Tuesday

Regrets: When Mothers Cry Over The Past

"Why bother? What good is it going to do now?  It's over!  You are free!"  so many mothers with tears in their eyes forget about freedom when their minds are entangled with, "I should have, could have..."

Years ago, I had regrets about dating the wrong people, having children out of wedlock (thanks to self-righteous Christians), leaving San Diego, and other things I really don't want to conjure up at this time, but you know how thinking about the past can be.  But I chose to move on!  I survived through hell and high water!  I wasn't about to let haters who win.  I had accomplished much in life years ago and still working hard to date.  What someone else's perception of me, stopped having influence when I finally made up in my mind, "No more!"  There would be no more attitude, mind games, lies, cover ups and secrets.  God exposed the foolishness anyway.  I was grateful that my past was no longer my present and future.

Let's just be honest, we have some mean people in our families, churches, civic groups, workplaces, and even in our households who honestly believe that they are better than others because of temporal things i.e.) more money, cars, property, etc.  I heard a relative once brag about how she was a home owner and talked negatively about those who rented, she forgot about my situation or didn't care.  I talked to God about her and the braggart attitude.  It wasn't long before she was humbled.

You see, as mothers we can easily go from delivering children out of our wombs to replacing those wombs with stress, sometimes brought on by others.  It isn't any wonder why some moms still struggle mentally, physically and spiritually.  They are still carrying other people's pain in their wombs long after they delivered babies!  These women are still pregnant, but not with life, they are pregnant with sickness while dreams are like amniotic fluid just swaying as they move along in life. These moms are still crying over the past.

Being pregnant with past regret will only make matters worse!  You will go into labor but deliver nothing more than poison if you don't seek a cure for your ills.  Children will look at mom's example and either pity her, take advantage, of her or keep away.  "Mom has issues...honestly, I wish I could be anywhere, but around her.  Why does she act so crazy? What's up with her?" say the children.

Yes, what's up with mom?  Does she even know the pain she is spreading around the family home, at work and elsewhere?  Does any one care about mom?  What can she do to make a difference in her life?  The answer:  Move on!  Work through the pain of the past.  Write down what you want/need and place the note in a Holy Bible or elsewhere.  Then post the steps you need to get there from here. Be honest with yourself behind closed doors.  Don't take anyone's opinion or observation as fact. Envision what other people say placed in a box, buried and then blown up, never to be attached to you again!  Don't be oppressed by what people knew about you when.  You give them power when you do that!

Some of the best medicine for getting over the past is focusing on the present and future.  The things that are in your control.  Whatever you wish to achieve, you will, because every time a negative thought comes into your mind about the past, you will reverse the curse!  You need to start telling yourself, you are loved.  That you are doing the best you can to provide for your family.  You will not be controlled by those who don't appreciate or love you.  Each day that you awake, you are getting closer to the things you want when you keep fighting stinkin' thinkin'!

I recall looking at photographs, walking in the cold with freezing ice coming down my face, and I was angry treading along in that snow near Lake Erie in Cleveland.  I refused to do that anymore!  I made up in my mind--never again.  I looked at every city that didn't have snow after that incident and I picked one.  I ended up in San Diego with my first family tagging along, but later moved to Los Angeles.  I was disappointed about the move later, and at times wished for San Diego because that was the first spot I moved to when I left Cleveland with my family back then in 2004.  I got over the sentiment, because I knew I needed to focus on what Los Angeles had to offer.  I was starting a new life without part of my past and I told myself, "I am a survivor."

When you make up in your mind to do something you really want to do, there is no stopping you! You post the reminders of your tasks.  You sit and stare at your goals.  You come back and do the same whether you do anything or not.  Then one day, you will get tired of doing nothing and will just do it--I'm a witness!  From painting to getting a job, I wanted to get some things accomplished at different times in my life, so I had to get centered--wrap my head around some things.  I had to take a break from the normal routine and sit quietly.  I cut off TV, cell phone, visiting those who didn't support me, and I put limits on doing certain tasks that didn't help toward goals.  To date, I am still in that mode of thinking and I know for some, they don't get it, and I'm not explaining either.  You tell yourself, "I will not be stopped from getting what I intend to get done tonight, today, tomorrow..."

Children, partners, noises outside, hunger, menstrual cycle--you name it and it all is so distracting! These people will want something.  Relatives will call out the blue.  Suddenly busy professionals have time for you and so on.  But just like some of them had to shut you out, make their money, attend their events, sign their names to contracts, and do whatever else, now you are the busy one!

So for those of you who are tired of whining, complaining and even crying about your haves and have-nots, do what you can!  Start supporting yourself!  God bless.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel nmenterprise7.  Chances are you might find out some more discoveries about why you are still entangled with past issues over there--be awakened to truth, it can be a hard pill to swallow!

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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