Some parents experience a variety of
feelings when listening to one who most likely indulges his or her
own children and has had a few too many wars with a partner as a
result. It isn't wise to assume that one is being overly protective,
strict, or even crazy when it comes to training a child just because
a parent says, “I don't give my child...I don't let my child...I am
not the kind of parent who would...” Simply allowing one to share
a story, without judgment, is all that is really needed. Put
yourself in the parent's shoes, would you want someone labeling you
because you do or don't do certain things with your children?
Establishing boundaries is very
necessary when parenting children. Consider the many places you and
your children visit where there are guidelines, principles, laws, and
more that must be adhered to. So if a parent doesn't want to give a
child a sugary food item before a meal, frequent fast food
establishments or let a child stay up pass bedtime often, he or she
has good reason. Not every child is the same and must be managed
differently based on one's personality, health, location, etc. But
people who don't know all the facts, don't bother to ask questions,
and avoid looking beyond their own personal experiences, jump to
conclusions.
Children should be taught early on at home
about things like: sharing, respecting others' time, not being
greedy, acting responsibly and other things that will help them have
a quality life in this world while still managing to get along with
others. With proper teaching, children can easily adapt to a world
comprised of many authority figures, workers, and others who aid,
manage and build our society. However, self-indulgent, spoiled
children, who are use to parents sitting at their feet and waiting on
them, will not adjust well at work, home and elsewhere. While others
are getting their own tools, building their own lives, and teaching
others, the spoiled child (turned helpless young adult) will be at a
lost searching for anyone to help him or her—good, bad or otherwise. In
time, he or she will discover that not everyone is nice and couldn't
care less and so back home this person goes for a pat on the head
from mom or dad saying, “It's okay. They don't understand you.
You are a good person. Don't worry, we will help you.” When mom
and dad should really be saying, “I apologize for not teaching you
well. Since you are back at home with us, here is what you need to
learn or re-learn.”
Governing one's home in a way that
keeps foolishness out while teaching children right from wrong is not a
bad thing, so ignore voices that ignorantly say, “Oh, let kids be
kids.” Telling a child “No” shouldn't be a problem and if it
is then a parent needs to ask his or herself, “Why is this an issue
for me?” Then make some changes. But for some parents who grew up
with lack, they don't want to address the errors of their ways. They
also don't fully realize that going from a lifestyle of not having to
too much giving isn't going to make their children necessarily better
people in the long-run. There are many once spoiled children who
grow up to be selfish and the following happens to them as a result: divorced multiple times, in
and out of jail, homeless off and on, abusive, addicted to
substances, unemployed often, and more because they just don't
understand that people aren't going to bend over backwards for them
and that the majority of society dislikes greedy, selfish people.
