Show Support to Mothers Who Love or Dislike Their Roles

Whether a mother is content or discontent with being a mother, show support either way!  When women are prideful like putting one another down because they feel negative about their roles, you have to wonder why do they act so coldly toward women who are already feeling down about motherhood? 

Not every mother is equipped mentally or physically to handle children prior, during or after birth.  Sometimes women don't have a clue just how challenging it can be caring for children until they have to deal with the reality that their own are here to stay and oftentimes there is no immediate assistance when times are rough.  The children want...need....cry...pout...complain...fight...etc. and you have to be everything to them especially when you don't have enough money to pay someone to help you or a partner who is available to assist. 

This is why one shouldn't be so quick to say things like, "I never...I wouldn't...I always...I love mine very much..."  You never know the day when you will be challenged on your personal beliefs, lose your mind due to a shocking event with a child, or end it up saying goodbye to a marriage, job, baby, or something else you might treasure. 

What many women who have suffered great losses will not admit to is how judgmental and arrogant some were prior to their life disappointments.  How they spoke highly of themselves while putting down others--what a humbling experience when one looks up one day and realizes that after making so many sacrifices to be the best parent possible to a child, one's son or daughter isn't the least bit concerned about the prideful mother's needs or worse isn't around due to a variety of issues.  But conceited mom will never tell her family or friends just how hurt she feels, because she remembers when she stood up straight and tall and talked much about herself and how wonderful a parent she was. 

We all reap what we have sown sooner or later.  Avoid the temptation to put down other mothers, because you never know when you might be that one on the news, in the jail, standing in the welfare line, divorced, mistreated by one's child, and more!  Opinion pieces like the following is why I created this blog years ago.  Read for yourself  Should we sympathize with discontented mothers?

Nicholl McGuire

Your Children are Going to Get Bored During Winter Break - Got Plans?

Your Children are Going to Get Bored During Winter Break - Got Plans?

Sometimes, Pregnancy Is Rubbish. And That’s OK

There’s a prevailing myth that we’re supposed to ‘bloom’ when we’re pregnant. Ripe with the joys of the life growing inside us, we pregnant ladies waft through the world, trailing a warm glow of love as we go. Our skin shall be radiant, our hair shall gleam, and our bodies shall revel in their proven fecundity. Of course, we shall have the odd minor moment of discomfort as the due date approaches, and sometimes our hormones may get a little uppity, but in the main we shall be glorious beacons of maternal femininity.

As many of us know, the reality of pregnancy is often quite, quite different. How can pregnancy make you feel utterly horrible? Let us count the ways…

• Morning sickness. Ugh. Doubly ugh as it often occurs early in pregnancy, so you have to cope with it while working and trying to conduct your life as normal.
• Swollen ankles.
• Swollen everything else.
• Mood swings. One moment you’re sobbing with love at a puppy on the television, the next you’re threatening to eviscerate your partner because they breathed in an irritating manner.
• The sheer, sometimes agonizing impracticality that is a vertical biped hauling a small human around in its belly. Humans are very poorly designed indeed when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth.
• Braxton Hicks. A cruel, cruel trick.
• The perpetual worries about the birth, the baby, and everything in between and beyond.
• Backache. Often permanent.
• Sore breasts.
• Sore everything.
• Insomnia.
• Fatigue.
• And much, much too much more.

The reality is that, far from being the magical experience that we are often expected to have, pregnancy can be hellish. This is particularly true for those with mental health problems, especially if those problems are related to body image. The huge changes one’s body goes through at pregnancy can cause some very serious issues for these people, potentially making both mother and child very ill indeed. But even when we’re otherwise pretty healthy, pregnancy is frequently not the joy we’re supposed to believe that it is. So, if you’re pregnant, and feeling pretty rubbish, don’t worry. Don’t feel guilty, don’t feel like you’re in some way deficient, or unfeminine, or letting your child down by not enjoying your pregnancy. You’re not. What you’re experiencing is perfectly natural. What is unnatural is this bizarre insistence on pretending that pregnancy is all smiles and rainbows and that elusive ‘glow’. Don't fall for it, and don't get guilt about how you feel!

