lost everything I knew: my routine, my control, and sometimes my sanity. But in losing me, I found my inner mommy. And she is the one who gets the job done. I am glad I found her, and so are my kids. Yes, I did it all over again some 4 years later and loved every sleepless minute of it.
Liz Pevytoe is a registered nurse, board certified lactation consultant who lives in the DFW Texas area with her family. Want to learn more about breastfeeding or read more stories about motherhood? Visit her site: http://www.askthelactationconsultant.com
It is no longer taboo in the society that there are mothers who chose or who are forced to remain single despite of having a child. There are already a considerable percentage of single mothers in the overall human population worldwide. And gradually, the society is embracing these women as new breeds of liberated individuals, taking part of existence in this world.
Motherhood is a way of life that women choose or are destined to take in the later part of their lives. But then again, due to morality issues, we cannot solely pertain to Motherhood as a phase of life expected only at the latter part of their existence. There are of course women who got pregnant at an early age, and have assumed Motherhood from then on. Either way, mothers are still mothers. Whatever it is that is missing in their lives, such as a husband and a father to their children, it doesn't make they any lesser of a person. It even heightens their courage and strength as women who dared morality and social standards of doing without a husband to put up with for the rest of their lives. A woman is just equally competent to become a father and a mother to her children, and sometimes can provide even more than with a man in the family.
But what have made these women welcome single blessedness in their lives?
Motherhood is hard as it is. And having to wake up every day of their lives with a man that cannot fulfill his responsibilities for the family is extremely torturous for them, than living it all as a single mother. Women are starting to fill in the gaps in the society by taking over significant roles and positions that men couldn't have done any better. Thus, the present discriminatory movements against women are of low regards already because all of it is ultimately disregarded by the women's strong will of assuming even the hardest of all tasks, which is motherhood.
And so, it is only right for the society to accept the presence and the situation of single mothers. There is no reason at all that can validate or legalize condemning or limiting the rights of women who are able to go on with life as a single mother. The people must not forget that among those single mothers come most of the intelligent and socially active persons in the world that has made great changes in the flow of history such as Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. And so we must say, never judge a single mother because in their hands did the people grew that can change the face of the earth. And so they did along with many other people around the world.
Alexa Rae Ciriaco is a single mother, a teacher, and a writer. She is currently taking up her Graduate Studies on Educational Technology. She also specializes on parenting topics, specifically regarding infants and toddlers. She is also inclined into writing articles of various niche.
Many of us are entrepreneurial moms (mompreneurs,) myself included. If we work away from home we feel like we should be home with our kids and then once we're home with our kids we feel like we should be working. If we work from home we constantly see around us what needs to be done for household chores. There's no one tactic or strategy that will work all of us when it comes to balancing work and motherhood, but there are many women that have found a way to do it that suits their lifestyle. Here are some tips when it comes to being a mompreneur and feeling we are where we should be all the time.
Efficiency: One thing that I have found when it comes to balancing work and motherhood, that especially applies for the work at home mompreneur, is establishing when you can be most productive at specific tasks. You will be more efficient this way. Work on tasks that require the most attention and focus while children are napping or having quiet time and tasks that require less dedication that have room for distraction without having to fully refocus when they are up. Get help from your partner when you need to meet deadlines or goals and be appreciative of his help. Don't forget to take care of yourself, you can't be efficient if you are overloading and neglecting yourself. There really are only 24 hrs in a day. If your schedule allows, consider setting aside one day a week to be a day where you focus on family instead of work to help ensure quality time.
Day Planner: When it comes to balancing work and motherhood, using a day planner will help us mompreneurs stay on top of our daily schedules in priority sequence and enable us to know how to better prepare for the day ahead. Combine work and family schedule to ensure no double booking. Establish your goals and how much you want or need to get done in a certain time period and break down the tasks within 'x' amount of days. Another way to feel well prepared for the day ahead is to do a few things the night before to help your day start off smoothly. For example tidying up your office space, prepare lunches, or setting the coffee pot. You can also get up before your family does to take some quiet time for yourself or get some extra work done.
Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself: There is only so many hours in a day available to get things done. Balancing work and motherhood and feeling efficient at both can be a challenge for the mompreneur. Chances are you won't complete absolutely everything you could in a day, but prioritizing by importance and priority then performing work and tasks when you can be most efficient at them will help you feel productive about the efforts you are putting in. Don't be unrealistic with your home duties when balancing work and motherhood. You don't have to be a suzy homemaker to be a good mom. By working for your family you are providing in other areas. Don't feel guilty if you don't make school costumes by hand or do school baking from scratch. Realize you are only one person and are doing the best that you can with the time given.
