An Awakened Mother with No Fear of the What Ifs

I admit for years I walked around with my eyes closed to a lot of things especially when it came to intimate relationships, but when it came to care-taking issues related to my children not so much.  I saw things that I didn't like when others would handle or communicate with my children.  But if  I thought my speaking up would have threatened my role in my children's lives (especially when it came to their fathers), I went along with the flow often silently.  Like an itch that I couldn't reach or medicate, I just tolerated some things because I felt at times powerless to say or do anything--that is until I got wise.  As I prayed more, the "what ifs" in my mind began to fall away.  "What if this happened...what if he did...what if the children..."  So what, what if?  What if I had a nervous breakdown and didn't come back around to enjoy the company of my children because of all the stress and worry about the future?   

Prior to my spiritual moments with my Creator, I reasoned negative moments away and quite simply talked myself into choosing to look on the brighter side (especially when it came to relatives, in-laws, and other children-related problems).  Yet, when some issues are in your face, more than others, you can't keep looking away and telling yourself, "Things will get better I know it, so I am just going to sit back and be quiet--be a good mother that makes her children top priority end of discussion."  However, when family, money, business, spirituality, education, and a myriad of other challenges arise while time, money, and patience are short, sometimes you have to just stand--speak up when faced with an adversary, point out what's wrong and why you feel the way you do.  No matter how much this person or group labels you "crazy," "zealous," "strange," "bitter," "jealous," etc.  Name-calling is nothing more than an attempt to slow your momentum, to cause you to retreat, and give the enemy more power over your mind.

Opportunities to be open and honest about what you see and feel, Mother, will come again and again until you do something!  Consider the following examples, Dad insists that exposing children to evil acts is okay while you refuse to compromise.  Mother-in-law attempts to systematically brainwash your family against you in an effort to further dominate her son, so you expose her teachings.  An educator oftens singles out your child because he or she has had problems with him or her in the past; therefore you need to confront him or her.  From the way someone cares for your child to what a relative communicates to him or her, convincing yourself, "It isn't so bad...Well other people go through the same...And I know he/she means well..." is not going to keep the peace in your mind or spirit forever and always.  Some moms will just continue to keep fighting with their personal thoughts, feelings, and the imagined consequences that they believe others might put on them before lashing out on any and everyone one day.  Some mothers will go so far as to physically fight with someone in an effort to be heard.  But by then, it just might be too late.

Don't be like a teapot and let family pressure build up until you explode; rather, let those around you know gradually and boldly that when it comes to yourself, children and anything else that your eyes are wide open and  there is nothing they can say or do to convince you otherwise.  Be prepared to do what you must.  What sense does it make to carry a headache, heartache or some other pain around with you day after day because you worry or fear a certain outcome?  If you are very concerned about how a person might react to you, record your conversation, have a witness, or seek a third party to mediate the situation.

Nicholl McGuire