Parents can usually tell if their children are get-ting out of line by what they say before they do anything. Yet, in the back of my mind, I wondered if my sons were ever tempted again would they remember what their father and I told them. Would they remember the punishment that they had received before giving into any future tempting situation?
This issue of childhood innocence is becoming less and less with each passing decade. I personally believe childhood innocence ends the day you let someone other than yourself watch your children. No one is as careful as a good mother. She will notice when something isn’t right with her children. The moment she suspects something isn’t right she will start investigating any and everyone. From the teacher to the superintendent, everyone is suspect including the father. She will ask questions, conduct searches, interviews, and set traps. She will leave no stone unturned. She demands names, “Who told you that? Who is Jimmy? Where does Cindy live?” A mother has zero tolerance for lies and cover-ups. She will risk her freedom, if it means that a good spanking will set the record straight. Some mothers do not want to face the reality that their children’s child-hood innocence was lost days, months, even years ago! They want everyone to believe their children had nothing to do with the writing on the wall, the theft, the fight, the rape, or even the murder. “My son would never…my daughter couldn’t…” Someone did it so it might as well have been your child, my child or someone else’s child. When the man or woman in uniform arrives at a mother’s doorstep, a mother can no longer shield her eyes from the trouble standing before her. It is a devastating truth for her when she realizes her baby did it and no one else is to blame!
As for the other meaning regarding this chapter’s title, it describes a child’s innocence even when he or she is falsely accused. The young man, woman or child has done nothing wrong, yet society still punishes a mother’s son or daughter despite the facts. There is the mother who cries for her child who is suspended from school, even though he was not at the scene of the crime. In another part of town, there is the mother who cries for her daughter who is arrested for shoplifting even though she has nothing on her. These are children who may or may not have been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and no one seems to care but mother!
While society screams, “Your child had to be guilty of something!” All she can do is say, “It wasn’t my child!” There are mother’s who cry tears every time they have to visit their innocent child in jail. Her heart screams, “My child doesn’t belong here!” She wants justice to be done for her child, just as it was done for the many other children of mothers seen on television and read about in print. Yet, it doesn’t happen for her child and she can’t help but grieve daily. “Why God? Why my child?”
I saw the grief on a relative’s face when her child was wrongly accused of a crime he didn’t commit. I saw the pain on my ex-boyfriend’s mother’s face when he had been falsely accused. How could these women fight against judges that were up for re-election, witnesses with foggy memories, and a legal aid organization that promised to help, but didn’t deliver? Mothers cry for different reasons, but by far the loudest cry is coming from the mother whose child is innocent. All she wanted to do was raise her child to be a productive member of society, but someone or something took that away. Many mothers age rapidly with this kind of stress. It is absolutely mandatory they have a faith, support system and counseling when they are faced with these kinds of issues. Without all three, some part of the mother’s being will die mentally, physically and/or spiritually.
This is an excerpt taken from the book When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire, from Chapter 19 entitled, "When Mothers Cry for their Children's Innocense."
• They help to supplement the family income
• They reduce boredom or feelings of being "under-employed"
• They are flexible and allow moms to stay at home
1. Work at Home Online Jobs
The best jobs for mothers are online jobs. These are good for mothers because:
1. She has more time for the family
2. She can make her own schedule
3. There is minimal stress in the work
4. There are cost benefits because there is no commuting to work, no daycare costs and no dress code
Most work at home mother jobs are online and they include freelance writing (blogs, e-books, articles etc.), affiliate marketing, and consulting. Finding a job or starting a business online is usually the best direction to go if you have low or no funds for start-up costs.
2. Art and Crafts
Talented women can make art or crafts and sell the products to retail outlets. The art or crafts can also be sold in online markets such as eBay and in online stores. Products can include painting, sculpting, bead making, pottery, and dress making.
Catering is a good way to make money because the hours are flexible and there is not much competition in some locations. This work is perfect for women that love to cook and bake. Most catering jobs are for small events or office functions, but can be as large as weddings or formal charity dinners.
4. Day Care Services
Starting a day care service is a good way to make money if your day is spent taking care of children anyway. Working mothers just drop their kids off and you take care of your children and the other children on your premises. Licensing is required in most states, but is not difficult to prepare for.
5. Real Estate
One of the most popular of the various mother jobs is becoming a real estate agent. Real estate offers a flexible schedule and mothers can even bring their babies to the properties for viewings if she feels her clients approve. All that is required is a real estate license and the mother can establish her own real estate agency with a work load she can handle.
Sue is the author of The Work From Home Newsletter.
To get your FREE subscription, CLICK HERE: http://www.start-working-from-home-now.info/
I must say I couldn't wait to post this lovely woman's article, please pay close attention stay-at-home moms who are stressing yourselves out for FREE! WTF!?
