How to Overcome Jealousy

Overcoming jealousy is important to all healthy relationships. Jealousy usually stems from feelings of inadequacy in the person experiencing the emotion. While there are, of course, times when people are certainly justified in feeling jealous a good portion of the time there is not valid cause.

It's usually necessary to look to one's self-esteem to pinpoint exactly why you are feeling jealous, as the problem 90% of the time is with yourself. That's actually good news, though - it means it can be fixed and you can stop feeling miserable.

The Root of the Evil

The green-eyed monster is generally a symptom of other deep-rooted problems within people. The less self confidence a person has and the more their self image needs improvement the more easily feelings of jealousy creep in even in innocuous situations. This happens because people will feel that they do not deserve the other person, the position at work, the praise, etc. While there will always be some times where feelings of envy are justified, you can fight the feelings when they are unjustified.

Keep a Cool Head

Whether you are experiencing feelings of jealousy in a personal or professional setting, losing your cool will not help the situation. If something happens that begins to churn up those emotions, wait. Step back outside of yourself for just a moment. Look at the situation after allowing some time to breathe.

Did someone at work get a promotion based on your work or did your husband come home with lipstick on his shirt? Then allow the feelings. They are totally justified! However, if a coworker actually deserves their promotion based on their merit, or your husband mentions that an unattainable actress is pretty, then breathe deeply and let it pass.

Communicate Effectively

When you are consistently feeling jealous, and have already checked to be sure that you are maintaining a clear and accurate view of the situation, then perhaps the thing making you jealous may need to be addressed. Chances are that your emotions are not being played with and that perhaps the other person simply is not aware of how you are reacting. Talk to them in a calm manner and not at a time when you are actually feeling jealous. Explain, without blaming, how certain actions or words make you feel. Offer a solution, "If you were to do/say X rather than Y, I would feel differently." Be open to feedback from the other person!

Eyes on Yourself

The more you focus on creating your own sense of self worth and strengthening all of your personal characteristics, the more you will find that jealousy will fall by the wayside. When you develop a healthy self respect, it can perform wonders in your life. You will not tolerate situations where jealousy is actually valid; you will remove yourself from the situation. You will know that your abilities and merits are worthy of thought and consideration from others and that your own self confidence will inspire them to treat you with respect. You will soon learn to disregard that which is petty and not let it have an effect on how you feel.


All that you need to overcome jealousy is inside of you. It is not an external factor that will change your perception-a new dress does not make you feel less jealous of an inattentive spouse! The more strength you have, the weaker feelings of jealousy will be. Focus your thoughts and actions on building your own positivity and it will be no more difficult to overcome feelings of weakness and jealousy than it would be to overcome a battalion of toy soldiers.

Zoltan Roth is a native Hungarian teacher who resides in the United States. His passion is to help people around the globe to discover their enormous mental potential to create a happy, peaceful life we all deserve. For more information please visit his website at

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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