So how does a mother answer a question about her child's future? How does she know what her son or daughter will grow up to be and what impact (whether positive or negative) will her child make on society?
We may not be able to answer these difficult questions about our children's futures in the most confident way, but we can surely increase their odds of being something more than a fool!
How many mothers out there are really taking the time out to mold and shape their children into what destiny calls them to be or are they leaving it all up to the school and relatives? Have they even bothered to consult with a superior higher than themselves? Have they sat down and talked with others about their observations concerning their children? Have they met with counselors on how to steer wayward children in the right direction?
From the looks of things, there are so many moms concerned about everything external, "What will we be eating for dinner...I need to make a hair and nail appointment...I really want this promotion...I hope this guy really likes me...I have to visit that store..." that they fail to even think about their children's future much less their spiritual, mental and or physical health. Does mom have a clue what her child's weaknesses and strengths are in the classroom? Does she know about that girl or boy who keeps bothering her child? Does she know that a relative is teaching her child some despicable things? Has she noticed the physical signs that her son or daughter is too ill to go to school?
If you don't agree with the previous point about some moms being more concerned with everything, but their children's future, just ask a daycare worker what sorts of challenges she has to deal with when working with children being raised by selfish parents (oh yeah, dad needs to be held accountable too)? Why not interview a middle school or highschool teacher and get his or her opinion on the mental state of some of his or her students and are they really prepared for life after graduation? Sit down with the selfish parents' child for a minute and he or she will tell you the truth about their go-getter parents. "Mom is always working...dad is mad a lot...I don't like being at home," the child cries out. Better yet, talk to your own family about what they see when watching your children.
Video games don't help children become productive members of society especially if the characters are performing immoral acts ie.) stealing, cursing, having sex, etc. Buying the latest designer t-shirts for a child to show his or her allegiance to Satan isn't sensible ie.) look at all the rockers' lives in the entertainment industry. Telling a child to physically hurt another because he doesn't like what someone says isn't putting them on the fast track to world peace. Giving children what they want just because they cry, pout, or do something embarrassing isn't going to make them respect authority figures. We could go on and on talking about ethics, morals, biblical commandments and more, but you get the point.
From the smallest thing to the most significant, everything plays some part in our children's future. What we do or don't do now with them sets their path in the future. As a parent, we should refrain from cursing our children to hell or saying things like, "You are so dumb! I don't think you will ever be anything but!" While fathers sit with closed mouths, and mom does everything else, there is someone out there who will make sure to teach their son a lesson or two whether good, bad or otherwise. There are moms worrying about everything including her husband at home, meanwhile she accomplishes nothing with her daughter--no relationship, no mother/daughter date, etc. Some of these all girl groups will be sure to embrace and love on that lost daughter in ways that would disturb her poor parents.
Now whether our children stay on the best path we set for them is a whole different story. It isn't up to us to take responsibility for their wrong choices once they are grown, but it is up to us to keep our children on the straight and narrow in the meantime. As future parents of adult children, we can only say that we did the best we could while our children lived with us. How they choose to live their lives once they become adults is out of our hands.
Having one's priorities in the wrong place doesn't make one a bad mother, it just makes her misguided. She will need to spend more time talking to her child. Asking the tough questions and observing her child interacting with others in order to get some kind of understanding on what exactly is she raising. She will also have to be open to what others say about her child. Of course, some people will be overly critical and say hurtful things, but we all must ask ourselves, "Why?" Then get on the fast track to helping our children.
We live in a world where there is help for just about everything! It doesn't make sense that there are so many children talking, dressing, and acting like they have no parent in the home who cares. Now sure, there are those children who don't have mothers living with them, but there should be enough support around children, despite circumstances, that will give them a sense of direction even if mom is absent from the home. It is up to us parents (and those around our children) to make sure they get that supportive network. Reach out to the children when dad slacks. Be the best mom to children not your own if you happen to live with yours, theirs and ours.
When we look at our children from a different set of eyes; rather than in a way that says, "I can't wait until you grow up," maybe we will be able to see a glimpse of what the future has to offer.
Nicholl McGuire
Read more of my work here. Watch videos here.
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