Monday

Mom, Why Did I Have Children? Those Feelings of Regret

This isn't the time for a speech on loving one's children.  This isn't a time for anyone to brag on how grateful they are when it comes to being a parent.  A woman somewhere in this world is having an emotional breakdown due to the anxiety she feels about being a parent.  She is weary of children who misbehave, who are favored by partners, and spoiled rotten by grandparents.  She is angry that no one seems to listen after giving birth to yet another child.  She is frustrated when no one wants to take her children for awhile so she can just think--get her mind back.

"Mom, why did I have children?" the downtrodden mother asks anyone who listens including her self.  "You really didn't mean to say it in the way that you did, but hey it's out now," says a concerned voice. 

Your real feelings about parenting are out in the open--now deal with them.  No judges are in the room.  No prideful moms and self-righteous partners.  Let's be honest, you worry too much about yourself, your children and everything else in between.  You might have lied for sons and daughters in need of your help.  You might have promised your children the sun, moon and stars, so to speak.  It is your hope that your children will be good citizens, great partners, educated, successful, winners...yes, we all want the same.  But mom is tired!  She has been fighting the good fight lately--making sacrifices and her patience has been worn thin.  She has been understanding, warm, kind, and caring to all she has encountered in the past, but her kindness has been taken for weakness.  With so much going on (or maybe not enough,) mom is bitter about quite a few things and those who supposedly know her, don't seem to get it.  This is when things can become dangerous for moms who are headed on that path of no return where something or someone has disturbed them mentally--you don't want to wallow too deeply in your frustration with your children.  Look for something that makes you happy when it comes to parenting.  Find something that makes you feel whole again that has nothing to do with children.  Think of ways to snap back to your content self.  When was the last time you were away from children?  What might you need to do differently in your daily schedule?  What do you need to cut out?  Who might you start enlisting to help you?

Busy people with problems aren't interested in mom's issues.  Men who are busy making money don't want to think too deeply about what mom is saying/confessing/screaming.  Crying children don't hear mom.  You know the rest.  You most likely are the mom who has been keeping much inside while you smile at other moms and wonder, "Does she ever wish she didn't get pregnant?  I wonder if she ever tires of her children?  Is there something wrong with me that I just wish I would have been anything but a mom?"

Feelings of regret happen to not only the poor, sad moms of this world, but the best, brightest, most successful moms too that take a pause every now and then to ask their Heavenly Creator, "Why?"  But the real question is, "Why not?"  Why not be taught how to love beyond self?  Why not learn patience and virtue through the most unlikeliest sources?  Why not experience the hand of God through a child?  Why not share what you know with one who is an extension of you--a second chance at creating a newer and improved you?

Why not?

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

    

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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