How to Determine Whether Keeping the Children After a Separation or Divorce is the Best Thing to Do

How to Determine Whether Keeping the Children After a Separation or Divorce is the Best Thing to Do

Mom, Why Did I Have Children? Those Feelings of Regret

This isn't the time for a speech on loving one's children.  This isn't a time for anyone to brag on how grateful they are when it comes to being a parent.  A woman somewhere in this world is having an emotional breakdown due to the anxiety she feels about being a parent.  She is weary of children who misbehave, who are favored by partners, and spoiled rotten by grandparents.  She is angry that no one seems to listen after giving birth to yet another child.  She is frustrated when no one wants to take her children for awhile so she can just think--get her mind back.

"Mom, why did I have children?" the downtrodden mother asks anyone who listens including her self.  "You really didn't mean to say it in the way that you did, but hey it's out now," says a concerned voice. 

Your real feelings about parenting are out in the open--now deal with them.  No judges are in the room.  No prideful moms and self-righteous partners.  Let's be honest, you worry too much about yourself, your children and everything else in between.  You might have lied for sons and daughters in need of your help.  You might have promised your children the sun, moon and stars, so to speak.  It is your hope that your children will be good citizens, great partners, educated, successful, winners...yes, we all want the same.  But mom is tired!  She has been fighting the good fight lately--making sacrifices and her patience has been worn thin.  She has been understanding, warm, kind, and caring to all she has encountered in the past, but her kindness has been taken for weakness.  With so much going on (or maybe not enough,) mom is bitter about quite a few things and those who supposedly know her, don't seem to get it.  This is when things can become dangerous for moms who are headed on that path of no return where something or someone has disturbed them mentally--you don't want to wallow too deeply in your frustration with your children.  Look for something that makes you happy when it comes to parenting.  Find something that makes you feel whole again that has nothing to do with children.  Think of ways to snap back to your content self.  When was the last time you were away from children?  What might you need to do differently in your daily schedule?  What do you need to cut out?  Who might you start enlisting to help you?

Busy people with problems aren't interested in mom's issues.  Men who are busy making money don't want to think too deeply about what mom is saying/confessing/screaming.  Crying children don't hear mom.  You know the rest.  You most likely are the mom who has been keeping much inside while you smile at other moms and wonder, "Does she ever wish she didn't get pregnant?  I wonder if she ever tires of her children?  Is there something wrong with me that I just wish I would have been anything but a mom?"

Feelings of regret happen to not only the poor, sad moms of this world, but the best, brightest, most successful moms too that take a pause every now and then to ask their Heavenly Creator, "Why?"  But the real question is, "Why not?"  Why not be taught how to love beyond self?  Why not learn patience and virtue through the most unlikeliest sources?  Why not experience the hand of God through a child?  Why not share what you know with one who is an extension of you--a second chance at creating a newer and improved you?

Why not?

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

    

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Mothers - A Needed Change in Finances, Relationships

Have you ever looked at your billing statement from a creditor and sighed, wishing yet again you didn't put so much on your credit card for children?  Was there ever a time that you looked at your husband/partner and wished that you could receive the same kind of hug from him or her that was given to the children?  Do you wish to do something better in your life, but lack resources, education, and motivation to get it done?  If you have ever felt this way, then know that you are not alone!  There are plenty of mothers on this site and others who wanted change in their lives from finances to relationships, but did nothing.  You are different and you will do something, because you want to!

When mothers let themselves cry to the point that they are sick and tired, things change!  A mother who is sincerely fed up with the credit card debt will cut it up and will not use it again. She remembers how she missed out on getting things done, because she spent hundreds on stuff for the kids once again.  A mother who is bitter about how a partner treats children better than her will make up in her mind to either reach out for affection or move on with her life.  She will welcome someone into her life who will show her the love she craves (of course not before handling her past, so that she can have a future).  And a mother who wants very much to accomplish dreams will go after them, while cutting back or off those things that keep hindering her.  From Internet surfing to finding a caretaker for her child, she no longer makes excuses--she just does what is needed!

You don't need a step-by-step guide on motivating yourself to do some things differently in your life.  All you really need is the passion to put what it is you sincerely want to do in your life in front of you each day and work at it.  Think of that thing you want to do most.  Now if it is like a need to go to the bathroom, you would just get up and do it without thinking, right?  Well, you have to treat that task like it is important and do it without pondering deeply on it or you will talk yourself out of getting that thing accomplished. 

"When?" says Self.
"Now. I need to do it."
"How?" says Self. 
"Create a plan.  Do it."
"What will people think?" says Self. 
"Not your concern. Do it."
"Who will help?" says Self.
 "Is it really necessary to get anyone else involved at this point?  Just do it!"

Let your cry be the motivation to get what you desire most, done!

Nicholl McGuire also shares information on all related things about organizing here. 

Spoiling Yourself and Children is a Problem - Wealthy Christians Take Heed