Friday

For the Love of the Children: Why Mothers Stay with Controlling Partners

It isn't easy being in a relationship much less one built on lies, exaggerations and promises.  Controlling men who believe that in order to keep women in their places, they must do the kind of things that don't uplift them, but keep them under their thumbs.

The "kept" woman, former survivor, beaten wife, or emotionally abused girlfriend will deal with the accusations, name-calling, threats, and more coming from a mate with a personality disorder (or is demon possessed) just so long as she has a place in the home with her children.

She will talk herself into staying in the home with a controlling individual, because she doesn't want to be replaced by someone who doesn't love her children as much as she does.  She will put up with her partner's foolishness if it means that she can be the one who will tuck her children in bed at night.  She will stand up to her controlling partner, if not for herself, but for the love she has for her children.

Mothers are pushing, shoving, kicking, screaming, scheming, planning, and doing other things just so that they will not be separated from children.  Many know all-too-well what single parenthood looks like.  Others experienced what it was like growing up without a father, mother or both in the home.  The love for children is great and goes beyond human comprehension.  "Why would a mother allow a man to....what would make a woman bother to...I just can't understand," some say.  It isn't for you to understand.

There is a timeline that occurs in every child's life as he or she grows up and during this process each milestone that is reached is significantly influenced by a parent or guardian.  Whether the child is young or older, a mother's presence helps with the process of growing up.  No child wants to feel unloved, abandoned, worthless, or useless; therefore a caring mother will help a son or daughter sort through fears and insecurities while attempting to create a bond.  This doesn't take away from the father's role, but for the purpose of this article, it is the mother's love that is being discussed.

Mothers desire to stay with the father's of their children despite difficult circumstances is due to the following:  some have a burden to do so, others fear leaving or moving on, and then there are those who do it because it's just the right thing to do in the meantime.  Yet, as with everything else experienced in this life, a mother's time with a controlling partner has an expiration date.  This is why so many take off and leave with children at a moment's notice.  A mother knows when it is time to be like a tiger and protect her cubs.  Numerous chances are offered to mean-spirited and angry fathers everywhere to get things right.  But far too often, they don't.  Far too many prideful men who don't believe that there isn't anything wrong with them will place blame on mothers who just want to raise children and have a good lifestyle.

So when one questions/judges/bad-mouths a mother for dealing with issues in a relationship she couldn't fathom having to put up with, just know that mom is doing the best she can for the love of her children.  Most likely, these same mothers who judge are going through their own set of relationship challenges that others would have to ask, "Why do you bother to stay with your controlling husband/boyfriend?"

Nicholl McGuire shares inspirational and thought-provoking messages here: YouTube Channel: nmenterprise7

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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