Unexpected Life Challenges, Know Where to Look for Help

Some Mothers Don't Like Other Mothers

As much as we might not want to admit this, but there are one or two individuals in our circles that simply have a problem with mothers.  Now the trouble-maker is a mother, someone who is a career mom or home-maker, shuffling children around here and there, cares for her babies, and does other motherly things, but she doesn't like motherhood much, other mothers, or even her own mother.  She is just getting by with all other negative emotions!  From childhood woes to a bad relationship that left her with nothing more than a child, she is sad, depressed, jealous, and going through whatever other emotion that keeps her from truly connecting with other mothers on a spiritual, emotional or physical level.

Angry that things didn't turn out the way she had hoped in her life, an emotionally, physically and spiritually bond, mom is often disappointed with no real means of escape.  In her mind, everyone else is the cause of this issue and that issue, but never her.  "If my mother was more like...if my children's father would have...if these mothers would do this..." she thinks.

The bitter mom has more drama than most and usually speaks quite negatively about her family.  She lies when she is around other mothers who appear to be much happier and settled in their lives.  The mom exaggerates her love for everyone as if someone is going to question her about her personal views, and she covers up her feelings with a plastic smile or fake laugh.  She fears being judged, warned, advised, or corrected when it comes to her parenting practices, so if she doesn't have to call, write or come around others she won't. 

For some of you reading this, you might be that mother who one day exposes, admonishes or dismisses the troubled woman in your group who keeps tension flying amongst others.  You might not intentionally mean to tell this mother the truth about herself or ugly ways, but then again who knows what God might use you to do.  Yet, somehow something you say or do is going to ruffle the angry mom's feathers and she is going to come back with some insulting retort, deep sigh, eye-rolls, or outburst.  You see, a mother who doesn't really like being a mother or enjoys the company of other mothers, doesn't take too kindly too practical advice no matter how nice you say it. 

Many mothers who have little time or patience with others are usually the ones who pop off, not only with those in their own families (like husbands, mother-in-laws, etc.), but with others outside the family network too.  She finds faults with most people to cover up her own.  "Oh how could she do that...what kind of mother would...?"  Meanwhile, she never bothers to look at the evil thoughts she wrestles with from one day to the next or her questionable parenting practices when it comes to raising her children while claiming to be "a Christian, a Believer, a good mom."  When challenged on her foolishness, she perfers to argue.  "I think it is alright for my son to play games that shoot bad guys...I think it is okay for my daughter to dress like Lady Gaga or Nicki Minaj...I see nothing wrong with saying bad words around my children, they will hear them anyway!" She reasons all is okay. "What about you...don't tell me anything! My children are fine!"

The mother, who doesn't like other mothers, enjoys being around select individuals, who like her, don't enjoy children much, but tolerate them.  She hopes to get a few good laughs about others' short-comings.  When she is weary of her children, she is all-too-ready to enlist a babysitter or two (even if they are not the best people for her children to be around) and welcomes anyone in her circle who can save her time and money by doing things for her kids. 

These selfish moms don't like generous moms, because they sometimes feel they have to help them even when they don't want to.  She thinks, "Oh, I wish she wouldn't buy my children anything, because I don't want to feel obligated to her...I don't know why she spends so much time with those kids, I wouldn't--they would get on my nerves."

For some it might be difficult to believe that there are such mothers in this world, but there are, and this is why sometimes you have that one in your group who just can't seem to get along with other mothers.  You might have a mom who is often jealous concerning other mothers.  She might be the one always at war about what this one and that one said to her. 

It is difficult for some moms to sit in the presence of others not having a clue as to how to love, care, nurture, or create an atmosphere that is in the best interest of their children.  Pride keeps some from getting the necessary help to come up higher when it comes to relating to other mothers.  Love of money and material things are more important than relationships so she doesn't much care about others unless they have what she has or can benefit her in some way. 

For the mother who doesn't like others like her, she doesn't want to face this personal truth.  She rather sweep it under the rug.  But if she has a faith, she might want to consider taking her issues to the Lord and ask him to put more love in her heart for family and fellow mothers and take away jealous and bitter feelings in Jesus name. 

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

5 Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen

I thought this might be an interesting read for parents looking to try some new ways of teaching their children during the New Year.  5 Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen

It's Here: Winter School Break!!

Well it has arrived in my neck of the woods!  Hope you moms got your plans in order.  Break will be gone before you know it as long as everyone understands what role they are to play.  I encourage you reader to take plenty of time-outs, don't try to do anything all at once, and avoid the phone and television when you are busy with the children.  The background noise can really add to your stress.  Some things that tend to help with the school break include:

1.  Prepare multiple lunches and dinner options in advance, so that you aren't cooking everyday.  (This way no one is bugging you about, "What are the children going to eat?")
2.  Setting a wake up, chill time, and a go to bed time. (Seriously, the children don't need to be up all night snacking and running through the house all hours of the day stressing everyone out.)
3.  Ask for additional hands to help with tedious tasks.  Give that older son or daughter or a couch potato adult tasks to aid you and others in the household.  If the family doesn't want to help out, well you can always make up some consequences like leaving the house for awhile, canceling gift-opening until further notice, or taking what you have bought back to the store.
4.  Make children put things away. (Far too many parents clean up after able-bodied children.)
5.  Set aside quiet time without electronic devices.  (Got some activity books, coloring books, workbooks, and worksheets?  Utilize this time to keep the children's minds fresh for school.  Video gaming all day does nothing more than cause a child to be programmed for whatever the game's objective is ie.) if the son or daughter plays primarily military games daily, well you just might have a future recruit blood-thirsty for war.
6.  Avoid spending most of the winter school break doing things like: time-consuming chores often, preparing home-made meals for hours, or scolding children and arguing with a partner or relatives.

