Dealing with Divorcing Parents - Mom Minute with Mindy of CuteGirlsHairstyles

Don't Force Yourself to React to Things Just Because It Appears to be the Right Thing to Do

A mother rushes to the aid of a child who visibly appears to be okay.  There is no crying and no bumps, cuts, and bruises.  Another mother is overly emotional due to things beyond her control like a husband's layoff, a relative's divorce, and a drunken relative who refuses to get help.  Mothers everywhere are more likely to react to these situations and others, but just because responses are typical, doesn't mean we have to perform.

Maybe it seems like the right thing to do to pick up the phone and talk with judgmental, often angry kin, walk somewhere because it is routine, or help a stranger in need, but we must keep in mind that sometimes what it appears to be just another day, might not be.  Your typical response to people and things may need an adjustment for a day or a lifetime it all depends on the who or what in different situations.  So if I am use to going down the street and having a beverage with a girlfriend, but I just feel different about it right now, chances are it is a good idea I stay home today.  You never know what might be going on or maybe nothing is happening with the girlfriend, but with me.  We have to be sensitive to signs that alter or block what we are use to doing or saying.   

So many lives have been lost because some moms just didn't think twice before they walked out the door, got in their cars and drove off somewhere.  Some could have saved quality friendships had they not started up an unfavorable conversation filled with criticism.  Others could have thought twice about dropping emotional children off with people who they knew full well aren't very nice and kind, but they just didn't think! 

A gut feeling, quiet voice, or "something said" serves a purpose to alert us to trouble especially when it comes to a routine.  Things don't always appear as they seem, but we convince ourselves otherwise because we don't want to be inconvenienced, might be lazy, procrastinate, bitter about some things, still angry with someone, etc.

As much as you might want to force yourself to do something that doesn't seem to be right in your spirit or be with someone you really don't have a good vibe about (at least for today--he or she could okay on most days), resist the urge.  Today just might not be the day for small talk, going somewhere, staying late, or dropping children off.  Pause and pray.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight and other unusual thoughts on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.   

Mothers: It's Okay to Take a Stand

When it comes to parenting children, dealing with a difficult partner, or weird relatives, why is it that some cowardly women frequently advise "...not to say this and not to do this and you shouldn't..." when loved ones have repeatedly violated your personal boundaries.  I say, "Speak up!"

As mothers we can be so laid back, cool, nonchalant at times to the point that if you give anyone in the family or even a friend an inch, you best believe he or she is going to take a mile!  From our money to our time, people will take advantage of you because you are a mother if you let them.  They do this because they think you are too busy, too emotional, too caring, too involved with your family, career, or too whatever else to put up a fight.  I admit I am not that kind of mother add a bad name to my title on a bad day and if I feel threatened, used or abused, I have to call on Jesus because I know my capabilities. 

Those who know me well recognize I love the Lord and know I appreciate all He has done for me, but there comes a point that you know when someone or a group is attempting to use you because they know you are a believer and expect you to behave a certain way (like a victim) to benefit them, but not you.

See through the foolishness!  Moms everywhere take a stand on what you innately know is righteous and true--those who have a faith know better.  You and your family will be blessed whether a wayward spouse, jealous relative, controlling in-law, or others stick around or not! 

This weak-minded, brainwashed mentality/system of who and what we are supposed to be was long over for me when I penned "When Mothers Cry."  I introduced myself to the online mother scene with that book by validating moms who were often overlooked or dismissed as "crazy" when the going got rough in their lives.  How dare a partner, ex, fellow parent, relative, child, or in-law disrespect or underestimate any mother who is doing the best she can to raise, protect, establish a relationship and most of all love her children?  Yet, I experienced this and so did people I know.  They didn't bad mouth the crack heads, the club-bangers, the women dressed like whores, drunks, etc. but it was challenged mothers for little things they might have overlooked while rushing out the door or too tired to remember.  Others said angry, critical words because they didn't understand or bothered to educate themselves on the mental changes a woman goes through after having a baby or babies--she just isn't the same--some men need to get that through their thick heads! 

When you see children are out of control irregardless of what a partner thinks or says about you, don't give up stand strong.  If you should notice your relatives have far more criticisms than compliments, you can easily shut them out and move on with your life!  When you have educators and others giving you a long list of "Please can you do..." you can always say, "No."  If you should be called upon to give yet more money and service to a cause, you can say, "I have done enough, ask someone else." 

Stop worrying over what this one and that one says, does and thinks, you are a mother and no matter what you have been through, you know your role and you know what you can handle and what you can't.  Don't let anyone define it for you!  God bless, take away your stress, and worry less!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books and maintains numerous blogs.  Be inspired spiritually by visiting her YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 

Mother shares experience with postpartum depression

Teenage Drug Use - Triggers And Motivations by Mel Cairns

One of your children falling into the trap of substance abuse and addiction is one of the worst things that many mothers could imagine. However, it happens all too often. Why is it that teenagers try and become addicted to drugs? If we are aware of their motivations, we can perhaps help them to resist temptation.


It's Attractive

Illicit substances have a powerful appeal to young people. Alcohol is ubiquitous in the media, and very smoothly marketed. For people who have not yet developed the social-analytical powers needed to resist such advertising, the idea of such things as 'cool' and generally appealing quickly becomes embedded. By the time they get to actually try alcohol, they are more than eager to do so - primed by the media and social conditioning they have experienced.


It Lends Escape

Everyone goes through a degree of self-exploration during their adolescence. However, for some this is more bewildering than others. Drugs and alcohol provide an escape from the turbulence of puberty which proves perilously attractive for some.


It Lends Confidence

Teens who lack self-confidence may use alcohol or drugs as a way to become the confident, noticeable person that they want to be. High school can be a vicious environment for people stuck within their shell, so anything which helps someone out of that shell is yearned for - no matter how damaging it may ultimately prove.


It's Rebellious

Part of the process of becoming your own person involves testing the social boundaries and setting yourself against the authorities which have always ruled you. Drugs and alcohol are often seen as a great way of gaining this rebellious control.


Emotion Management

Many teens are stressed and depressed. Alcohol and drugs provide temporary relief from this, which may motivate anxious teens to try them.

For more on this, see this article.

Mel Cairns