Your Partner Thinks He is Your Daddy

Just when you thought you couldn't take much more, your partner acts controlling like your father.  He tells you where to go, what to do, what to buy, etc.  You look at this man like he is a fool.  "You got to be kidding, right?  Just because I call you Daddy sometimes didn't mean that you could start acting like him..."  Calling one's husband or boyfriend "Dad" or "Daddy" is a mistake of many fatherless women.  You don't ever call your husband/boyfriend a title that isn't an accurate portrayal of him especially if you don't want to be controlled by him.  One gives her mate unspeakable power and control like that of a parent.  He subconsciously thinks he can mold and shape his wife like a child and treat her like the children--even teens will eventually rebel against this sort of thing with their own parents.

So here this man stands before you (or maybe someone you know) breathing like he is about to expel fire from his nose with eyes almost demonic like.  He shouts you down, threatens, or even calls you a name or two.  The children either witness the commotion or in the next room they are oblivious to what is happening.  Something on the inside arises in you and every negative emotion that you had for your own father comes flowing like a river.

In the book by Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books, she has created a thought-provoking guide to getting free from the emotional ties that bind daughters and sons to controlling fathers, emotionally unavailable Dads, and others. 

When one repeatedly argues with his or her mate in ways that trigger negative childhood memories, something happens during various stages of life that reminds us, "You have issues."  In Nicholl's work, the challenges are how we deal or don't deal with difficult fathers and other toxic men in our lives and how to break free emotionally, spiritually and more.  So when you are ready to sever toxic ties, Nicholl's book, Say Goodbye to Dad is here to help.

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire Excerpt Chapter 9

Mothers and Stepmothers - Competition is None

What is the use talking badly about the mother of children regardless of her title?  Why bother to tell everyone how much money you spend, what you bought for the kids, and everything else to make your Facebook page look important?  Yet some mothers and stepmothers are guilty of this!  Outsiders looking in, especially the childfree, see that mother and stepmother are doing the best they can, but they can also see when one or both are acting evilly.

Move the egos out the way competitive women!  Allow those mothers (grandmothers, step-mothers, play mothers, god mothers, mother-in-laws, etc.) in your life some breathing room.  The problem with school breaks, major and minor holidays as well as other child related activities is that competitive, insecure women don't know when to stand down primarily because the men in their lives aren't speaking up.  So the mother from the original family gets an upper hand or is forgot about, treated poorly, etc. (depending on the situation) while the stepmother turns controlling or is frequently disrespected, because the heads of households or supposedly the heads (fathers) are not handling their business right from the start!

A child should never feel like he or she can't talk to their biological mother and a stepmother shouldn't be made to feel like she is being used.  But all too often this happens, because men, seeking substitutes for children, sell the new women in their lives a bag of false gold.  Before long, the biological mother is wondering, "What the h*ll is going on?"  Those women who are proactive in the lives of their children will not always play nicely or fairly.  There will be moments where these moms will stand on their soapboxes and express their feelings and so will other mother figures.  "Playing nicely ladies..." just won't cut it coming from the well-wishers.

Far too often, women let lazy, controlling, or downright ignorant men get away with much and then when the going gets tough, the guilty parties remove themselves from all circles of confusion that could have been prevented.  Instead of Dad picking up and dropping off children, he is allowing the stepmother, who is already insecure, to show up at the doorstep of his former partner.  Rather than Dad reaching an understanding with the mothers in his life when it comes to children, he pits them against one another by talking negatively about each.

Wake up women and don't let these devious men come between you, your children and grandchildren!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad.

Chirbit - audio excerpt from When Mothers Cry by Nicholl McGuire

Chirbit - Building New Friendships excerpt from When... - nichollmcguire - share audio easily

If you are interested in book, purchase from my page click here:  https://www.createspace.com/3393499

Competitive Mothers - Why Do They Think They Need to Prove Anything?

She tells you about everything she is into, shares about her children's achievements almost daily (especially on Facebook), mentions "what you ought to or should do" if she feels the least bit worried you are doing better than her.  You realize the competitive Mom is competing with you, because for every one statement you make, she has three or four that sounds better than yours or worst depending on how she thinks.

Some mothers don't realize they are not making friends when they act in boastful ways.  They don't bother to think how they make others feel when they dominate conversations talking about all they and children do.  It isn't any wonder that most of their friendships come to a swift end.

When I first came across some competitive mothers, I didn't have any children at the time, so I couldn't relate to conversations where mother talks about what she has, where she has been and what her children are up to, etc. a mile a minute.  But what I did hear in those boring conversations (for a young person back then) were jealous, insecure women who felt that they had to prove that they were "good," "better," "know better," etc.  They were oftentimes jealous of others especially those of us (in the past) who had no children and was able to do much with our free time.  At times these women were insecure, because their husbands hadn't validated them in years, so along comes attractive 20 something year olds and now they feel they had to teach  the young people a thing or two.  Now this was decades ago for me, but I remember those times. 

Presently with four children of my own, married, and living each day like it's the last one, I have little patience for the braggarts.  We might have parallel lives, but I'm not interested in playing a competitive game of who has it worst or who has it best.  Can we just talk?

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, Say Goodbye to Dad, and other books.

Dysfunctional Parents and Challenging Children - Nicholl McGuire Media, Spreaker

Parents Putting Personal Fears on Their Children - Blocking God's Will

Are you the worried or fearful parent who keeps their child or children from doing what he or she wants like attending a college far away, marriage, relocation, etc.?

Click here to listen:  Vocaroo Voice Message

Too Much Noise, Movement - Be Quiet, Still

Sometimes one has to sit down and just be in the moment.  This means there is no blaring TV on, no headphones on ears, the cell phone is off, spouse and children are either asleep or outdoors.  Moments of peace brings solutions to problems, helps with healing, and brings some sanity to a troubled mind.

I have done this and I can tell you it works wonders!  I didn't make excuses, fault-find or worry how I was going to get the time to be one with myself and my Lord, I just did it!  Rather than fill that quiet time with chores and draining phone calls, try sitting down and being quiet.

The noise of people and things can be overwhelming.  Some sounds are just far too loud especially if you are going through your menstrual cycle.  It isn't necessary that children have to play with every loud toy or have games on without headphones.  Take control of the noise and the movement sometimes in your home, and you just might get some of those quiet activities you have been putting off for quite sometime complete like praying for starters while waiting for your heavenly Father's answers.

Nicholl McGuire author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic and other books.
 

Dealing with Sudden Death or the Loss of a Child

How to deal with emotional blackmail/guilt from relatives, friends over the holidays

I Am Codependent - Are You the Screaming Wife/Mother? Understand Your Programming

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire Excerpt Chapter 6 "She Knows Best"