Pages

Sunday

Too Busy, Trusting, and Nonchalant When it comes to the Children?


We just don’t think sometimes as busy moms.  We are so distracted with trying to complete To-Do Lists that we fail to notice red flags or the “writing on the wall” so to speak, when it comes to people watching our children.  We don’t think at times how a few too many visits over a friend’s house might have a significant impact on their personalities, how they interact with us, and what other parents might be thinking since every time they look up they see your child at their home.
I thought of this blog entry idea after thinking about some things I witnessed and experienced as a child.  It was then, that it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, there is a parent out there in cyber-world who needs just a friendly reminder to stay on her (or his) toes when it comes to parenting children.

Don’t be naïve when it comes to over-night stays.

As much as we don’t like to think of a relative hurting a child, there are those who once were abused children who never received help so now they tend to reenact their childhood sometimes by what they see, hear, smell among other things.  Some critical individuals underestimate the power of one’s senses.  They don’t realize how some things will trigger certain emotional responses and reactions in adults.  For instance, a child who is often difficult to manage might bring out the worst in an adult who during his youth was also equally hard to make behave.  So this person might desire to discipline a child in a way that is cruel or harsh because he received this sort of punishment.  Meanwhile, a busy parent doesn’t really know what is going on over at a relative’s house and most likely will side with the caretaker if her child is often a challenge.

There are those parents and others who don’t see anything wrong with permitting siblings, cousins, friends, and adults to sleep in the same bed with children.  Unfortunately with a society, like ours, that glorifies sex as much as it does, one can never be too careful about allowing others to sleep in the bed with your children.  If one must share a bed, have the child’s head lay on one end facing the other child’s toes and put a pillow between both.  Put a nightlight in the room and leave the door open.  This way if one child has been exposed to some things that you don’t know about and has plans to show and tell at least you can hinder an experimental episode.  Be cautious when children play as well.  Discourage games like “House” and “Hide and Go Seek.”

Don’t permit children to stay up late at night or arise early in the morning and hang out in rooms together without adult supervision. (Be sure the adult watching the children doesn’t have a shady track record).

Children tease, bully, snoop, and try things on one another that they wouldn’t ordinarily do when adults are present.  Why “trust” that children will behave when adults are absent for long periods of time?  This is why some parents are without their children, whether they choose to admit it or not, for neglect.  I have personally met parents who lost their children as a result of fire and gunshot wounds, because their children were curious and just wanted to see what would happen if they played with this or touched that.  While others were sexually abused by a relative, friend of the family, and/or cousins, because mom or dad was busy working, needed a break from the kids, or went out of town.  Some children don’t tell on relatives, friends and others because they are fearful that the parent will be mad, might not let them come back to see other relatives, or will get someone in trouble. 

As parents, we also need to be mindful of what children are viewing over other people’s homes.  I can’t tell you how many times I personally witnessed and heard as a child how someone got a hold of a porn magazine, a video, or taste tested someone’s hidden drugs or alcohol.  All of which were discussed on the playground, during study hall, at lunch or after school.

 With so many marriages ending in divorce and children living with a single parent who often works long hours and is unable to supervise, there are those who have little regard for children and take advantage of them in some of the most despicable ways.  Do what you can to be sure that your children are with trustworthy individuals.  Periodically pop up on your child staying over a relative or his or her friend’s house.  Be at home during your lunch hour sometimes.  Take a personal day and check to see if your child is really coming from the school and going straight home.  Don’t put any faith in a text message since you don’t know exactly where your child is and if he or she really wrote the message.  Consider a tracking device.  Of course, there are those people and children who are generally honest, but there are far more who are deceitful and lie more than they tell the truth.  Always be one step ahead of your children whether they have a good track record or not.  Lastly, don’t assume that because an adult is “so nice” and “has children too” that they are reliable, have morals, and care about your loved ones as much as you.  

To you and your family’s safety!  

Nicholl McGuire, Author of When Mothers Cry

If you or someone you know is being abused, please do call: National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

Friday

Family Trips and Useful Ideas - YouTube

Create a YouTube page today and share some of those family trips!  I started this one:

Family Trips and Useful Ideas - YouTube - budgettraveltips

Feel free to connect with me on YouTube.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and mother of four sons.  She is originally from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania relocated to San Diego, downtown Los Angeles and then found her way to Columbus Georgia recently.  She writes articles, poems and books related to parenting, spirituality, relationships, and business while maintaining this blog.

