In Remembrance of New Mothers…

No one knows a mother like another mother; however, there is very little empathy given from the “know-it-all” type of mother. The one who thinks she has motherhood figured all out, when behind closed doors she suffers like the rest of us.

Comments like “why would she do that to her children” and “I would never do that to mine” fall quickly from mother’s lips when they don’t bother to understand, nor reach out to help their sister in need.

From mental illness to poverty, young, old and new mothers everywhere try to make sense of their relationships with loved ones, financial issues, and other challenges while trying to appear as if they are really happy with their lives to avoid public scrutiny.

A decision to give her cheating husband just one more chance, because he is the baby’s father only to find out he has cheated yet again has contributed to many mothers losing it! The idea that he has abused her trust yet again can be too much for any woman’s mindset.

Sometimes you have to stop and think about that woman passing you by with her whining children in tote. Does she have a man in her life who has done something to her that affected her mental well-being why she suddenly snaps out on her child, throws him in the car seat and speeds out the parking lot like a raging bull?

After carrying a child for nine months, some new mothers find out that their husbands aren't interested in being fathers --just one more thing to add to the symptoms new mothers feel during postpartum depression. Then there is the menopausal mother over 40 with 20 plus years of marriage behind her who finds out that her once loving mate is no longer interested in her or the children, because he is having a midlife crisis of his own.

These situations are real and they can send any woman over the edge. If you have ever wondered why the children end up drowned in the bathtub, left in a garbage dump, or dropped off at someone’s doorstep, consider this, the mother’s mind has retired, it's no longer in service.

She didn’t just check out the day the children were crying and fighting too much. She exhibited signs of losing control way before she did something to her children. Check her paper trail. She was mentally drained from her unhappy life when she called her friend sobbing uncontrollably.

She complained that her children’s father was never home. Her anger was brewing when she tried to get someone to watch her children, but her husband used manipulative tactics to make her feel guilty about leaving the house to get a job, go to church, take some time for herself, or go out with her friends.

So is abusing or murdering a child an excuse for a mother burdened by life? Of course not! However, when organizations tell women not to murder their unborn child, these same organizations are not their on the postpartum depression floors of every hospital in America. They are not escorting these women home and assisting them around the house for a week or more until the blues passes.

There are challenges awaiting at home when the new mother leaves the hospital: a disgruntled husband or boyfriend, an elderly relative who can’t handle baby cries, more children, an unclean home, and unpaid bills, are all issues that a new mother is still expected to handle while being bent over from a C-section operation or struggling from a vaginal delivery.

My sisters, where is the refrigerator magnet with the 1800# included with her free diaper bag that says, “Call us when you are feeling like you want to hurt your child?” It would be nice to see a pretty colored envelope with a letter inside stating, “We understand the crying at times will get on your nerves, call us and we will get someone to come to your home right away!”

So consider all of these things the next time you see a new mother walking by you with her belly stuck out ready to deliver any day now, or being pushed in a wheelchair with a new baby in her arms...please say a prayer for her, she will need it!

Written by Nicholl McGuire

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Over 20 years office work experience, six years completed college coursework, background in print media and communications, recognized for exceptional attendance and received merit increase for past job performance, self-published author and part-time entrepreneur, Internet marketing and social media experience. Interned for non-profit organization, women's group and community service business. Additional experience: teaching/training others, customer service and sales. Learn more at Nicholl McGuire and Nicholl McGuire Media

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