How to Know If Your Boyfriend Is Abusive

Beware of Cyber Monday scams

Black Friday SCAMS!

You Aren't Getting Money Back from Your Purchases Online

So many people are taking advantage of all sorts of promotions to save money when they shop online for their families.  However, many are missing out.  Are you aware of the programs that exist that help retailers attract online customers while rewarding shoppers for using them?  If you are not, here's one.  Sign up using my link and be rewarded.  Click here.

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10 Things You Can Do to Snap Out of a Bad Mood

Sometimes life can really get us down, so what might help you snap out of a bad mood quickly and get on with your day without regrets, guilt trips, and more personal issues?

1.  Remove yourself from the setting that is frustrating you.

2.  Take children and put them elsewhere in the dwelling.  Be sure surroundings are safe.

3.  Prepare children to go outside and take them to a park.

4.  Make a hearty meal you have been putting off for quite sometime.

5.  Visit with friends or talk with strangers who appear to be content.

6.  Window shop, find out prices of favorite items and then compare with other stores.

7.  Take a walk.

8.  Sit outdoors like a porch, park bench, or somewhere in the home where there isn't much traffic or noise.

9.  Watch an interesting movie, documentary, show, etc. or listen to favorite music.

10.  Think of creative things you use to do or was curious about and relearn them.

The sooner you start something that uplifts your emotions, the better you will feel and the day won't be so bad.  Keep in mind, you don't want to talk to people, visit places, or do things that will alter your mood in such a way that angry emotions only intensify.  Keep the negativity away!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books and provides spiritual insight here.

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Young Mothers Speak Out

The Dr. Phil Show - Angry Moms - What Might Be Your Issues?

Visit Dr. Phil website for advice.  Be sure to list what might be going on with you if you behave this way.  Here are some things you might want to research about.

 

1.  Health related issues

2.  Side effects from prescription medicines, herbal remedies, etc.

3.  Workplace stress

4.  Unfulfilling relationship with partner

5.  Harboring unforgiveness, resentment, etc. related to children and others

6.  Hectic schedule i.e.) school activities, long work hours...

7.  Lack of sex, no partner

8.  Financial issues

9.  No support from family

10.  Moody partner

11.  Lack of sleep

12.  New diet, exercise program

 

Address the issues, think of others, and seek help.

 

Are You A Control Freak In Your Relationships?

Secret Resentment, Anger and Wish Children Weren't Born

It catches up to parents and grandparents sooner or later, the anger they had when they received the news long ago, "You are expecting."  Some family members (or maybe you) weren't ready then, never completely accepted the responsibility as babies grew, and by the time children turned into adults, there is bad blood, because parents and grandparents "were not that happy about having children" or "my children make me mad...I don't have much in life because of them!" 

There are plenty of parents and grandparents who had unresolved issues before children came along, so by the time grandchildren and great grandchildren come along, they too experience the pain that rejection causes just like their mothers and fathers went through.  It is a reality that many matriarchs would rather not face, but sooner or later what is in darkness comes to light.

"I never wanted that little girl...I knew she was going to be a problem...I always felt I would have problems with my son.  From a little boy, I could see that we would never get along..." so one's prophecy was correct, now what? 

Grandchildren come along and great grandchildren and oftentimes the hate extends to them as well.  Self-righteous, prideful and selfish kin refuse to change, because "My daddy was like that...My mother didn't show me love, so that's why I'm that way."  So the excuses continue to be made and no one breaks the curse. 

"Why doesn't grandma bother with us?  What did you do, Dad?  Why don't the rest of the family care for us?" a child says.  The truth is told to the curious child, "Some people are just not going to get along with one another even if they grew up in the same families.  There are those who don't know how to love or deserve our love," explains a mother. 

When it comes to creating a project, you know you just can't make square pegs fit in round holes no matter how much you apply force without the wood cracking.  Therefore, when it comes to familial relationships, you can't make people love one another no matter how many television shows you have watched, counselors you have visited, families you have compared yours to, and more.  There are plenty of people that get along quite nicely, because they don't connect with one another and those who are often at war because they communicate too much. 

The parents and grandparents, who couldn't wait for children to grow up and get out, are populating many senior citizen dwellings around the world.  These lonely men and women rarely get any visitors, because they got just what they wanted, God knows.  Some forgot about prayers said long ago, "Lord, I can't wait until these children grow up and have families of their own...I wish my children would just leave me alone...I can't stand this child!" If the elders never reversed the prayers of rejection they spouted off, then they are still very active.  It isn't any wonder that children feel the tension in the air when they show up to relatives' homes.  They eventually learn to keep away whether the rejection, resentment, jealousy, bitterness and more from kinfolk is ever verbalized or not.  Adult sons and daughters and their families go where they feel loved, appreciated, and where there will be the least amount of drama especially around holidays.

