Friday

Your Child's Eyes Will One Day Awaken to Your Truth

Most mothers recognize many of the obvious signs that a child is developing in his or her mind, body and spirit. But what some don't see is that awakening that takes place over time. The kind of enlightenment that happens with a child when he or she wants to know more about parents beyond what they say to them and do. In the following examples, you will notice how a child reaches a point in his or her life when parents aren't what they appear to be. A tween discovers daddy is not the man that he or she was told he was by family members. This tween starts connecting the dots and sees that lies have been told for years about daddy's profession—no wonder he was often absent, he had been serving time. A child gets a strange feeling about mom, the kind that makes her just stare at her parent for a long time without saying anything. In time, she notices that mom is troubled—something is wrong with her. Then there is a teen who sees beyond smiles, laughs, gifts, and compliments from parents, he begins to see that his parents are really not that nice. They are mean toward each other and others. At times, they pop pills, drink and do other things to make them feel good.

Now when a parent sees that a child is on to them, so to speak, he or she works frantically trying to cover up the truth. “Honey, that's not what you think...oh I really do love you...No, I would never say that about you, you weren't a mistake. That man is your dad, I know he doesn't look like you...” says the parent. Meanwhile, the child doesn't believe mom or dad's attempts at brainwashing his or her mind. The lies, cover ups, and niceties don't suffocate sad, angry, or bitter feelings—something isn't right. So the son or daughter just says, “Okay.” But deep down inside knows differently. Sooner or later what is in darkness will come to light. A parent who sincerely loves the child more than keeping a secret will speak truth. He or she won't allow lies to eat up a child inside. A parent who cares about her son or daughter doesn't want personal as well as external demons to attack his or her child into adult years, so the truth must be made manifest. But those who believe that they are protecting a child while serving his or her selfish interests will not speak one word of truth. “I don't want my baby to worry...I prefer not to tell...she isn't ready,” the parent reasons. However, the child's eyes have awaken and the questions are being asked, don't keep creating a public relations campaign, mom and dad—speak truth.

Many parents don't want their children asking too many questions about them and they definitely don't want them asking others about them either especially if they aren't comfortable with how they lived in the past. So mom or dad starts advising the child not to ask about this or that. For some parents, they will even go so far as to threaten a child for wanting to know more about them. “Why do you need to know that? Stop asking so many questions, or else.” the parent cautions.
 
Fantasy goes away and reality begins for many perceptive children. For instance, a son learns that his often happy mother is really a sad, depressed one on pills that make her jovial. A daughter finds out her father really wasn't happy about her arrival and for years grieved about not having a son. She learns the hard way: why dad was hard on her growing up, why she acted like a Tomboy, and later became a lesbian. When children discover that what people say don't align with what they do, they want to know why? They need to know what is it about that person that makes them feel scared, angry, nervous, sad, or confused when he or she comes around. Children can pick up on feelings from parents of not being wanted. They may not recall certain details when it comes to bad things that happened to them, but they know that something wasn't right no matter how much mom reasons that something was okay or didn't happen.
 
Many parents work hard to keep secrets secret. But sooner or later, a child will sense that something is not right, and for many, they will search and search until dots start to connect. What's sad is that for some parents even if lies are killing a child mentally and physically, they will not reveal truth! They will blame the child when they see their issues show up in the child. For some parents, they will act as if they don't see the elephant in the room. How can one expect a mere child to carry the burdens of adults? If a curse is in a family, don't act as if it's the child's fault. Those who tell falsehoods, act double-minded, slander, and do other things to hurt others reap what they sow and unfortunately sometimes the sins of the parents fall on their children.
 
A child turned adult seeks his or her identity, purpose in life, and looks for reasons as to why they feel the way they do about mom and dad. Patting a boy or girl on the head and saying, “Don't worry.” Is not good enough after children reach a certain age.
 
From sex to drug addictions, a young confused man or woman finds his or her temporary peace in these things, an attempt to run away from those nagging feelings from childhood. Unanswered questions, verbal and physical abuse, lies told about what a child sees, hears, and more will drive a poor boy or girl insane. Don't wonder why some children go off, act weird, or don't seem to have their heads on straight, it isn't always about a mental condition with all children, sometimes it is a heart condition. A deep longing to sincerely know parents and a desire to be loved honestly and innocently.
 
A self-absorbed, quiet parent, a controlling, abusive parent, or one who has a mental issue, can be a child's worse enemy. Think about how these type of people affected you when you were raised by them, dated or married them, it wasn't a good feeling now was it?
 
So don't think for one minute children are not paying close attention to you mom or dad, because they are! They want to know what makes you tick. Why do you say and do the things that you do? How do you really feel about them? There comes a point that we all want truth, no more story-telling, game-playing, cover ups, and “you better not say...” statements. “What is really going on and why do I feel this way about you, mom and dad?” says the awakened child.

Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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