Watch Your Child's School Work

How much math homework, spelling and reading is really being given out?  Sometimes moms are so busy tending to household duties and workplace issues that they don't pay attention to what their children are being taught in school.

Homework has never been anyone's favorite thing to do, but it is necessary to help you keep up with what your child knows or doesn't know.

I noticed that my son had more worksheets that dealt with reading and spelling and less assignments that were math related.  Other parents must have noticed too, because finally, after months of being in school, the teacher decided to devote one week exclusively to math homework--will see how long this will last.

If you start to see that your child is consistently bringing home bad grades, you may want to find out what his or her behavior is like in the classroom, how close your son or daughter is seated near the teacher, the Smart Board (a new device wired to the Internet designed to aid teachers with their classroom instruction) or chalk board.  Also, listen for names that often come up when your child is explaining a story.  Sometimes there are those children that are causing problems in the classroom and the teacher has yet to get a handle on them.  You may also want to consider what changes have occurred in your own household that is affecting your child's grades.

When we don't pay attention to what is or isn't coming home from school and how might our child be negatively impacted, we do our children a disservice!  We assume that they are learning, growing, and doing their very best in school when that may not be the case.

Also, watch those notes that don't request your feedback, but give you an option to opt your child out of some event, teaching, etc.  It is very easy for a teacher to come back later and say, "Well we wouldn't have introduced that subject matter to your child had you responded to the notice that you received." 

Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog for new parents who simply want the basics when raising young as well as older children, stop by: Parents, Babies, Children for families who have babies, children and tweens.

Calvin Klein - What The?

So a little eye candy for the ladies?  Not!  I saw through this ad too!  Seems to me this appealed to gay men.  The body was just far too chiseled, you know perfect like the way those who are the perfectionist type like their men, attire, environment, etc.  Very artistic, but very unacceptable like those bra and panty ads from Victoria Secret which suprisingly I didn't see.

Now if you're a parent you probably shifted in your seat a bit especially when you know your sons and daughters are "that age."  Hormones were most likely bouncing.

The commercials were boring, over-the-top, or just stupid--sigh.  You know what to do parents, complain, complain and talk to your children.  Unacceptable Calvin Klein!

Nicholl McGuire

Unacceptable Ad Go Daddy

There was a lot said in the recent advertisement from Go Daddy during Superbowl 45.  The online version was worse!  As much as I like their products, I used them in the past for this site, they crossed the line when they got a guy who looked like a kid making out with an adult woman. 

Apparently, they have some connections with sites that cater to adults who have baby fetishes, according to online researchers.  I must say that when you are a mother with children, you can't help but think about protecting them if you love them.  You don't want them to be introduced to anything prematurely, but it happens.  I think of the sheer number of men who are dealing with all sorts of sexual issues because someone older took advantage of them when they were boys.  A commercial shouldn't even come close to encouraging such behavior.  Sure, you may have increased sales catering to nerds who dig hot chicks, but there was also a nasty message sent as well--pedophilia is okay for adult women and boys.  Wonder what the reaction would have been if some older man was making out with a young woman who looked like a girl?  Oh the dads would be up in arms thinking about their daughters.

Any mother in her right mind would avoid doing business with this company.  Check out competitors and partner with them.  Twitter your thoughts, write a letter, and post something on your blogs.  Keep in mind, your children either saw this ad, will hear about in school (so you need to talk to them) or will see it one day and think it is acceptable.

Nicholl McGuire

Fathers Gone All the Time - Mothers Left to Care for Children

He has his itinerary for the day and it doesn't include you and the children.  He drives around as if single.  You may be in a relationship with someone like this.  Angry that this man who claims he loves you is acting like he doesn't even know you.

When a mother comes to a point in her intimate relationship where she is fed up with a partner, she will either do one of two things, she will get even or she will focus on the needs of her family void of him.

Some fathers just don't get it when it comes to having a family.  He may be the breadwinner or not, but whatever his role, there are family members who need him more than he might realize.  For some fathers, they are becoming distant from the family because they have allowed themselves to become so distracted with what is going on outside the home.  Others fight for a life they once had that wasn't comprised of wife, kids, pets, etc.  Still others just want to be fathers without being told to act like fathers--whatever that might mean to mothers.

With so much frustration going on at home, the father disappears for awhile.  Some leave home to never return.  Others find a dwelling that they can go to periodically without family.  But for many dads they disappear in front of a television, computer or some other device.  Children are often playing alone while mothers maintain house, children, and check-in with relatives and friends.

Now with so much responsibility, a mother who is simply fed up with a father who may be physically or mentally absent from his family, may not be the best wife, lover or friend.  She will scream, curse, cry or even shake up the family home when dad doesn't bother to acknowledge his family.

It isn't any wonder why some mothers leave the family home never to return.  If a dad can't see that his inactions are driving his mate mad then he is in a poor state of mind.  The children will cry out to their father wanting to know, "What happened to mommy?"  While he comes up with yet another excuse, "I don't know...maybe she just doesn't love us anymore."  Rather than saying, "I wasn't very nice to your mother.  I didn't really care about her feelings.  I should have paid closer attention to the family."

So what is the solution really when it comes to fathers being distant and mothers frustrated because they aren't doing their part to keep the family whole?  Well it all depends on whether the man of the house can see how his absence is breaking the family down.  Is the mother communicating her concerns?  Is she providing examples?  Does she do her part to keep the family whole or are her words breaking the family down?  What is it that the father is or isn't doing that is causing so much turmoil in the house and is he willing to let go of those things?  Does he even want his family?

