Stay-At-Home Mother: Dad Will Appreciate You More When You're Gone

So some of you mothers are feeling used, abused, misused, and just don't know what to do.  You live in a house or apartment with a man who says, "I make the money!  What else do you want from me?"  You in turn say, "Is it too much to ask, can you take the kids out sometime?  Give me a break!"

I experienced what I call "family burn out" on numerous occasions and sometimes my plea was heard, but sometimes it wasn't.  Maybe I was burned out from talking to the kids all day and just wanted the man of the house to make some time to talk to me.  Sometimes there were moments that I needed some help with chores.  Other times the kids wanted me to play with them, teach them, read a book, and do other stuff while dad sat and watched TV or surfed the Internet.  I started to back off from doing so much with the children while dad was home a long time ago.  The stay-at-home mother had learned how to allow dad to take over when it came to handling the children.  I began to back off first during evenings and then on weekends.

A good idea only works for so long before you notice that other areas in your relationship begin to fall apart.  You may try something else to keep the man and children interested.  You might even step up to the plate even more.  However, sometimes nothing seems to work.  Before long, you are questioning why exactly are you a mother, a wife, a lover, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker?

No man will ever appreciate a woman, the mother of his children, until he knows what it truly feels like to be all alone with the children!  He will begin to understand why she repeatedly warned him about giving the children candy and snacks before dinner.  Why it's so important that the children have a breakfast, lunch, dinner, quiet, and bed times?  Why he should consider spending more time giving the family needed attention and less time watching TV?  Why sometimes he has to put off his needs and tend to the children's needs first? 

If you have been burning out lately from your family obligations, take a moment to see what might you need to do differently to restore those positive feelings back that you once had for your family.  Communicate your thoughts when you feel comfortable to your partner.

I can tell you from my own experience that you can't do it all alone, you need the support of your partner and/or relatives and friends.  If he too is experiencing feelings of family burn out, then hopefully he will say so and together you both can create a plan that will alleviate some stress.  Notice the key word is "together," not apart.   However, if your partner doesn't recognize your need for some relief and refuses to see that he too needs some space, most likely your relationship will begin to take a different turn and it won't be positive.  But first things first, allow daddy to stay home with the children, clean up and do some other things without your sticking around.  Take advantage of your free time, you earned it!

Nicholl McGuire