This secret resentment, anger or wish that a child had never been born doesn't easily go away for those who have never experienced genuine love and aren't much interested in obtaining professional counsel to be free from past issues.  The rejection of children is a cycle in many families that doesn't seem to end, because no one is aware that it is going on.  This is why countless children experience verbal, emotional, sexual, physical, and spiritual abuse in environments that are supposed to be loving and safe. 

Ask yourself, "Why is it that I or parents and grandparents resent children so?  Why do I or they act so unwilling to connect outside of periodic gift-giving and/or emergency crisis?  Why are some relatives so bitter to the point that I can't help but wonder if they were self-harmed, had been abused, or hurt others in the family?  Do I or my children have to put up with a tensed atmosphere?

Finding much fault and resentment with children is not normal.  Cursing and throwing things at or around children over the littlest of things are signs the person doing them is emotionally unstable.  It is always best to keep children away from angry people or else they behave just like them or exhibit low self-esteem and nervousness. 

Most families, especially mothers, who sincerely want relationships with their children will not do things to keep them distant even if fathers don't have good relationships with them.  But unstable, insecure, abused, and sickly women will.  I recall many stories of mothers and grandmothers who didn't have quality relationships with daughters, sons and grandchildren, and it wasn't because the children were "bad" since many had moved on with their lives and no longer came around, but it was due to these women having far too many personal issues they just didn't have the mindset and energy to deal with their families and the children could see this.  So younger relatives either coped with the negativity from dysfunctional matriarchs and patriarchs or guarded themselves and children from it.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and other books.

TIPS FOR FABULOUS HAIR IN WINTER SEASON

Winter is coming and it means that your hair will require special care. Read our simple tips and stay fabulous during winter season.

Tip #1 Cover your head
 

Make sure that you put a cute hat or scarf on your head before leaving your house. It will help to protect your hair from low temperatures, frosty air and fierce winds.

Tip #2 Keep your hair moisturized

During winter season, our hair feels really thirsty due to a cold weather and dry air of heaters. Give your locks enough moisture through deep conditioning treatments and hydrating shampoos.

Tip #3 Control static

Get ready that everything your hair touches will cause static in winter. One of the options is to keep your locks well-conditioned, you can also go for an anti-static product.

Tip #4 Avoid heat

Winter hair is more susceptible to dryness and heat makes everything worse by striping of natural oils. Dry hair means weak hair, and weak will not survive in extreme winter weather.

Read more here http://hairsalonprestige.com/

Victoria Howell

Mom Left Job and Fell Into Alcoholism

Counselors Doing More Harm than Good?

Yesterday was yet another wake up call for me and I recognized that just because some teachers are popular doesn't mean that they are good when it comes to solving mother and children dilemmas, relationships, and workplace issues.  I spend hours daily researching all sorts of material for a number of projects and sometimes I am just shocked at the sneaky ways evil shows up to mentally, physically and spiritually bound masses of people while pretending to free them. 

I thought of a psychologist yesterday, who like most of her colleagues, challenges her clients to do some inward work on themselves when it comes to their personal perceptions, feelings, etc. regarding loved ones and others.  I liked some of the exercises she provided, but I also recognized that validating her clients' emotions was definitely not something she did and even when they validated their own emotions, she kept encouraging them to explore more.  I thought, "Now how much more exploring are people going to do and when was she going to do a little more guiding them outside of their dysfunctional boxes and onto some greener pastures?"  Anyway, I noticed there was a motherly attitude that exemplified, "You should know better...You could have...You should have...the answers are within you..." therefore causing her clients to criticize themselves for even bothering to react to someone's "perceived" wrongdoing.  I thought, "They could have stayed home with the folks that offended them and heard them say how wrong they were!?"  Her demeanor displayed she wasn't buying too much of anything these hurting people were saying, but hey, a wealthy bank account makes some behave that way.  Now I use the psychologist as an example just to show you how this sort of counseling happens between mothers (who either care too much or others who care too little) and their teens and adult sons and daughters. If your offspring is coming to you with an issue, helping him or her solve it is wonderful, but how you do it, what you say, your demeanor, and other factors will indeed make or break your relationship.  Further, allowing one's offspring some room to come up with his or her conclusion is a good thing, but when you know that a son or daughter is not showing any signs that he or she is ready or able to receive your counsel, then back off and direct his or her attention to some resources that might help.