Child Molestation - Gymnast Coaches

You don't suspect that the person (or group) you are dropping your child off with might be a pedophile.  However, with so many stories of sexual abuse at schools, you should be guarded about those local community businesses that offer music lessons, sports, churches, daycares, afterschool programs and more as well.  These are breeding grounds for sick, twisted criminals! 

Recently, a story broke about 100 plus gymnast coaches molesting over 300 plus children in the past 20 years!!  Just imagine the trauma these children faced--day after day stressed and the parents didn't have a clue until they mustered up enough courage to say something.  There could be plenty more cases of abuse out there but because these evil adults used all sorts of manipulative measures to keep children quiet, we will never know. 

Just think for a moment a trusted coach tells a child, "You want to go to the Olympics, right?  Well don't tell..."  Teach your children to stand up, fight, and speak up when adults are saying and doing inappropriate things whether they are happening to them or someone else.  Tell them about every lie imaginable an adult might come up with to keep them silent. 

See the latest article: In the Past 20 Years, 368 Child Gymnasts Have Come Forward With Allegations of Sexual Abuse   

Nicholl McGuire

When the Children Talk Too Much

When you have more than one child it can be overwhelming having children in your ears talking about all sorts of things.  You try to be patient, listen, and provide feedback, but on some days all the talking can really push your buttons!  Throw in conversation over the phone with relatives, while children hang around, interrupt or need your attention yet again for something and before long you might feel a headache coming on!

The other day I got hit with three different stories all at once coming from a teen and two elementary school-aged children.  My sons were all excited about a myriad of school-related topics.  So I found myself having to quiet two while one spoke and then repeat the action over and over again until I sent everyone to their rooms (sigh).

As parents we are grateful for our children and do much for them, but on some days our heads are spinning, responsibilities can be burdensome, and before long you can't even hear the sound of your own voice in your head.  "Now what was I supposed to do again?"

Keeping children mum about personal issues sometimes can be a bit stressful especially when some adults around the kids tend to act a bit too friendly.  Taking the time to have a long talk with children about what is appropriate to say and not to say helps, but it doesn't guarantee that they will keep some topics to themselves.  Unfortunately, there are consequences when children's mouths run faster than their feet.  Nothing wrong with telling children to walk or run away and play with toys when adults are starting to ask questions that make them feel uncomfortable and you too!

Holiday events are filled with many activities and with that comes a lot of communicating between family and friends.  If there is much going on within  your family and you are concerned about some things your children may or may not say, then reconsider leaving them alone with people or even attending an event.  Sometimes parents put far too much pressure on children to keep their mouths shut about things when deep within they really want to talk.

I was one of those children who was always cautioned to keep quiet about all kinds of stuff even when I didn't feel like "personal business" the adults said and did around me wasn't that important.  I would talk not realizing I was bribed at times by busybody kinfolk.  They treated me quite nicely and I received my share of good gifts not so much because they loved me, but because some family members were able to get the information they wanted out of me.  As a child I didn't understand why a few adults were so interested in members of my household.  Many years later I learned they were a jealous bunch, who wanted certain material items from successful relatives, and didn't appreciate my family being so secretive.  So what better way than to sock it to someone you don't like much, get to their children and find out stuff about them then use it against them later.  That was how I was used as a pawn in their manipulative games. Check out Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

Keep in mind children don't think like adults.  They are typically very trusting, don't mean to hurt their parents, grandparents, and other members of the family by talking, and really don't want to get into any trouble.

Whatever you do, don't stress them out with all the keep quiet kind of talk, back off a bit and as I mentioned before if you are a private person and worry about what your extended relatives might learn about what goes in your household, then maybe it might be best to stay home this holiday season or keep the children ignorant about what you don't want getting out like how much you paid for something, where you went shopping, what you bought someone else, and more.  The less children know about your "personal business," the better!

Nicholl McGuire Blog Owner and Author of Should I Go to the Party?