Distant Daughters, Troubled Mothers - No Contact

Why Bother Reaching Out to Some Relatives and Friends?

They can't help you, don't really like you, and seem to tolerate you because your mate puts up with you, these people you call "family, in-law, son, daughter, best buddy...," why do you continue to bother with them when you know the relationship has clearly changed?

I thought of this when I saw a family of Mexicans coming out of their home and I said to myself, "Don't they get tired of one another, I mean having so many people living in a small place and everyone knowing so much about you..."  From a distance, it appeared relatives, in-laws, and friends were cool, but when I looked closely at their faces, I saw stress.

Now if we were all living together for a long period of time, we would grow angry with one another and might even threaten not to see one another again.  Yet, most of us don't live in an atmosphere with many people, but our cell phones are crowded with phone numbers.  When we have slow moments in our lives, we call the good, bad, and ugly in our lives, don't we?

Why do we bother with some folks?  Because they are mothers like us, bought our kids something years ago, said something nice about us, hoped that things had changed with them, God told us...why? These lukewarm individuals rarely acknowledge us, partners and our children, and will seldom, if ever, send us anything.  Some dispense compliments few and far in between.  They don't sound happy to hear from us.  And thinking back, they really didn't care for us when we first met them, and that hasn't changed for some.

The holidays come along and now everyone wants you around and this one is celebrating a birthday and that one is expecting you show up to this child's game, but what is happening in the meantime? Nothing.  No phone calls and other forms of communication unless you initiate it.  Sometimes they are the ones who could have, should have, and would have done for you and children, but decided that because they don't like how someone behaved with them or what they heard about you, they will not make much contact, if at all, with you.  People in relationships experience this much especially with in-laws.  If the husband or wife doesn't do well about connecting with his or her side of the family, the rest of his or her family members are forgotten.

Not only do relationships with partners take work, so do maintaining a connection with relatives and friends and because of this, we must look beyond that old circle of relatives and friends.  The folks you grew up with served their purpose and some of those friendships have since expired.  Some relatives may or may not be there for you depending on their mood for the day, whether they are generous, or really like you.  Whatever the issue, I ask again, why bother reaching out to some relatives and friends?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7  

21 Things and Counting When it Comes to Schools Making Money Off the Parents

A public school that two of my sons attend is indeed a money-maker!  There isn't a week that doesn't go by where we parents don't receive a list of upcoming activities, needed supplies and more that require our money.  Here are 21 things the school did to get money from us, and I'm sure someone will get the bright idea to use one or many of these ideas.  But I warn you before you bring up these ideas to money-grubbing leadership, greed will get some groups and individuals in trouble sooner or later. 


We live in a time where everyone is asking for money to pay for this and that, and for some people, including myself, it can be quite taxing especially when some smell generosity a mile away!  I'm not surprised when some parents and others go off when yet someone else is asking for a donation of money and time!  Enough already!  Greedy people and those with big ideas hoping to keep their own money to self, deserve just what they get, no support!  So check out the list of everything that has cost many parents much this year.


1. Scholastic book fairs twice a year and advertising in between to visit website to buy books.
2.  Friday weekly treats.
3.  School store.
4.  Fee to join PTA including frequent requests to volunteer for too many events to count.
5.  Restaurant events--partial proceeds go to the school when you spend money you shouldn't eating out.
6.  Afterschool programs that usually cost $80 plus dollars per child over a 10 week period.  Add gas, snacks, eating out at restaurants, uniforms, and other things needed to join the soccer team, acting, chess, science program, and other activities.
7.  Art made by the students.  A long list of things for you to buy so that your child's artwork can appear on the items.  Price range from $6 to $50 plus per item. (As if the paper crafts, drawings, cardboard box projects, and other stuff isn't already enough stuff!)
8.  T-shirts for everything your child's school participates in when competing with other schools.
9.  Holiday fund-raisers (Easter, Christmas, Valentine grams, cards, candy, novelty items, etc.)  Most companies don't support these fund-raisers because many people at work have kids doing the same thing.  The issues of having to support your own child, your co-workers, the boss' kid, etc. will take you to the poor house faster than you can say, "I don't have any money..."
10.  Buy needed school supplies at the start of the year.  (Seriously, why are we doing this, don't public schools get money from somewhere other than us?"  Just think when you have more than one child, this adds up.  Then the teacher will send a note back around again about mid-year indicating what she has run out of in the classroom.
11.  Penny collections to pay for school property.  (I can't even keep pennies in the house anymore!)
12.  Field trips. (Need I say more?)
13.  Holiday classroom parties.  "Could you please send XYZ items, and also this, and we will need that...could you donate your time too?  We really want to have a fabulous party for the children..." Who's idea was it?  You will pay for your own party!
14.  Supplies needed for recitals and plays.
15.  School projects
16.  Annual school photos (twice a year).
17.  Yearbooks
18.  Box top collections.  (Tempted to pay slightly more for an item to help your kid's school, eh?)
19.  School lunches (not everyone income qualifies to get free lunches).
20.  Library fees.  (I was on my kids like a drill sergeant this year to return books.)
21.  Uniforms bought through the school's supplier.  (No thanks, Walmart here I come.)


