I'm Not My Mother

The more we say this statement of not being our mother, the more we act just like her. Maybe there is something on the inside of us that has recorded everything about our mothers (those who were fortunate enough to be around her and study her) that we have become her in so many ways!

The only way we know that we have adapted her ways both good and bad is when someone tells us, "You act just like your mother." Now sometimes this person may be confused between looking like mother and acting like her. Just because we might look like her doesn't mean we act like her and for some mothers, who didn't necessarily like their mother, this can be irritating. I have personally been told I not only act like my mother, but look like her too. When I think of some of the things I have had to deal with over the years I can appreciate some of her mannerisms I inherited due to her genes, but my strength I achieved on my own. My life experiences created me into the woman I now am and when someone wants to give your mother that credit when it really should go to you, don't allow them to get away with it!

Our mothers were responsible for providing us with the foundation to help us learn how to problem solve, survive, love, and nurture others. But if she failed to accomplish that with us, we had to find it in someone else. This is why some mothers are still angry at their mothers even after they have long been buried. Why didn't she prepare her daughter like she should? Why wasn't she there when she needed her most? It would be selfish and foolish to assume that all mothers have a great relationship with their mother, because they don't.

A mother who has been left on the side of the road of life by her own mother has alot to cry about and as her sister we must embrace her, but we can't erase her pain! When she is rolling her eyes, yelling at the children, or huddled in a corner crying because of her mother, she is also angry at herself for what she doesn't know, for what she refuses to face, or for the unresolved issues she has about her own mother while the world tells her, "You look just like your mother. You act just like your mother!" For her, it isn't a compliment. You will be able to detect who some of these mothers are who have these cries for their mothers when she can't look you in the eye and say, "Thank you."

She is a motherless child. A mother who is expected to love her own children even in the midst of her own personal struggles with the woman who looks just like her mother in the mirror.