To see how you can have the tools and training needed to harness the power of the internet to intensify your business success as well as a way to generate income online from home please visit http://dawnstrydhorst.com/ Fill in the form and watch the videos on the page that follows to see how you can have a thriving business today!
Dawn Strydhorst is a internet marketer and member of the largest online marketing training & mentoring program. She is enthusiastic to direct those who want to learn how to effectively market online through a legitimate and very valuable online training program. For more details on how you can have a profitable online home business and/or increase success for a current business please visit http://www.cre8financial-freedom.com/
The joys of motherhood can often be shadowed by the pain of ruined friendships. Sometimes motherhood has a way of ruining college friendships. The following is a look at when motherhood ruins your college friendships, and what you can do about it.
Why it happens: The first thing you have to address is why it happens. The biggest reason that being a mom can ruin a college friendship is because if you are a mom, and your friends are not, your lives are on different tracks. They are in the career world, or out at clubs, etc. and you are up to your elbows in laundry, dirty diapers, and finding the right preschool. Your interests and priorities in life are suddenly very, very different. You no longer relate on the same level because you are not longer on the same level. Instead of being able to talk for hours on end, you usually end up sitting around with nothing to talk about. Basically, if you are a mom and they are not, or if they are a mom, and you are not, life is different.
How to make the results less painful: Many people feel a great void when they lose their college friends because they now have kids. While their kids bring them fulfillment and joy, it is still hard to not have as many friends, or to lose friendships that were once so strong. So, one of the things you can do to lessen the impact of the blow is to make new friends that are moms as well. You are not going to relate as well to those who are not moms, so if you lose one friend to motherhood, make another because of it. This really helps. Another thing you can do is simply fill the void with your child. You can take mom and me classes, teach them things, or spend time focusing on them that you would have spent going out with friends.
Protecting yourself from friendship loss: While the above suggestions work well, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is simply not to let your college friendships fall victim to motherhood. The following are three tips for helping you maintain college friendships, even after you have children:
1. Have kid-free outings with friends. If you get together with your friends, leave your children at home. Pay for a sitter. While your friends may think your kids are cute, and enjoy a moment or two with them, they are not going to want a shopping trip hauling kids around, or a movie where they are dealing with shushing kids up so they do not bother other movie-goers. So, when you do get together, don't take your kids unless they ask you to bring them along.
2. Don't lose your identity to only being "mom". One reason the friendships get ruined is because you have changed a lot. If you want to keep your friendships up, then don't lose your identity. Maintain the things that keep you unique. If you are only "mom" then your friends may not want or need your company.
3. Talk about things besides your kids. When you talk on the phone with your friends, when you are out with them, when you run into them at the supermarket, talk about politics, weather, past memories, the latest fashion, etc. DO NOT spend every second talking about the adorable things you kids did and said. It is not nearly as adorable to them, and can actually be obnoxious.
By Beverly Frank
A Female Midlife Crisis is Actually a Midlife Awakening
You should consider a female midlife crisis to be an almost inevitable wakeup call. In a sense, it is nature telling you it's time to pay attention to how you're living your life. What do you really want to accomplish? What's missing from your life? A woman who's having a midlife crisis should not ignore this powerful signal. Instead, it can actually help you, because by understanding it you will be happier.
Don't hang up when you receive your wakeup call; answer it instead.
What is a midlife crisis, anyway?
Things are much different than they used to be. Your female midlife crisis is not the same kind your mother had. Now, we don't believe that menopausal women are crazy and no longer have anything to offer once their children leave home. Instead, we realize that a midlife crisis signals a transition in a woman's life and is something every woman should be grateful for.
It's a loud and sometimes frightening signal to change things that aren't making you happy. If you pay attention to this signal, you'll be able to transform your life.
This is the perfect time to re-evaluate things, determine what's not making you happy, and then make the changes that will lead to a more fulfilling and happier life. As a result, a this transition period can actually be incredibly empowering.
You're aware and you're reading this article, so you're ready to make a change. Right?
The Symptoms of Midlife Crisis
The symptoms of midlife crisis can vary a great deal from woman to woman, depending on lifestyle and mental outlook on life. A more severe transition into the midlife years will often be triggered by major issues such as the death of a parent, divorce, job loss or the empty nest syndrome. Are you experiencing any of the following symptoms?