Plenty of things aren't that serious to discuss with others and we don't always need to react or assume the worse when we or "they" don't want to be bothered, but our perceptions are not always wrong about people, but some counselors (even loved ones) will have you to believe that they are and you can't trust them.  I think with victims who have been abused for years, there is always a person within who says, "Am I wrong?  Is this really a big deal?  Should I have defended myself in that situation?  Is what I am seeing and hearing truly accurate?"  Sometimes this is done so much in the mind to the point that one doesn't recognize right from wrong, good from evil anymore--the lines are blurred.  I could see what side the loveable psychologist was really on and I can't say for sure she was a child of light.  Narcissistic types love calling evil good and good evil, blurring lines, denying, blaming, etc. and also thoroughly enjoy any work that self-sabotages.  What better way to get the attention off the guilty party and his or her mean-spirited ways, when you focus solely on your so-called inaccurate perceptions, "crazy" ways, and more, while a partner cheats, a relative continues to lie, a friend steals, a boss disrespects you, and children do some ungodly things.  Meanwhile, the victim (or one of her protective alters) is behind yet another room in her mind that she was placed in by a so-called, helpful psychologist who tells her, like only a mother can, "Go to your room and think about it...not my problem...Who cares?  I have better things to do."

We can easily fall into a trap of following after counselors in darkness who love getting us to challenge ourselves, but also play with our minds during the process so that we doubt what we feel even when our responses are quite natural and/or spiritual.  If I am angry and I know who or what provoked me to anger, then why would I challenge an absolute truth in my world whether you choose to believe I shouldn't be angry over one thing or another?  Anger is a constructive, attention-getting boundary when used correctly and within reason, so why take that righteous indignation away from someone?  What about if you are sad about the loss of a loved one, don't you have a right to grieve in the way that brings you peace for how long you want?  Maybe the grief is also working as a boundary to keep troubled individuals away.  But a counselor who has vested interest in making money might cause you to think in a way that you are always relying on him or her while never reaching true peace and freedom (think: controlling pastors).  Sometimes we aren't going to get a quality life looking inside the same selves that made the poor decisions in the first place--thank God for those counselors who do respect Him, His Holy Word and direct us toward Him.  God knows the burdens can be far too great to deal with exclusively within, this is why some end up destroying selves, families, careers, and more because they can't see any way out of the boxes that people have put them in, so they become enemies of their selves.   

Wisdom, love, defending yourself, and more is what you are supposed to exhibit when someone is attempting to put your light out, suffocate your spirit, or exercise power and control over you.  Why would I take what I feel in the moment toward my accuser/foe and reverse it back on me as if the lie I have been fed (or whatever else) applies to me while being told in so many words I shouldn't be feeling that way?  But this is what some of these quack counselors attempt to get you to do over and over again before you are taking some prescribed medication or doing other things to put you on a fast track toward suicide or murder.  "There must be something wrong with me...maybe I am a nut.  No wonder he doesn't love me," one might say.  Maybe you are a bit odd, have some "issues," but good counselors are supposed to help, not leave it all up to you to do everything to heal you.  If that's the case, you don't need them.  Meanwhile, the counselor who has brainwashed an individual into thinking he or she is one's own god takes no responsibility for provoking negative reactions to the lies, twisted doctrines, and other dark things he or she supports.  Think before you go under hypnosis, who are you trusting your mind to?

When it comes to the people and things of God, some ill-informed counselors, know full well that it isn't a single event that causes someone to react, but a series of them leading up to emotional outbursts, mental breakdowns, and more.  But our media would have us to believe that the poor mother went crazy over some of the most strangest things before hurting a spouse or children.  Rarely, does a group say, "Well how did she get to that point where she lost it?"

During those moments we self-talk, we are supposed to be taking responsibility for times we didn't say or do something when people or things were hurting us.  That is often what many of us mothers are guilty of along with not handling issues as soon as they happen.  In addition, we might fail to document problems due to being tired, busy, lazy, etc. and then forgetting about them, and/or not expressing concerns for fear we don't want to hurt someone's feelings or reputations.  Women are good for doing these things then later blowing up on everyone and everything because we didn't feel our personal needs were met by a partner, children or grandchildren.  Did we tell anyone how we felt or did we just sweep things under the rug when people refused to help us?  "No big deal, oh well..." some women say about a situation(s) when they know they are dying inside.  Others say more than enough and are pushed away, misunderstood or treated unfairly as a result.

