Monday

7 Things To Expect When Breaking Up With Your Child's Father

It was inevitable, we were going to break up and I believe looking back I was somewhat unprepared. So I share my knowledge in the hopes that someone who is fed up with being with the father will think carefully before ending the relationship.

1. Consider putting everything in writing and discussing with an attorney.

From who gets the children on what days and times to finances, talk to your ex about what you are willing to give and receive as a result of the breakup. Any disagreements or discrepancies should be dealt with in court. As much as we think we can avoid it, at some point you just might. A separation agreement is simply not enough when there are ongoing disputes about the care of the children, so get representation in court and have plenty of proof that is "in the best interest of the children" to argue your case.

2. Proceed cautiously when dating.

You never want to date someone soon after breaking up with a partner, at least not for all eyes to see, because this might be misconstrued as cheating which won't help matters.

3. Jealous emotions and anger out of nowhere.

You might have thought everything was okay between you and he in the beginning. That is until he starts ranting about the littlest of things. Deep down inside he is angry about you moving on with your life and jealous of the possibility that you might do it with someone who is better than he.

4. Children misbehaving.

From sleepless nights to acting out in school, children will not behave in the way that you want on a consistent basis for awhile. It takes some children longer than others to adjust to two homes, two parties, two holidays, and other changes that you and your ex-partner have set up at each of your locations.

5. Distance from relatives and friends.

Depending on how close the relationship, your relatives and mutual friends may behave differently toward you. Some may come around more during this stressful time of your life and others might act distant. You will know where these people's loyalty lies. When you discover the truth about some so-called relatives and friends, avoid talking to them about anything that is personal.

6. Money woes.

Breakups cost money especially if you are the one moving. So be prepared for the onslaught of bills. Collectors might call, overdrafts might start appearing on your bank account, past due maxed out credit card bills, etc. If you plan well and sell as much as you can to offset the bills, you might come out ahead.

7. Vengeance.

Your ex may promise not to do anything to hurt you, but if he has feelings of hurt he may do the total opposite. He may abuse joint accounts that you have yet to clear your name from. Talk negatively about you to relatives and friends. Sleep around. Ride women in his car. Stalk or threaten you. If you notice any abusive behavior or potentially abusive behavior like destroying property, notify authorities. You might think it isn't a big deal, but just think of the women who died due to a break up because they didn't tell anyone about the signs leading up to their former partner's evil actions.

There are many more things you might encounter after a break up, but just remember if you have a faith, you will see the positive in every situation. Do pray. Confide in a trusted friend. Make necessary business calls to resolve your issues. Save money.

Nicholl McGuire

1 comment:

Moo's Mamma said...

Oh wow... great post... Wish I had read this one 2 years ago... :) It is a very stressful life changing event... thanks for posting this.. if you wouldn't mind... I would love to refer to it in my blog in a future post...

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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