Keeping It Inside Will Drive You Crazy

I have been asked this question over different times in my life, "How could you leave your children with their fathers?"  Whether I left my children to go to the store, vacation, work, or during a break up.  My answer to that, "Why not?  He is the father you know and besides he takes good care of them."

I don't care whether a mother is leaving her children an hour or five years, there is a good reason why she needs to leave.  I think too many of us are quick to condemn, but far too slow to show some support (no wonder why some women can't keep friends, but I digress.) 

You see, sometimes we have to take a good look at what exactly does the title "mother" mean to me?  For some women, they are step-mothers, mothers-to-be, and mother-in-laws and they aren't too happy about those titles.  They know what they can and can't tolerate.  Sometimes we think that by saying, "You are a good mom" or "What you are going through isn't as bad as what I went through..." is encouraging, but that isn't always the case.  It is because of statements like this, that some women freeze up and choose not to reveal how they sincerely feel about motherhood.  They may have wanted to pour out their heart and cry a good cry to a relative or friend, but because of a certain comment, question, or expression they clam up and instead out comes, "Thanks, I try to be a good mom."

Keeping anything inside that is plaguing your mind on a daily basis will hurt you.  Let me repeat that, keeping anything inside that is plaguing your mind on a daily basis will hurt you.  Ever wonder why some women end up in the insane asylum?  Maybe the idea of staying-at-home with children isn't working anymore.  Maybe the relationship with the father has taken a downturn and there is no hope for the relationship.  Maybe you desire to come up higher spiritually, but routine is keeping you stagnant.  Whatever the "it" is that keeps coming back to the forefront of your mind and making you feel like you are going crazy, do something about it!

I think of so many moms who just settle with "whatever," because it looks good on the outside.  It looks nice to have a man in the home.  It looks good to wear the latest fashions.  It looks good to put the children in private school.  It looks good to participate in all the church and school activities.  It looks good to say, "My child is doing this...my child is doing that..."  But behind closed doors, you are going crazy!  People who are close to moms who want to look their best, although they are going through a test, see the signs, but mom knows best.  Didn't mean to rhyme, but you get my point?  Stressed mom is gaining weight, popping pills, getting up early and staying up late.  She is easily irritated, yelling at everyone, and frequently making errors.  The frazzled mom is blaming everyone for everything, but her overwhelmed self!  In time, that woman who once "was a joy to work with" is now a pain in the you know what!  When you ask her, "How are you?"  She either says, "I'm fine..." or "stressed."  But she keeps going anyway.

When we know someone who is driving herself crazy with all her activities or if we are guilty of driving our own selves insane, then we must learn to take that pause.  Sometimes that pause may mean going back to the drawing board and reinventing the wheel or getting rid of it altogether.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of When Mothers Cry, Amazon.com