Wednesday

Arguments: You Cried Again Over What He Said, He Did

Being a mother is challenging, but being a mother with children and a partner/husband can take its toll to the point that you are lying on your back in a hospital bed wondering, "What just happened...why am I here?  When will I stop letting that man get the best of me!?"

I have witnessed some of the most content mothers and grandmothers without men.  Let me repeat, without men.  They rather be alone then to cry over yet another man who simply refuses to do right by his family.  One mother of six shared with me, "I have been hurt by men so much that I would be afraid to be with one now, I just might kill him...I wouldn't want him around my kids either...he just might not love them, and then that's when I would have to hurt him."  This is a woman who truly knows herself.  But far too many women choose to focus on what they hope to become rather than what they now are.  If you have little patience, time, or need for a man, why bother?  Why bring him around your children?  Why settle for someone who has a proven record of selfishness and isn't into his own children much less anyone else's? 

Picture this, you are in the kitchen preparing a meal and notice your partner/husband's cell phone flash on the table near you and there it is, a message on the screen that you and I both know isn't a typical work sounding message.  In a moment, just like that, your stomach churns, you stop cooking, and now someone has some explaining to do.  After repeated arguments, you find out far more than you wanted to know and now you are crying.

With so much temptation on the Internet, it isn't any wonder that so many couples end up in divorce court.  Imagine this, you are minding your own business on the Internet and decide to look up something you saw yesterday, yet instead of finding what you viewed in Internet history, you see that your partner is up to no good.  Now your head hurts, your heart aches, and you are surfing for an attorney online with tears in your eyes.  Enough is enough!

From a partner loving everyone else but you to parenting blues when it comes to raising children, what more are you doing these days besides crying?

The father of your children curses, lies, makes false promises, covers up his Internet activity, pretends to care for you in public (so that men including his friends won't think twice), stares at other women, talks about you to other women (including mom), and claims that he believes in a Creator...yet the writing on the wall says, "This is it. Stop crying.  Your struggle is no more."

The yelling, name-calling, throwing things, and crying does nothing!  It only upsets you and creates further distance in your relationship.  Children become worried that one day something or someone is going to get hurt, walk away, or they are going to miss out on a favorite toy or pet as a result of mom and dad not getting along.

One can cry, she can complain, but once the fuss is over, you have to ask yourself, "What do I want?  It is obvious that the man isn't going to change, so what should I be doing?"  Here is a list to help get you started:

1.  Save money, spend less.

2.  Maintain or get better employment.

3.  Sell what you have to get what you want.

4.  Live where you want to live.

5.  Take up a hobby that builds up your self-confidence and uplifts you spiritually.

6.  Pray, fast and read words of wisdom.

7.  Connect with successful women who are at peace with their life decisions with or without a man.

If you believe in a Creator, then you must know that you can't hear from Him when you are yelling and you can't see him when your eyes are blinded with tears.

Nicholl McGuire is a blogger, author and YouTuber, listen to inspirational and convicting messages at http://www.youtube.com/nmenterprise7 

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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