When The Problem Isn't the Parent...

Those times will happen when you just can't seem to understand why your child consistently gets in trouble over some issue, has frequent accidents, and seems to have a problem with certain members in his or her class.  Now I'm not that naive parent who believes my children are angels all of the time.  I do realize that they will have their bad days.  But sometimes, it isn't their fault.  As a parent, you have to go through a process of elimination in order to get down to the root cause of frequent abnormal behaviors.

When your child is suddenly getting into trouble, consider what is going on at home, but also think about what might be happening in school.  Interview your children on what is going on at school.  Question the daily routine they follow and ask about new rules and programs.  Find out where they are seated in the classroom.  Learn names of friends and listen intently when they complain about certain students.  Make time to talk with your child's teacher, school nurse (if necessary) and/or principal.

I had an issue not that long ago where a little girl was upset with my son because he proved her wrong about an issue.  She believed that boys couldn't sing, so he sang a song and made her look silly.  Rather than just take it like a girl--lol, she hit him.  Well needless to say, she got her sassy self in trouble.  I later found out that my son was seated at a table with all girls and apparently she didn't want him to be there.  Unfortunately, this new seating arrangement made him a target because he was the odd ball at the table.  The teacher simply adjusted the seating and put him at a table that is more balanced between girls and boys, problem solved.

Another issue occurred when he repeatedly came home with wet trousers, when I inquired about this.  I found out that the bathroom was usually left in bad condition.  Therefore, he didn't feel comfortable going inside, he rather wet himself.  With a little spruce up, the bathroom was inviting; therefore my son has been utilizing the bathroom ever since.

Sometimes we can take on too many issues as parents and say, "Well if I would do this more...maybe if I would try this..."  We have to realize that it isn't always about us and it isn't always about the teacher either.  At times, problems with our children can stem from a new way of doing things in the school, a new teacher, classmate, or atmosphere.  Look at everything that might be causing problems with your child before putting unnecessary burdens on yourself!

Nicholl McGuire