Saturday

Opting Out of Mommy Invites

The invitations have come to me over the years to attend playgroups with mothers, to go to someone’s child’s birthday party, to sit with a parent watching children at home, to watch a school performance, or to walk through a children’s museum with another parent. Do you already see what is wrong with this picture? If you don’t see by now what I am getting at then you are most likely the parent asking everyone to attend various kid functions. You probably have wondered why your friend or even your sister keeps opting out. I will tell you in the coming paragraphs why. However, if you are not the parent always asking another parent to attend a children’s event but are usually the one being invited, but you don’t go, I’m not mad at you, if anything, I support you.

I am a mother of four so the last place I want to be invited to is yet another children’s event. If anything, I want someone to invite me to a place that has no children! When I have what little free time I can get, I try to stay away from family restaurants, family events, family functions and anything else where there might be a child present. I see absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to go somewhere anywhere where there is no children present even if it means running a hot bath while no one is at home or sitting alone in a room by candlelight saying the words as one health nutritionist, Rose Carter, suggests, “Positivity in, negativity out…”

I don’t understand why a mother would be insulted by another mother not wanting to attend children’s events. I don’t get it, a mother runs herself ragged trying to keep up with every little activity her children participate in and then wants you to tag along!? She then becomes offended because others just aren’t interested in what her little itty bitty boo boo is doing. I personally think that some women have forsaken being a woman altogether for being a mother. Here’s a quick test you can do on yourself or someone else to see if you have forsaken who you are as a woman. Try spending some time alone without thinking or doing something for your family. This means “no” doing the following: talking about your man or children, doing laundry, creating a shopping list, putting your children’s toys away or ironing their clothes, doing things around the house to help your partner, shopping for things for the house, or anything else for that matter that have nothing to do with finding your sense of self. I bet you most women will fail! That valuable time of peace could have been best used to do the following: your hair, shave your legs, put some make up on, take a long walk, watch a movie you have been putting off, call a girlfriend, make appointments to see a doctor, a friend, or anything else you have been procrastinating about, or answer all those emails you have been ignoring from family and friends (I’m sure some of them are insulted by now and are talking about how you never respond to your emails.)

There are those women who love the children’s events because they get the opportunity to meet like-minded mothers and for that I understand, because I don’t mind attending them within reason. But once I have met a mother at one of those gatherings, I am not interested in going places with her with her children or mine in tote all the time. I don’t want to talk about what great thing her child did, so that she can question me about what great thing my child did then later she is comparing her child to mine. To be quite honest, I could care less about what anyone’s child is or isn’t doing. It’s hard enough just raising my own to be concerned about other people’s children. When a parent starts bragging or venting about their child to me, I personally give the child’s name to God and leave it there. I don’t say too much if anything about my own usually I change the subject and talk about anything but my man and children.

There are plenty of mothers in this world, actually more than enough, but where are the women? Where are those youthful spirits who use to say, “Hey why don’t we go to the mall and just try on stuff? What about joining this group and having fun meeting new people? How about we create something that will make others come out the house and live a little? What about doing something that will take our minds off the man and the children? I’ll be over to pick you up, you better be ready!” As I write I think of limo rides, flea markets, vacations, bed and breakfasts, bowling, skating, laughing while walking through a sexy novelty shop, and a whole slew of other fun, crazy, and downright money-making ways to get women together not mothers! If you are this kind of WOMAN, I praise you for it!


Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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