Thanks for visiting! @nichollmcguire - Twitter

Powered by FeedBurner

When Mothers Cry Blog Archive

Something for every kind of mother

abortion about us abused abused pregnant women abusive partner adult sons and daughters adultery affordable housing aging parents alcoholism andropause angry at God angry daughter angry mother angry mothers anxiety arrogant mothers at risk children attachment parenting baby care babysitting mom back to school bad friends bad mood bad mother beautiful children bipolar disorder bitter mothers blame blog creator blog for frustrated mothers blog for mothers blogs about kid stuff book about mothers borderline personality disorder boyfriend braggart mothers break up breast-feeding burdens burned out fathers burned out mothers business career mothers caretakers cars child abuse childbirth childcare childhood issues children children and bedtime children and disabilities children and school children and sports children going away to college children in jail children in war children who exaggerate childrens books Christmas blues christmas decorating co-parenting codependent cold mothers college scholarships college scholarships for mothers competitive mothers confused mothers conniving mothers controlling mothers controlling wives coupons crazy mom crisis nursery critical mothers crying over mother dating tips dating violence daycares dead mother death deceased babies deceased children deceased mother deceased mothers deceptive people defend children defensive mother dementia depressed mother depression discipline disrespected mothers divorce domestic violence donations education emotional abuse encouragement events evil influences expectant moms exs faith fake friendships family family friends family law fathers fathers don't want children fathers with children favoritism fearful mothers fears finances food forgiveness friends friendships frustrated daughters frustrated father frustrated mother frustrated mothers fun stuff to do with kids gift ideas gifted children God good days good mothers grandchildren grandmothers grandparents great grandmothers guilty mothers happy mothers holiday shopping holidays home income home organizing homemaker house house guests housing how to be a better grandparent how to be a better mother how to get exposure on this site humor husbands identity crisis ill mothers immature mothers independent woman infants inlaws insane mom intersex children intimacy jealous mothers jealousy journaling judgmental moms kidnapping lack of appreciation lazy family members lazy mothers letting go liars life lonely mothers makeovers male midlife manic mother manipulative media manipulative mothers marriage marriage and sex media menstrual cycle mental abuse mental mom mentally unstable relatives midlife crisis miscarriage miserable mothers mom guilt-trips mom quotes mommy invites mommy time mompreneur money morals mother mother and daughters mother cries mother daughter relationships mother dont want children mother in law mother pet peeves mother rants motherhood motherhood book motherhood lies motherhood pet peeves motherhood poems motherhood rap motherhood tips mothers mothers and sons mothers and stepmothers mothers day mothers day blues mothers day specials mothers intuition mothers who love too much mothers without children motivation movies music nail makeover narcissistic fathers narcissistic mothers neighborhood gossips new boyfriend new mothers new years eve newborn babies niave mothers no money for toys obesity obsessed moms others over 40 paranoia parent teacher conference parent-child bonding parental alienation parenting parenting adult children parenting challenges parenting girls parenting tips part-time mother passive emotionally unavailable mothers peace peer abuse perimenopause personal time petty mothers physical abuse pmdd experience politics postpartum blues postpartum depression postpartum symptoms poverty power prayer praying pregnancy product recommendations pushy teachers quotes from kids quotes from mom racism raising children raising sons rape rebellious children regrets relationships relatives remarriage resentful mothers role reversal safety tips save money say goodbye to dad saying goodbye to children scammers scared parents schizophrenia school breaks school vacations schools self esteem self improvement tips self love self righteous mothers selfish parents sensitive mothers separated from children sex sex trafficking sexual abuse shopping black friday shopping cyber monday shopping for children shopping for mother siblings single mothers single parenting single parents sister in law slave mothers sleep sneaky children sneaky mothers special offers spirituality spoiling children spouse spring break stay at home mothers step-mothers stepmothers stillborn baby strange mothers stressed mothers strict parents substance abuse successful mothering suffocating mothers suicide superstition support groups support groups for pittsburgh pa teen fathers teen mothers teen years television programming tell me mother you're sorry book temper tantrums the other woman thoughts about mom tips to good health tired moms toddlers toxic partners toys trauma traveling with children twins twitter unappreciated unhappy mother unlovedangry mother unsupportive partners vaccine injury video games weekends when mothers cry audio when mothers cry book when mothers cry change when mothers laugh widows witchcraft mom womans intuition work at home working mothers worry xmas young men dating older women young mothers your mother Youtube
Creative Commons License
When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on book by Nicholl McGuire, When Mothers Cry.

My Blog List

  • Today my son asked, “is there anyone here, obviously not you, mom, who is good at math?†Immediately, I took offense because we are in the middle of a p...
  • Join me for the 1st Motherhood & Words Writing Conference! The post 1st Annual Motherhood & Words® Writing Conference & 13th Annual Motherhood & Words® R...
  • *This reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product.* Head over to select Best Buy locations this Satu...
  • Brought to you by Zhena (of Zhena's Gypsy Teas) this is a wonderful subscription tea program where you can sign up, and a wonderful box is sent to you each...
  • Kersten Campbell's New Humor Book is being released in March 2015!
  • So I'm moving to D.C in a few weeks. They don't know what's going to hit them. It was a very easy decision for me. I was on a beach in South Carolina by my...
  • Yesterday the girls stopped by to practice their wiles on my sons.First they lolled on the couch, like puppies, legs and arms intertwined. Then Melissa mig...
  • Hi "Mother Load" readers- as of August 2011 I am now blogging at When Did I Get Like This? (whendidigetlikethis.com). Both of the "Mother Load" URLs (mot...
  • Dearest Mothers Acting Up Community: For years we’ve talked about creating a “magnificent revolution” led by mothers stepping into new public leadership ...
  • October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month By all means if you are breastfeeding and have a problem, a mammogram and ultrasound are compatible with breastfee...
  • Misgana has a cute little way of asking for something and then saying, "just a little bit." It has taken on a life of its own. Here she is... enjoy.
  • *Mothers Institute Days of the Week Themes* Our goal in creating our MI *Days of the Week* themes and correlating action items is twofold, to be 1) dire...
  • We, physically, have moved to Columbia, MD, but more pertinently, finally...yes finally (drum roll pls) my blog has moved to a new location! By the time yo...
  • When I was a nerdy lil thing some 50 years ago, I was madly in love with George Washington Carver. I imaged myself as Mrs. Terris Mae Washington Carver, c...
  • Welcome to Judys Motherhood Store Check out our Trendy Maternity & Nursing Wear from USA for you at the Right Price contact us : judysmotherhoodstore@gma...