Mother Thinks She Knows Best...

There will be those times when mother and daughter will disagree. You will say something happened one way, she will insist that it happened the other way. When times like these occur it makes you wish you had a "do over" button. You start to have a headache or stomachache, because mother wants to insist that she knows best when sometimes she doesn't have a clue!

I think sometimes mothers tend to think they know more then their adult children because they watched a show on television or read a magazine, but as we all know there is nothing like experience! It's easy to sit back and fantasize from a seat in your livingroom, but it is a whole different story when you are actually in the line of fire. I personally feel not just mothers, but anyone who hasn't "been there and done that" should keep quiet! I also feel because one has "been there and done that" doesn't mean that everyone will feel the same way about their experience. For example, I have heard some mothers talk about the joy of caring for their newborn and I have also heard other mothers talk about the struggles of caring for their newborn. I personally don't think that one should assume, because a mother has a newborn she is supposed to feel a certain way.

Anyway, back to the issue about mother and daughter relationships. Some mothers need to do more listening and less talking. They assume because they have "seen the movie" they know alot. When in reality, if they were put in a similar crisis they may not handle it in the way that they may be advising their daughter to handle it. That is why it is so important to be your own woman -- make your own life decisions without advice from mom. God has given us all common sense, wisdom, eyes to read, and ears to hear, it's up to us to find solutions to our problems by ourselves that way if anything goes wrong we can only blame us.

I personally enjoy finding answers to my own dilemmas without my mother or grandmother's input because what I don't want to hear later is, "I told you..."

You see, the "I told you" comments have become a huge turnoff for me. What they tell me is "Aha I'm right your wrong." Sometimes it isn't an issue of right and wrong, but they will make it seem that way. When you are having a conversation with someone and they just so happen to guess correctly about a problem you are having, it doesn't mean that for now on they should be the go to person! I think some people would love to be the one in your life who you would one day say, "If it wasn't for...I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing!" I have learned, for me, it isn't about people anymore and what they say or do, but it's about what God motivates them to do in my life. Because if it wasn't for GOD I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing.

I noticed if the advice a mother gives to her daughter before something happens in her life isn't very clear, wise, or beneficial, once the negative event occurs, the mother will try to change the details of her advice to fit her daughter's situation so that it looks as if she had warned her all along. However, the truth is she never provided enough detail about a situation and often flip- flopped (just like her daughter) in what she was saying prior to the event occuring. Now the mother wants to take credit for something she has no business taking credit for! If her daughter remembers that someone else had helped her through a situation and gives that advisor credit, her mother will quickly say, "But I told you the same thing..." Not necessarily, dear ole' mom, maybe that advisor was more clear, direct or said something entirely different to your daughter. Either way, mother doesn't always know best.

When we begin to see that our mothers are trying to dominate our lives or take credit for things they didn't do, we can do a few things: stop telling so much about our lives to them, avoid seeking their advice, and don't allow them to get the upper hand on our lives by giving them more praise than God.

Written by Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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