School leadership and staff at many schools are also beggars, score keepers, and members of a club.  I find it sad that the profession just doesn't have the reputation it once had in many circles.  I resent being asked over and over again for contributions and if you don't someone is smiling in your face asking you about doing this and doing that.  Many of us moms made financial sacrifices to be available to our children, partners and other kin.  Then along comes yet another program, request for service or money that isn't doing anything more than entertaining children that need to learn as much as they can.  (I can take them on a couple field trips myself.) Some staff use our hard-earned money for ideas that don't really pan out in the way these originators/innovators had hoped anyway. 


I pick and choose with the giving, but to be quite honest I am turned off with literally hundreds of fliers that have come home asking, "Could you help..."! 


Nicholl McGuire

Why moms get NOTHING DONE

No One Size Fits All When it Comes to Motherhood Accomplishments, Failures

I have read many articles and blog entries over the years about where mothers should be when it comes to different stages in their lives.  A twenty-something woman has graduated from college and is starting out in her career and quite possibly saving for a future home, retirement, etc., a thirty-something woman has money saved up for a house while hoping to get married and have a baby, and then the forty-something woman is supposed to be stable in her career and ushering children off to college.  Sounds about right for you?  Not hardly.  Most mothers don't fit into these groups the way some of these mainstream news media outlets report.  The information they provide is what they hope the majority would do by using various examples that might inspire many young women to start off in life that appears to be most beneficial: college, career, marriage, children, etc.  But as most of us moms know, our children dictate much of our lives once they are here while they reach milestone after milestone.  There comes a point in our journey where we have to take a step back and let a husband and/or children shine.  How long that occurs we never know depending on what our situations require?  A disabled child, a cheating partner, a crazy parent, debt, extracurricular activities...one never knows when life will settle down long enough for us to say, "Now my turn!" We find ourselves jumping right into achieving goals at times when it appears to be the wrong time when it is really right.

Those career goals you once had changed once you fell in love and had children.  The peace and quiet to do what you want at anytime of the day no longer existed when you moved in with a man or he with you.  Then throw in relatives and friends into the mix and now a daughter or son wants to either stay in the hometown she once grew up or move as far away from it as she possibly can.  Things change sometimes for the better and other times for the worse!  We ride with change or die trying.

Mothers don't come to this blog because they have it all together, they show up with pain in their hearts, frustrated with choices, irritated with spouses and children, and more, but through it all they thrive anyway.  Each challenge presents a life lesson and we either embrace, push back, ignore, fight, or move on!  For we know, only the strong survive!

You and I didn't go through childbirth just to have bragging rights we survived, we went through such a profound experience to be released from all those things that bound us mentally, physically and spiritually.  We were to look at our children and recognize the fact that we are responsible for looking beyond ourselves now, mature, grow, teach, etc. we are to experience another dimension of our existence in this life.  It was never meant to be all painful or all joyous.

I personally think that some mothers have lost sight of who they are as women, mothers, wives and/or spiritual beings.  They have permitted worldly activities to weaken their minds, covetousness and jealousy to divide their hearts, over-eating to slowly kill them, and life challenges to separate them from their Creator and His will for their lives.

There is no one size that fits all mothers and don't let anyone throw you in one big box labeled, "This is what motherhood is supposed to look like."  In addition, there is no chart that can be used to track our progress which tells us, "You have arrived, now do this...and if you don't make it here, then something is wrong with you."

So keep on crying mother, release the pressure, and then get back out there and win at whatever you know you are called to do.  And if you don't know, then you might want to take more time praying, and less time being bombarded with people and things that constantly analyze you.  Meditate on wise books, may I suggest the Holy Bible for starters?

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7