These are just some of the things that might help make each day more productive, calmer and interesting.  The goal is to spend time with the children as best as you know how without losing it.  Pace yourself!

Some Children are Set Apart to Do Evil

Why would a parent ever permit someone or a group to abuse his or her child, why?  But there are those parents:  victims of unresolved abuse issues, desperate for selfish gain, or in need of something else that will do just that!  And then there are some that are simply unstable and the generational line is polluted with evil, curses and other dark things. 

Some parents knowingly and systematically create their children (or someone else's children) to do evil for a cause, a specific purpose, an agenda, or what some would deem an unholy calling--"Take one for the home team, my boy!" 

If you have a hard time believing what I have told you then you haven't been around many children of darkness.  I personally have witnessed evil in the eyes of many children, those who have and those who have not, they simply couldn't help acting that way because they were just spiritually, mentally, and physically broken. 

Consider the many movies that depict children being possessed by a devil.  Also, think about some of the court cases you have heard about whether in person or in the media where children have viciously attacked others. I recall a relative who beat up a teacher and then years later the sibling, who didn't live with the other sibling during some parts of her life, beat up another teacher.  There were many other events too numerous to count, but many of which resulted in watching a parent act abusively toward members of his household.  Think about past events that  happened in a local school, neighborhood or even in your own family and the suspects, children.

I felt burdened to remind some readers, who like to pity others while elevating their own children, that there are those in this world that would like nothing more than to manipulate the minds of your children through the following vices:  media programming that continues to brainwash you about the latest tragedies, video games that our little people love, television programs on and offline, books, posters, Cd's, and other things you and I have enjoyed buying our children simply because they want them and we didn't want to disappoint them. 

What's so wrong with a television character, an uncle who curses every five minutes, an angry teen, or a favorite best friend who just so happens to dress provocatively around your child?  Nothing to some nonchalant parents, absolutely nothing, because they walk with blinders on, zombies, who only know how to attack.  Some parents just can't see the evil hidden in plain sight.  Unless you choose to consciously take a good long look at the hand signals, symbols, patterns, colors, and other things you will miss the signs of pending evil.  Notice the odd sounds, voices, words, and more that continue to show up during cartoon and movie watching, various popular songs, or appear on some items that a child most covets, you never suspect that something so bright, colorful or cheery is bad for your child including girls.  You also wouldn't be able to see that evil relative, friend, or someone else who also puts up a smokescreen either.  "We are just playing...I didn't mean anything by what I said...That's harmless...There's nothing wrong with your child listening to a dancing whore, a creative magician, or a man dressed like a lady cursing--not at all--it's just entertainment!" 

Most likely, you aren't the parent verbally or physically abusing your child, but someone or a group is subtly working evil into your child's mind, and for some parents, your instinct knows who the devil workers are around you, but they continue to assure you with a nice smile, a pocket full of money, and lots of "I love you" statements that everything is okay.  Besides media, video games and toys, evil has a way of entering your intimate settings through child impacted by  a mean-spirited abused cousin, a rebellious schoolmate, an odd aunt, a strange grandmother, a stressed caretaker, or an angry parent, spend the time interviewing your children, hear what they have to say--that is unless you fear what you might find out, are ill-prepared for the truth, or are concerned you might lose your free time for yourself if the truth should come out.  Some parents rather look the other way then lose time for self away from the kids (ie. job, hobbies, travel, sexual conquests, etc.)

Let's take a long look at various events that have happened in our media both random and planned that seem to point the finger at things used to orchestrate the catalyst of events, rather than the real issues behind the scenes.  From gun control to mental illness, whenever shootings take place there is always an outcry about a thing involved.  Rarely do we get the full story on the characters.  Sure, some are crazy, but what about the evil group hidden behind crazy?  Instead, we're given a story that never truly answers the hard questions or does an in depth background investigation on the people involved.  Far too many viewers digest whatever the so-called reputable news media outlets dish out, but rarely do they perform their own research as to the who, what, when, where, why, and how.  So this leads me back to the topic of this entry, there is an evil that men and women do and put children up to doing their dirty work.  You and I would never suspect a privileged child or a bright young person to commit an evil act.  We would readily assume that the poor child or troubled young person just had a hard time in life or was mentally unstable--end of story.  But that is not the end, there is more, much more.

Look back, check out what stories become popular news, what movies become the highest grossing, what songs make the billboard charts, what music videos tell of a future event, and what message does your child's favorite show or character really share.  There are those children who hear, see, smell, touch, or taste something that sets them off to perform whatever task they are commanded or feel like they need to do, and when the opportune time comes, they strike.  We have all seen enough tragedies to know something just ain't right with some children and their parent(s).

Nicholl McGuire