Pages

Monday

When the Kids Question Your Life, Decisions and Why You Do the Things that You Do

I didn't ponder much about what my kids might say to me having a front row seat in the movie I call, "My Life" for some years now.  But in recent years, the questions, comments and concerns have been surfacing from a seven, eight, fourteen and fifteen year old.  They are curious. 


I have been asked questions from, why years ago I wasn't married when I was pregnant to "Do you love my dad?"  I was also questioned about why parents allow their daughters to dress "ratchet (terrible) with booties (backsides) showing?"  I guess I am supposed to speak for them too.


The questions kept coming about things like: why God did the things he did in the Bible--like let people die, what did I do when I was their age back in the day, could I let them see a photo when I was a kid, and even comments about things they didn't like about other relatives.  I had to agree with most of what they said when it came to relatives. 


Children are observant and they know who is friend and who is foe in one's family.  They also know when parents have "issues" with one another.  They also don't like when relatives say things like, "Do what I say, not as I do."  One child made a comment like, "Aren't they supposed to be teaching us?"


They also know when they are being taken advantage of and don't mind speaking up when they see lazy adults not doing their share.  They know when they are being short-changed funds too.  One son told me, "(Unnamed) said he was going to give me more money than he gave me for doing some work."  He wasn't too happy.


Children remember what we say and do.  They are shocked when we start revealing that we made mistakes "back in the day..."  They are impressed when you make smart decisions and their eyes get big when you tell them things like:  when you fought someone and won, went somewhere fun, and when you got a lot of money and bought things that you always wanted.


The conversations can go from simple to intense in a matter of moments.  I found myself having to censor some things about my life, simply because, like them, I have my privacy and  I didn't want them using what they knew to excuse their own bad decisions.  "Well mom did it, so it's okay."  Some things are just not right no matter what kind of spin we put on them and children will call you out on them sooner or later usually when they are having one of their rebellious moments.


I am honestly happy that I have curious children who question me deeply at times and feel comfortable enough to talk to me about what their friends say and do.  I just keep them in prayer and continue to maintain a safe relationship and environment where they don't have to walk on egg shells, worry, fight, lie, and do other things to survive.


Nicholl McGuire wrote When Mothers Cry.  Get your copy here.  

No comments:

