When They Aren't Your Children...

Some of us have grieved a child we either lost due to death, legal battle or some other way and it hurts!  We may welcome other people's children into our lives or stay clear away.  Only God knows the pain we feel!  It hurts sometimes to see someone with their children and here you are all alone with maybe a picture or two in a wallet or cell phone of your own child.  Sometimes you wonder how did you get to this place in your life that you are more important these days then raising your child, but it is your current reality, and how you deal with being away from your child or children is all up to you.

I am that woman that has been with children at home on a daily basis and then eventually had to say goodbye for a number of reasons sometimes for a short period of time and other times longer.  After I managed to get comfortable in my lifestyle, I allowed other people's children to come into my life until the time was convenient again to see my own children. 

It can be such a relief to your soul to talk to a child or do something nice for her or him that brings a smile on his or her face.  But I won't say that it doesn't hurt sometimes.  I think of how my sons might react to that nice toy I bought someone else's child and then I may feel guilty or get angry that my own children aren't with me.  I am learning slowly that instead of thinking of someone else's child as a replacement; it is better to just look at the time you are spending in the presence of other people's children as a gift of service similar to what you would do if you were doing volunteer work.  No one can ever replace your child and no one is asking you to either.  The beauty in spending time with someone else's child is you can give what doesn't belong to you back and never worry over the child like you do your own.

Every mother needs that time to recharge.  She needs to look back at the time she had been spending with her own children and learn from it.  There is so much we can do with free time that suddenly comes out of no where.  Oftentimes we covet it when we are around our children.  We wish that we could be that woman who doesn't have to tote children around.  We think of those moments of peace she has just to do something simple like try a new hairstyle or paint her fingernails.  Now it's our turn and we might as well make the most of it until that day we meet our children again.

Nicholl McGuire