On Putting Up and Giving Up for the Sake of Family

I wanted to be a career mother, but the kind that wasn't going to stay in the old town that I grew up in. As much as I thought that this was a good decision at the time, now that the children are older, it seems like going back somewhere close to the old hometown might be a wise thing.

I followed my former husband's Calfornia dreamin' and like so many women who do just that, I got burned. The relationship ended with him spending quality time and conversation with my replacement. While going through that difficult period of my life, being 3000 miles away from family and friends, I met my share of military moms in San Diego and I was often saddened to see for months on end, young women raising children alone. They too, were being supportive wives.

I don't know about you, who are reading this, but sometimes we moms need to sit back and establish boundaries on how much are we going to give up and put up with for the sake of family. You might have been asked by your husband or live-in partner to relocate, to pack up the children and move away from parents, and you may have been told to quit your job and stay at home. It all seems so nice on the surface until the inside of you begins to experience fear, resentment, anger and other negative emotions.

Before you know it, one day you are looking in the mirror and realize just how much you have aged due to being sick and tired of giving up and putting up with everything that doesn't support your needs. Maybe you need mom and dad around to help you raise your children. Maybe you need your job to give you a sense of belonging and independence. Maybe you need your girl's night out. Maybe you need your faith to keep you strong. Whatever your need, that thing that keeps your sanity, keep it! Now I'm not advocating abusing or even using drugs, cigarettes and alcohol to keep you sane. If I knew any of these things used on a continuous basis would benefit people, I would be in support of every one, but I know better. If anything, abused substances, rob people of their youth, intelligence, and physical strength.

So I close with this, don't allow anyone or anything to disturb your peace of mind. If you must go along with someone else's program temporarily, at least orchestrate a means of escape in case what you are putting up with and giving up seems a bit too much.

According to the Holy Scriptures, "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." So take the time to pray a long prayer today to your God about everything that is bothering you.

Nicholl McGuire