If you should find yourself seeking a professional counselor on or offline or using family and friends as listening ears about problems, know that you have reached the point where you don't feel like you can manage it.  This is why it is so important to know who you are trusting your life to whether it is recorded messages online or face-to-face counseling sessions.  A good adviser is going to provide you with solutions that go beyond self-reflection exercises.  Of course, it is extremely helpful to question whether your perception in a matter is indeed accurate, but you don't want to stay in that place to the point that you are doing things like:  doubting your feelings, whether events happened in the way you saw them, was what you heard true, belittling yourself, esteeming an abuser, often thinking something is wrong with you for reacting, etc. 

No matter what someone says or how comical, motherly, and clever a person might be in showing you some silly, dumb or stupid things about you, stay away from becoming your own worse enemy, abusing yourself, while elevating popular counselors, codependents and abusers.  Most of all, check to see if you are doing these things to others.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books, blogs and provides online administrative support for individuals and businesses.

 

When Mothers Cry - Too Much Activity, Slow Down

Something is happening with many mothers all across our land.  The school year hasn't long been underway and yet they are tired, impatient, and easily angered.  They have hot flashes, mood swings, headaches, and other pain.  Partners are bewildered.  Children stare from a distance.  "There is something wrong with Mommy," they think.  But no one cares too much after the tears, yells, and door slamming.  An hour or two later someone will be asking poor mom, "Where did you put my....and what are we having for dinner?  I need your help with..."  The family doesn't seem to care too much.  Life goes on.

Health issues will arise as a mother ages whether she is currently young or mature and one day she will be unable to put her medical conditions off any longer.  Not that long ago, I had a dream where myself and a young lady were in a hospital room together.  I felt like we were there for surgeries.  Neither of us were pregnant.  It was obvious to me that we were waiting on doctors to fix our situations which we didn't talk about in the dream.  This sort of thing happens in our waking life, we know we have our share of challenges, but making the time to deal with them is a fight especially when people seem not to care.

A relative once told me that if you don't care about you, who will?  So true.  The warning signs are there as our bodies transition and so too are the supplements, prescriptions, healthy food, exercise, and more that we need to ease many of our symptoms.  But what also has to occur for stressed out mothers to get back on the fast track toward healing is needed peace and quiet.  Rest is essential.  If it means you have to take a personal day off from work, save money to enlist the help of a babysitter or relative or scale down on those extracurricular activities, you will need to do it, if not for you, for those who are troubled by your fluctuating emotions.  I know for a fact doing these things has helped me and others that I know.  I am a strong advocate for doing less to alleviate stress.

1.  Walk more--no matter your size.
2.  Watch your portion sizes and eat healthy meals.  Look up some recipe ideas.
3.  Stretch especially after a meal.
4.  Listen to calming music.
5.  Create a schedule for yourself that includes time away from partner and children.
6.  Meditate about positive and inspiring things.
7.  Pray and get in touch with your Creator.  Ask Him to show you things about yourself and provide healing for your troubled soul.

As mothers, we can easily fall into the trap of "I care" to the point that you are acting ugly toward others.  Some moms are competitive about there so called, "I care" statements.  Witnesses usually see selfishness and greed show up with many of these women.  It isn't that they care so much, but they have a drive to be on top of everything and everyone.  They eventually burn out or worse end up in hospitals like what I saw in my dream.  Here we were an older and younger woman, both attractive, and attempting to smile through our pain and neither of us would dare share what our weaknesses were with the other.  We were waiting for the doctors to fix us.

Something to think about.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books, maintains useful blogs, and has been inspiring people on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 since 2008.

Want to Move? Family is Stopping You from Living Dreams

Sometimes what is keeping so many mothers from accomplishing their dreams is where they live.  They can't seem to move out of their cities because parents, grandparents, in-laws and others are telling them not to go.  Since having children, not only do most mothers sacrifice personal goals, but they also find themselves trying to appease their kin for the sake of giving children a chance to bond with loved ones.  However, what if the "others" are the cause as to why you made some decisions that are not leading you toward happiness but depression?  And what if these "others" are keeping things stirring up in your current relationship?  Then what?  Do what you most desire!

One of the best thngs I did in my life was go where I knew spiritually, mentally and physically peace was for me.  The children were still going to grow, thrive and build relationships of their own no matter their age with or without extended kin.  Not one time did any of my children say, "I wish I could have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc. come see me."  Instead, they were fine with telephone conversations, e-mail, and periodic visits.  Children know when they are genuinely loved and appreciated and unfortunately older people who are selfish aren't much interested in the youth only what they can do for them.

So live your dreams and don't let people stop you from achieveing them.  Your children are not on this planet to feed egos and perform service exclusively for your parents and grandparents and neither are you.  Life is too short--enjoy it!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Say Goodbye to Dad, and other books.