Anytime you quit your job to stay at home it seems the whole world thinks you have nothing but free time on your hands. Stay home parents are the first asked to do things. You're the first person asked to take care of something at school, church, family functions and darn near everything. It's as if your walking around holding a will work for free sign. You may have fallen into this trap or maybe you've just began this journey. I'm here to teach you how to say NO!
1) Eliminate the volunteer positions you don't really want to do.
2) When approached with request say No, and don't give a reason.
3) You're never expected to give a reason why, just a yes or no.
4) People build a mental list of suckers who say yes, don't get on that list.
5) Getting off the volunteer list or avoiding it to begin with gives you options.
6) This frees up time for you to invest in your family.
7) Often you get sucked into the volunteer trap so quickly you don't have time to consider options.
8) Money is a major need, it gives you options.
9) Stay home parents always get suckered into volunteering more than their share.
10) Start telling people NO! Your free time is better spent building money for your family.
11) Never before has the need to earn and save been more prominent.
12) At college time your volunteer hours won't get your kids in college or pay for it!
13) Others are looking for an out of volunteering their time, don't be their out!
The main reason you send your kids to school and other groups is to build independent skills. And while it's great to be a presence in your child's education, being there other than for special programs, field trips and the like does not give your child a sense of independence. Being too involved in school can take ownership of your child's accomplishments away from them. Giving them their space and independence empowers your child. Don't allow yourself to let guilt force you into volunteering too much. It does not serve your child well. The focus here is the well being and development of your child.
Be warned there is a group of parents who create an unhealthy competitive game of who does more. Don't fall into this group as it sets a bad example for your children. It's best to be a stranger to this group. Parenting is a full time job for any stay home parent. Use whatever spare time you have to make money for your family. The love and passion you have for your children fuels us all to do anything we can to help. This is why we fall so easily into the volunteer overachiever mode. Don't it does not benefit your family in the long run. Spend that time at home on your computer making extra cash doing one or both of the following.
1) Article Marketing - Writing Articles like this one for directories.
2) Bum Marketing - Writing and Marketing with NO MONEY invested.
I have two children. My oldest will be entering high school in the fall. My youngest has just begun middle school. I have dealt with the issues we have just discussed and know firsthand the impact of it all. I now make a great living online and have the awe and respect of my kids. It feels great! I'm an Article and Bum Marketer.
Not only do I do this, I now have my own website. Come see how it's done! Here is what I've got; a website with clarity. Jump over to stay home parents and see how it's done.
Katie enjoys sharing helpful resources. In doing so she has created relationships with certain experts and in recommending their products may receive compensation.
I thought this article was too funny! I had to post because some of you may be guilty of the following behavior:
Sometimes it is difficult to get being a Mom out of your head. The days when you were single and carefree are long gone. You are no longer your priority. You have someone else who takes up all your thoughts and actions all of the time - even when they are not there. This is my guide to things you should never say or do, even though you are now a Mom:
1. When at the dinner table.
Never try to help your friend to eat by making airplane noises and flying a fork of food around his head.
2. When in bed with your beloved.
Never say "Well done! Clever boy!" in a really condescending tone after his performance.
3. When at a restaurant.
Never ask your friend when they excuse themselves to go to the bathroom, if they want a wee wee or a poo.
4. When out shopping.
Never state the color and number of EVERYTHING out loud.
5. When going on a date to the cinema.
Never offer your date a lollipop for "sitting really well" throughout the entire film.
6. When in a job interview.
Never try to wipe a crumb off his moustache with your hanky (which you have licked).
7. When watching TV
Never make the mistake of watching the childrens channel AFTER your child has gone to bed, and not noticing.
8. When trying to be cool while waiting to be served in a Bar
Never start humming the tune to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Of course there are many more things you could add to this list.
I'm no expert, I'm a mum - hang on maybe that does make me an expert! I run 'From bump to toddler' http://www.onlinemum.com
Marriages end and when they do, many stay-at-home mothers suffer tremendous financial loss. If your spouse isn’t putting money away for your retirement too, then you will have to play catch up when you return back to work. If your spouse isn’t generous or can‘t afford to give you money to pay your bills and take care of your other needs, then you will have to figure out some way to make money while you stay at home. Being a stay-at-home mother is not easy and requires hard work.
There is this perception, probably created by lazy mothers, of stay-at-home mothers lying on the couch all day, watching soap operas and eating Bon-Bons (these are bite size, chocolate covered ice cream treats.) The true perception looks more like this, poopy diapers to change, spit up to clean up, cooking and cleaning to do, play and reading time, walks and rides with children from the park to the drug store, temper tantrums, interrupted phone calls (due to screaming in the background,) inconsistent or no napping from a child, and a host of other not-so fun stuff. If you are one of the lucky parents that may have time for a nice chocolate covered snack, you most likely have a toddler standing there with his or her hands wide open looking for you to share and God forbid if you don’t! They will object to your response with screaming and rolling on the floor!