Powered by FeedBurner

When Mothers Cry Blog Archive

Something for every kind of mother

abortion about us abused abused pregnant women abusive partner adult sons and daughters adultery affordable housing aging parents alcoholism andropause angry at God angry daughter angry mother angry mothers anxiety arrogant mothers at risk children attachment parenting baby care babysitting mom back to school bad friends bad mood bad mother beautiful children bipolar disorder bitter mothers blame blog creator blog for frustrated mothers blog for mothers blogs about kid stuff book about mothers borderline personality disorder boyfriend braggart mothers break up breast-feeding burdens burned out fathers burned out mothers business career mothers caretakers cars child abuse childbirth childcare childhood issues children children and bedtime children and disabilities children and school children and sports children going away to college children in jail children in war children who exaggerate childrens books Christmas blues christmas decorating co-parenting codependent cold mothers college scholarships college scholarships for mothers competitive mothers confused mothers conniving mothers controlling mothers controlling wives coupons crazy mom crisis nursery critical mothers crying over mother dating tips dating violence daycares dead mother death deceased babies deceased children deceased mother deceased mothers deceptive people defend children defensive mother dementia depressed mother depression discipline disrespected mothers divorce domestic violence donations education emotional abuse encouragement events evil influences expectant moms exs faith fake friendships family family friends family law fathers fathers don't want children fathers with children favoritism fearful mothers fears finances food forgiveness friends friendships frustrated daughters frustrated father frustrated mother frustrated mothers fun stuff to do with kids gift ideas gifted children God good days good mothers grandchildren grandmothers grandparents great grandmothers guilty mothers happy mothers holiday shopping holidays home income home organizing homemaker house house guests housing how to be a better grandparent how to be a better mother how to get exposure on this site humor husbands identity crisis ill mothers immature mothers independent woman infants inlaws insane mom intersex children intimacy jealous mothers jealousy journaling judgmental moms kidnapping lack of appreciation lazy family members lazy mothers letting go liars life lonely mothers makeovers male midlife manic mother manipulative media manipulative mothers marriage marriage and sex media menstrual cycle mental abuse mental mom mentally unstable relatives midlife crisis miscarriage miserable mothers mom guilt-trips mom quotes mommy invites mommy time mompreneur money morals mother mother and daughters mother cries mother daughter relationships mother dont want children mother in law mother pet peeves mother rants motherhood motherhood book motherhood lies motherhood pet peeves motherhood poems motherhood rap motherhood tips mothers mothers and sons mothers and stepmothers mothers day mothers day blues mothers day specials mothers intuition mothers who love too much mothers without children motivation movies music nail makeover narcissistic fathers narcissistic mothers neighborhood gossips new boyfriend new mothers new years eve newborn babies niave mothers no money for toys obesity obsessed moms others over 40 paranoia parent teacher conference parent-child bonding parental alienation parenting parenting adult children parenting challenges parenting girls parenting tips part-time mother passive emotionally unavailable mothers peace peer abuse perimenopause personal time petty mothers physical abuse pmdd experience politics postpartum blues postpartum depression postpartum symptoms poverty power prayer praying pregnancy product recommendations pushy teachers quotes from kids quotes from mom racism raising children raising sons rape rebellious children regrets relationships relatives remarriage resentful mothers role reversal safety tips save money say goodbye to dad saying goodbye to children scammers scared parents schizophrenia school breaks school vacations schools self esteem self improvement tips self love self righteous mothers selfish parents sensitive mothers separated from children sex sex trafficking sexual abuse shopping black friday shopping cyber monday shopping for children shopping for mother siblings single mothers single parenting single parents sister in law slave mothers sleep sneaky children sneaky mothers special offers spirituality spoiling children spouse spring break stay at home mothers step-mothers stepmothers stillborn baby strange mothers stressed mothers strict parents substance abuse successful mothering suffocating mothers suicide superstition support groups support groups for pittsburgh pa teen fathers teen mothers teen years television programming tell me mother you're sorry book temper tantrums the other woman thoughts about mom tips to good health tired moms toddlers toxic partners toys trauma traveling with children twins twitter unappreciated unhappy mother unlovedangry mother unsupportive partners vaccine injury video games weekends when mothers cry audio when mothers cry book when mothers cry change when mothers laugh widows witchcraft mom womans intuition work at home working mothers worry xmas young men dating older women young mothers your mother Youtube
Creative Commons License
When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on book by Nicholl McGuire, When Mothers Cry.

My Blog List

  • Today my son asked, “is there anyone here, obviously not you, mom, who is good at math?†Immediately, I took offense because we are in the middle of a p...
  • Join me for the 1st Motherhood & Words Writing Conference! The post 1st Annual Motherhood & Words® Writing Conference & 13th Annual Motherhood & Words® R...
  • *This reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product.* Head over to select Best Buy locations this Satu...
  • Brought to you by Zhena (of Zhena's Gypsy Teas) this is a wonderful subscription tea program where you can sign up, and a wonderful box is sent to you each...
  • Kersten Campbell's New Humor Book is being released in March 2015!
  • So I'm moving to D.C in a few weeks. They don't know what's going to hit them. It was a very easy decision for me. I was on a beach in South Carolina by my...
  • Yesterday the girls stopped by to practice their wiles on my sons.First they lolled on the couch, like puppies, legs and arms intertwined. Then Melissa mig...
  • Hi "Mother Load" readers- as of August 2011 I am now blogging at When Did I Get Like This? (whendidigetlikethis.com). Both of the "Mother Load" URLs (mot...
  • Dearest Mothers Acting Up Community: For years we’ve talked about creating a “magnificent revolution” led by mothers stepping into new public leadership ...
  • October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month By all means if you are breastfeeding and have a problem, a mammogram and ultrasound are compatible with breastfee...
  • Misgana has a cute little way of asking for something and then saying, "just a little bit." It has taken on a life of its own. Here she is... enjoy.
  • *Mothers Institute Days of the Week Themes* Our goal in creating our MI *Days of the Week* themes and correlating action items is twofold, to be 1) dire...
  • We, physically, have moved to Columbia, MD, but more pertinently, finally...yes finally (drum roll pls) my blog has moved to a new location! By the time yo...
  • When I was a nerdy lil thing some 50 years ago, I was madly in love with George Washington Carver. I imaged myself as Mrs. Terris Mae Washington Carver, c...
  • Welcome to Judys Motherhood Store Check out our Trendy Maternity & Nursing Wear from USA for you at the Right Price contact us : judysmotherhoodstore@gma...