Some men don't want to be fathers.  I remember a relative who tried the family life and he said it wasn't for him.  He left the house and he didn't come back.  As much as the mother tried to have a distant relationship with the father and at times forced his son on him, to no avail.  The father was adamant he didn't want to be with her or the child.  They were mistakes he rather not live with for the rest of his life.  This man has since died.  But I share this true story because it demonstrates the fact that when a man doesn't want a family--he means it.  So how might you detect that a father might be checking out?

1.  He use to talk to everyone in the family and do nice things, now he doesn't.  Often uses the excuse of not having any money, but you notice he has money to spend on himself.
2.  At one time, he encouraged the family members in their games, projects, etc. and did his part to assist whenever needed, now he doesn't.
3.  He not only visits family and friends, he stays at their homes for weeks at a time.
4.  He avoids phone calls, emails, texts and other forms of communication from his immediate family members.  He may lie or make up excuses as to why he can't return phone calls.
5.  He started packing items in boxes and bags as if he is ready to go somewhere.
6.  He has various rental guides for apartments rather than homes that could fit the whole family.
7.  He acts uninterested in anything you and the children say.
8.  He is quick-tempered, mean and doesn't want to talk about his feelings.
9.  He frequently tells family he wants to be left alone and doesn't want to be bothered even when no one is really saying or doing much to bother him.
10.  He seems to be more concerned about what is going on outside the home ie.) sporting events, women, job etc. to the point that he rarely stays at home when he knows everyone will be up and about. He may often leave very early in the morning and come home very late at night.

When considering the above points, keep in mind whether the father has changed his routine.  Also, don't just take a single point and run with it, ask yourself what else might he be saying or doing that is making you feel like he doesn't want to be in a relationship or at home helping raise the children.  He may be going through a difficult time that may not have anything to do with the family.  Watch as well as pray.

Nicholl McGuire

When You are a Thorn in Someone Else's Flesh

You didn't think your issues would grow into anything more than just that, your issues.  But then you opened your mouth or someone noticed something about you and now what you are going through seems like it has become frontpage news.

In the Christian Bible, the Apostle Paul talks about a thorn in his flesh, a personal problem he had that God had yet to remove.  Whatever that something was that Paul struggled with, the Bible doesn't say, but even a man of God had his share of issues and God still used him anyway.  This proves that you don't have to have it altogether to be used by God despite what ministers, teachers, and one's self-righteous parents or grandparents claim.  We also know that Mary had her share of problems brought on, not by man, but by God.  A young girl who would carry a child that wasn't her fiance's out of wedlock.  Imagine the shame she experienced.  So what do these two characters have in common? God, a heavenly Creator who didn't take all troubles away despite being chosen by Him.  Critics of these two people's lives had much to say during biblical times.  It didn't matter what God was doing to draw men and women closer to Him, there were going to be those who criticized, ridiculed, and did whatever else to God's chosen people.  If you are a believer, then you know that you are marked by an enemy to keep drama going in your life.  It is how you handle that drama that makes a difference.

For some readers, you may have brought some situations on yourself and you aren't proud of them. God may have used your unfortunate issues to bring glory to Him.  But whatever you are going through, a critic might be talking about your thorn, your calling, your project, your child or something else.  This person may be responsible for keeping you upset, but you don't have to stay that way.

I recall when I became pregnant with my first child.  It was then that I learned who was friend and who was foe.  Those who once invited the childless me to church and other places, didn't want to have much to do with me when they heard I was expecting.  I was in my early twenties, didn't have much money, periodically attended church, and low and behold unmarried and pregnant.  Did God abandon me because of my situation?  No.  He loved me anyway.  I didn't stop talking about Him because of my poor choices.  I casted my burdens on Him, confessed sin, and asked my Lord to help me and put me around wise people.  In my own strength, I attempted to make wrongs right by marrying my child's father.  But I learned later in life, that if God doesn't want you to do something, it doesn't matter what society says or what you feel is right at the time, he has his reasons.  Wrongs could have been made right in his time and not my own.  As a result, I am divorced today.  God had a better plan, but I didn't see it back then because I was more concerned about what people thought.

There were other times in my life I noticed that when I was no longer giving money to certain groups, due to my family responsibilities, so-called Do-Gooders' calls, letters and gifts stopped coming.  The issues that I was dealing with didn't welcome help, rather they only brought on negative talk by critics, a self-righteous and mean-spirited bunch.  Back to God for wisdom and strength. 

Somehow your issues become others' issues.  Yet, God has his way of taking poor, miserable you and turning you around to be rich in favor with Him.  How does he do that?  By taking a magnifying glass and showing you your  self-righteous critics' errors who think they are "better, good, kind, sweet, nice, successful..."  He doesn't do this so that you can parade around and say to your enemies, "Aha!  I knew you were nothing but a..."  Rather, your Holy Father teaches you via your struggles as well as your naysayers' issues that these people aren't better than you and you aren't better than anyone else--what a humbling experience! 

God shows you that wisdom can be found not only in good decision-making but poor choices too if you draw near to Him.  Some of us are simply too hard-headed at times to just take the easy routes in life, we have to fall hard before we can see the light.  Our Creator gives us a plan for our lives to do things like:  come up higher (ie. don't act petty, worry or plot revenge), be free from issues (ie. emotional, spiritual and physically binding relationships/partnerships), and the bravery to stand up to enemies.

I know that some of you are seeking knowledge that will get you out of your current dilemmas, and I am sure you will find it.  But just remember, there are people and then there are souls--the flesh may die, but the soul doesn't.  As much as you would like to poke someone with your thorn, don't.  One day we all will sit in judgment for the pain and suffering we have caused others if we don't confess sin and repent now for what we have done or are doing to self and others. 

If you or someone you know is hurt because of someone else's actions or in-actions about a matter, know that God will avenge in his time, not yours.  Take your burdens to Him and leave them there!  Don't keep talking about your problems with others when solutions are already on the way--move on! 

To God be the glory!

Nicholl McGuire