Wednesday

The Defensive Mother

"Face what you fear, fix what you have control over, and figure out what's wrong with you before someone else does it for you." This is what I said to those who follow me on Twitter and I mean it with every ounce of my being! Lately, I have been on a mission to not only write articles, books, and poems, but snippets of the most informative and empowering things from my spiritual self, because I know my days are numbered.

The closer you walk in the spiritual realm the closer you are to seeing what your destiny is in life. A woman who has brought another human being in this world should be walking somewhere not just anywhere, because she has been chosen by something, much greater than man, to take on the responsibility of shaping the future. Oh yes, fathers must play a part too, but I am not talking about fathers today. What I am saying is that when you are privy to knowledge or get that "Aha moment" like Oprah has said over the years, you better do something with it. But the defensive mother, she does nothing but fight.

You may know of her or be her, she is the woman who is warned by other mothers about some negative actions she is participating in, and she will find every excuse in the world to not listen or puff herself and family up so as not to feel the conviction in her spirit.

You may have the intuition to see through her as she speaks when others can't or choose not to and look away. If you do ignore her negativity and just go along to get along then you are no friend.

In order to protect herself, she will digress, brag, use how God is with her and anything else to keep you from speaking the truth. For instance, the defensive woman will tell you, how wonderful her partner is, but wasn't it only last week when he cussed her out and reduced her to tears? She tells you how wonderful her children are doing, but wasn't it only days ago that one of them was in trouble? She talks about how much money she has, but wasn't it less than a year ago that she was asking around for money? Now she has painted her lips red, puffed her hair out, squeezed her body in a tight girdle, put a short dress on, and slipped into a pair of pumps way to tall to stand in much less walk in, and she doesn't want to hear anything you have to say.

She looks at you like a fool. She rolls her eyes, tosses back her hair, and acts like her child is doing something so important that she must tend to him or her while you talk. You almost feel compelled to be quiet and forget about her and what you were going to say. But there is a powerful prompting in your spirit that makes you blurt out with, "Listen! You must hear this..." Then what follows is something you have observed in the way she is handling a matter or matter(s.) You find yourself trying to give her legs to stand before her life falls in those heels that she is wearing especially if she chooses to go out into the world marketing herself in that way.

Oh she is going to fight you! She is going to tell you about yourself. "Well what about you...and remember when...and you think..!" But you don't hear all of that, because if you are a spiritual woman, you will be saying things that will haunt her for days until she finally says, "Now I know why you said what you did..." She may even put pride aside and say, "You were right."

I wrote this because I have met far too many defensive women who dance around issues in an attempt to run away from wisdom. They think that because on the outside they appear to have "it going on" that no one can tell them anything. But guess what? Someone is going to tell them something and it might be you, I or someone else or a negative circumstance with a serious lesson to be learned. We may be the ones that may have a messenger come to us one day. If so, I would advise that we shut our mouths and take some notes.

In closing, we must consider the following. One, we face whatever circumstances we fear. Two, use the feelings of resistance to fix what we have control over. Lastly, take an inward look at ourselves in order to figure out what is exactly wrong with us.

Remember don't be a defensive mother when there is no offense being committed, and no game being played. Watch and listen.

FIX, FACE & FIGURE FOR 2010

Nicholl McGuire
http://www.twitter.com/motherhoodtips

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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