Says the Mother to the Childless

Watered my seed
and it grew, grew, grew.
But why now do I feel so blue?

"So it's true you can feel that way,
even after people have told you to pray?" says the Childless.

That's what they say.

"It isn't easy being a mother, can't always cover how you feel."

It's like being given a raw deal.

Partners and kids want and want just so they can flaunt.
You work and work for some unnamed jerk.

"Wishing things will get better,
you are told to read God's love letter."

But even he gets tired of his bratty kids,
puts them in pots and closes the lids.

Us mothers are up and sometimes down,
but we always manage to get around.

You don't know me, and I don't know you,
but we both share the same view.

"You aren't always happy,
your days sometimes are crappy."

Yeah...

But, you don't always smile,
especially after walking a mile.

So neither you or I need to tell another lie.
Just take a deep breath, and let out a sigh.

We are all in this life together,
we will withstand all types of weather.

"Heaven knows, it will get better!"

Nicholl McGuire a mother who has had her share of conversations with the childless and fellow believers about motherhood.

My 3-year-old asks...

"Mommy, why did you bring me here to this world?" This probably wouldn't have bothered me so much if I hadn't vowed as a child I would never bring children into a world like this.

That's kids for you.

Blogs Worth a Look: Talking about Children's Stuff

I have been encouraging my children to write for sometime now.  The following websites provide some useful information on children's books, writing, and other related information.

Children's Books

Vintage Kids' Books

Books for Kids Blog

Book Blogs

Writing/Publishing

Write 4 Kids

Createspace


Sometimes I hear moms complain about their children not doing well in school.  Here are a couple of sources that just might help for those who are convinced their son or daughter needs a tutor.

Tutoring

Tutor


Sylvan Learning


I just stumbled on these sites, thought they were informative, at times funny.  Real moms with their share of stories to tell.

Wide Variety of General Motherhood Topics

5 Minutes for for Mom


Mocha Manual


The Meanest Mom

After the Vacation: On Playing Mom Again

So now that I'm back home after eight-weeks away from the children, it is an adjustment.  It seems that the children have learned to adjust to mom being away; therefore dad is the "go to guy."  When you are away from your children for any period of time, there are those moments when you are reminded that in spite of a hiatus, sabatical, vacation, or whatever you might call it, you are still mom.  Therefore, when you return to your children, you have to jump right back in.  The honeymoon is over!  The children will test you.  They will "play" you, dad, grandparents, babysitter or whoever in order to get their way.  A typical scenario goes like this dad said, "no" to something, so they go to someone who will say, "yes."  All parties have to be in agreement on the basics before you re-enter their lives.

I found that adjusting back to home life, this time around, took about seven days give or take.  I had to first get use to their schedule again for eating, sleeping, etc.  Then I had to converse with the partner about some of the household changes and strategies on disciplining them.  Next, I had to get use to some of their new toys (some of which contained many pieces.)  I also had to unpack my own things and get comfortable in my old environment again which underwent some changes.  To top it all off, there was no longer free time to just sit on the phone for hours or leave the house whenever I pleased (sigh.)

I think that some of us mothers just don't know how important free time is to us when it is given to us on a silver platter.  We still think about the children, check up more than we should, talk about them as if we have no other life, etc.  I was guilty of doing these things during the first part of my vacation, but then I eventually got use to being away from them.  However, I couldn't resist, at times, those moments to send photos and video as well as call them before bedtime.  Sometimes my attempts to connect with them caused more problems then helped. They became difficult for dad and wanted to know, "When is mommy coming home?"

So if you do decide to take a vacation from the children anytime soon, do keep in mind that you will need to periodically keep in touch in order to remain relevant in their lives and you will also need to reconnect with your children when you get back.  Take some time before you see them again to problem solve on past issues and be ready for new challenges.

Nicholl McGuire

Author & Poet reads from her book, When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire

Many of the blog entries I have penned over the years were based on my book, When Mothers Cry. This non-fiction book highlights the many trials that most mothers face when raising their children.  I felt the need to write such a book after I repeatedly watched the news to see yet another mother hurt or kill her child due to many factors that are not always illustrated in the news.   I also felt the need to share my personal struggle with being a mom and how I have come to some peace of mind about my role.

When a mother is frustrated, stressed, worried, angry, or simply feels under the weather, an observant relative or friend knows something--the writing is always on the wall!  Someone always knows something.  I am deeply angered when I hear a man or woman say, "How could she do that..."  A woman with a mental illness is no longer able to care for herself much less think about how her actions might affect those around her.  The question of "how" should be eliminated from public discussion when it comes to mothers hurting themselves and others and instead we should ask, "What?"  What caused her to react that way?  Did she confide in anyone prior to doing what she did?  What were the signs?  Did anyone try to get her any help?

As we all know, after a baby is born, that child becomes everyone's responsibility in one way or another.  From the neighbor next door who sees a child doing something wrong to the teacher grading the child's work--it really does take a whole village to raise a child whether we choose to think otherwise.

Feel free to listen to some audio versions of my book at this site.

Nicholl McGuire