A stay-at-home mother’s cries can come at any given moment. She may have had too many nights of interrupted sleep, no breaks from the children, and a selfish spouse, and all of a sudden the floodgates break open! She is screaming at the top of her lungs or staying in a room with the covers pulled over her head. She is thinking, “Not another day of this!” The angry cries from a baby awake the mother out of a deep sleep. Now the baby is crying and she is crying, “Life has got to get better than this!”
What these men and women from the old school don’t understand or may not remember is that being at home with children every day is not always a great experience. It becomes routine, boring and miserable particularly on gray, rainy, cold days. Unlike the childcare provider who works her shift and then she is done with weekends off and personal and vacation time stored up as well, a stay-at-home mother usually has no off days. In addition, many providers don’t have children of their own so when they clock out they are free to do what they want to do.
Stay-at-home mothers have over 12 hours of duties dedicated to their children and if she has an ill or teething child it can be around the clock! One of the biggest insults a man can give a stay-at-home mother is to say something that belittles her role. Comments like, “Why are you so tired? You haven’t done anything all day!” That statement is enough to send any tired, frustrated mother over the edge.
Stay-at-home mothers see more commercials and advertisements for children’s products than their spouses. This is great for the mother who has the money to get whatever she thinks her child needs, but for the mother who doesn’t have much money those advertisements are her worst enemy. She wants to get her children everything she thinks they need and when her partner can’t help her or even worse doesn’t want to help her, he is insulting her and he may not know it. For some diligent, industrious mothers, they won’t take his “no, we can’t buy this…” attitude lightly. They will join Avon, Mary Kay, get a part-time job, or create their own “hustle” to ensure that her shopping list for her children is completed.
Mothers, trying to be good mothers, do cry when they can’t meet their children’s basic needs. The children may want to buy lunch in school, but can’t because it is cheaper for mom to pack it. They may want to live in a house, because they can’t stand sharing a room with three other children. Their children may cry to see grandparents that live too far way and it cost too much to get them there. Some children may want to go to a favorite restaurant, but mom or dad just can’t budget for it. When a wide-eyed, happy child ignorant of life’s struggles, comes to a mother with a simple request that she can’t deliver, it makes a mother cry. For spiritual mothers, they cry out to God, “Help!” For not-so spiritual mothers they cry out to people around them, “D*mn! All I wanted to do was get my kids something and no one bothers to help!”
Stay-at-home mothers look at working mothers and are both jealous and grateful. They are jealous because they know that she can provide for her children without worry, guilt or having to ask her spouse for money, and if the relationship between her and her partner goes sour, she can leave him and still care for the children. Yet, the stay-at-home mother is also grateful because her child is her primary focus not a boss who expects her to give him or her the best moments of her day. She also doesn’t have to worry over someone controlling her coming or going. Stay-at-home mothers should also consider how great of an impact they are sincerely making on their children without relying on others to raise their children for them.
According to the Project on Global Working Families website after conducting research on the working family, the group found that “children whose parents work in the evening are significantly more likely to do poorly in mathematics. For each hour that a parent works between 6 and 9 pm, his or her child is 16% more likely to score in the bottom quartile on math tests. Children whose parents work at night are 2.72 times more likely to be suspended from school than children whose parents do not work at night.” According to the National Institute on Out-of-School-Time, “seven and a half million children in the
When stay-at-home mothers have time to think, they can create some of the greatest projects and organizations that impact society, but time to “think” doesn’t come often and time for reading and writing is scarce. For the stay-at-home mother who has a life inside her head, that doesn’t involve children, it’s exceptionally challenging to stay at home and raise a child. She has dreams, plans, and goals. A simple cry from a baby can kill those thoughts at least for that moment and for some mothers forever as mentioned in an earlier chapter. She has to fight for the time to take what is inside her head and do something with it.
For her partner, who may not understand that the stay-at-home mother, like him, has a mind of her own, and it doesn’t include children on a daily basis, he isn’t always respectful. He comes home expecting her to stay in her role as mother and do for the children, while he unwinds, eats his food in peace, and watches the television uninterrupted. For a couple who has no children at home, this is doable, but for the couple who does, he will have to step up to the plate and make some personal sacrifices, such as make time for the children and help out with the chores in the family home. When she notices his lack of respect, when she is working on a project and he disturbs her by not tending to their crying child, and rather turn on the television or the radio when she is in the room seeking some quiet time, it makes her cry out in frustration, “Don’t you see, what I am doing? How would you like for me to show up on your job and drop the children off at your office? Let’s see if you can get your tasks completed?”
All the crying, stay-at-home mother wants is some peace of mind! At one time her partner admired and respected her for the woman she was before she became a mother, but now he is different. For some men, this is too hard for them to accept and so she cries with anger in her voice, “I won’t always be at home and when the time comes I will remember how you treated me!”
This is an excerpt from the book, When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire only available at Amazon.com or click the book cover located at the top of this page.
Thank you for reading.
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- Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media
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