How Couples Manage to Stay Together at Least Until their Children's Teen Years

You heard of the many relationships that ended after years of being together.  Upon closer inspection, you noticed that some couples stayed together up until teen or young adult years before separating or divorcing.  For them, the timing was right.  It was as if they planned to end the relationship at what they felt was the right time in their lives.

As children grow older and become more independent, there is no need for miserable couples to stay together.  The focus has been on the children for so long that they don't want to have to care for one another through old age.  Freedom looks good, peace--not having to care for anyone but self.  No disputing, no annoying habits, or ugly ways to put up with, the couple reasons, "It's for the best."

So how did they manage to be together for so long in the first place?

1.  They created separate lives despite living together.

2.  They focused primarily on parenting the children and avoided unnecessary conversation about matters of the heart concerning one another.

3.  They connected with people outside of one another and used these individuals to keep them strong.

4.  They weren't always truthful about how they truly felt about one another so as to keep the peace.

5.  They worked hard not to let the children see or hear everything that was going wrong between them.

6.  They found hobbies, took classes, traveled and did other things so that they didn't have to be around each other much.

Not every relationship is centered on love, many are arranged marriages and partnerships for the sake of the children.  When a troubled couple is not very much interested in one another, like they once were, they learn to cope with one another until the opportune time to be free.  If you are in such a relationship, as long as your safety is not at risk, do what you can to stay positive and be there for the children if you know that leaving is not the best option at this time.  Who knows, maybe love will come alive for you and your partner again.   However, this doesn't come without work, honest feelings, and a desire to create the kind of relationship that stands the test of time.

Nicholl McGuire