- A feeling of restlessness or a desire for some totally different experiences
- A fear that time is running out to get what you want out of life
- Boredom or being discontented with life, including your lifestyle and the things and people around you
- Wondering whether previous decisions were correct
- An increase or decrease in your sex drive
- Depression, lethargy and/or feeling exhausted
- Feeling overwhelmed or burdened
- Bursts of frantic energy, anger and/or irritability
- Realizing your mortality
- Questioning the meaning of life, your purpose, who you are and where your life is heading
- Overindulging in alcohol, sex, drugs, food or other compulsive behavior
Be Grateful for your Midlife Awakening
Fortunately, you're living in enlightened times. We now know that great personal growth and awareness can come out of the midlife transitional period. If you let it, this can become a time of re-evaluation, awakening and rebirth.
Now that you know your midlife crisis can actually be a gift, how can you address it and ensure that the next chapter of your life will be the best? Simply cast away any negative stereotypes. Don't be limited in any way by your age, because it's never too late to be happy and fulfilled.
You can begin again and be happy by listening to that wakeup call right now.
Life is supposed to be good. Learn more about how to start over at http://www.happyhalfway.com/how-to-start-over.html
Gale Lennard is the creator of http://www.HappyHalfway.com - How to be happy in Midlife, A Must-Have Guide for Women Over 40
There are several things you can do to be sure that what could be a mid-life crisis is actually an opportunity for transformation. It is not inevitable to be in 'crisis' and the symptoms are not all just physical. Here are five ways you can change a crisis to an experience that is transforming:
1. Feelings are not right or wrong.
Just allow them to be and FEEL them fully and you'll find that they change easily. I have learned that every feeling fully felt actually becomes blissful. It's the ones we attempt to deny that cause problems. Share them with someone who will listen but not let you wallow. A great coach can help here - or a really good friend.
2. Spend time in reflection each day.
Crisis can be averted if you see it coming. It's those who ignore the signs that get in trouble. Think about your life - where you want it to be - not where it is!
3. See your spouse (if you are married) in a whole new light.
Rekindle the experience of having both a friend and lover. Often, we take one another for granted. Find a few hours each week to be alone together and remember why you got together in the first place.
4. Reconsider your goals
Are the things you are considering realistic? Do they give you a sense of aliveness. I believe that the best goals to set are the ones that connect us with our essence rather than specifics. I mean set a goal to find more JOY each day, as an example, or look for ways you can show more LOVE to all you meet. This produces amazing results.
5. Make yourself do something you've never done before.
It could be a new hobby, or as simple as tasting some kind of food you've never eaten. Most of my friends find a new way to challenge themselves every month - it keeps life exciting.
And there are so many more. I'm all about creating a new Midlife paradigm. I've been studying (and living) this stuff for sometime now. I'd like to share more thoughts with you. When you subscribe to my free Reinvent Midlife newsletter, you'll receive instant access to a special report called, "7 Secrets for Reinventing Midlife from the Inside-Out". Go now to http://www.reinventmidlife.com
From Dr. Toni LaMotta, , The Midlife Mentor, Best-selling Author of "What You REALLY Want, Wants You", Inspirational Keynote Speaker
Miscarriage and Mothering Matters
It is several years since I had my miscarriages. And my energy since then has been invested in my Law of Attraction twin toddlers. But many times during this period I have felt the tug of my other babies wanting attention from their mother.
And also from within myself a feeling that I am not mothering them in the way that I want to....very little admiring of them, sharing their wonder, special time alone with them, talking to them.
And no laughter together, deep listening from me and the sense that we are growing together in magical ways.
These are my babies, my children. It doesn't matter that they didn't get to breath outside the womb. I am their mother and I want more for us than an occasional conversation or sending of love. I want more substance, something deeper.
This is what I yearn for now. To get to know my babies. To hear them, to nurture them, to share with them and to receive the gifts they have for me and the world. I want them to thrive too.
Convention suggests that this is not possible because these babies are dead right? That is a bit weird Deirdre.
But in death, only our physical selves cease to exist. Our beautiful essence continues into eternity. Of course we can continue to love, laugh and co-create magic......just in a different way. It helps, of course, if we have a special time or space in which we can do that.
Deirdre Morris would like to invite you to her Free Teleseminars 'Honoring Miscarriage, Celebrating Life' for women who have experienced miscarriage. Visit http://www.MiscarriageInspiration.com to sign up and join Deirdre Morris in inspiring a new understanding in miscarriage.
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