On Acting Like Your Difficult Mother - No Wonder the Children Act Like They Do

The things you don't want to see in your children show up and show out.  Your children act a lot like you when you were younger, don't they? 

Your children might have inherited certain personality traits from you or other relatives that you don't like or want to talk about with others for fear that what they say and do will reveal a lot about you. 

Why get angry act them for the same things you are guilty of, demand respect when you aren't one for being kind or loving to others, or talk ugly about their ways to kinfolk when you know what you do with others?  Upon closer inspection, one can see how you behave with parents and/or grandparents.  Maybe the way you have acted over the years is not as bad, but there are some commonalities.  Take for instance when you get angry at your child, did your parent act like that too?  What about when you expect your children to act in certain ways with you, did your mother want the same? 

As much as we might think we don't act like or as bad as a parent, at times we do.  Sometimes the pain of the past, undiagnosed personality disorders, generational health woes and curses, and more play a part in the present, because we continue to aid dysfunctional behaviors. 

Take a look at Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, are you acting a lot like a difficult mother?  What might your relationship with your children look like 10, 15 or even 20 years from now?  If it is in your power to stop a potential cycle of mental manipulation, power and/or control, do it now, before it's too late.

Tell Me Mother You're Sorry by Nicholl McGuire

School Year Blues - Don't Worry, Pick Your Battles

The school year is just too long to be worried about the little things.  We jump to conclusions sometimes when teachers talk to our children about their faults.  We assume the worst if they should participate in an activity or accept an invite that is out the norm.  We are parents with stresses that are sometimes induced because we don't know what else to do or think.  When situations are beyond our control, it is very tempting to lose control, but don't!

With four sons, I have learned that everything they say and do or what is said or done to them doesn't need my involvement.  Some things they have to solve for themselves especially homework.  I sometimes think, "If I wasn't around, what would they do?"  Check the Internet, call a friend, ask a relative, etc. 

Challenges make our children stronger, but sometimes we want to shield them from the pain only to cause ourselves blues.  Meanwhile, they look at us like, "What is so serious...Why is mom acting like that...I thought she taught us to..."  We can easily lose our children's respect and trust when we are over-the-top about every little thing.  Instead, they start to think we are crazy.  In time, they begin to distance themselves from crae- crae (slang term means crazy).

So with the start of a new school year, you might as well be prepared for the highs and lows and take them all in stride.  Even if the worst possible scenario does take place (but we pray it doesn't) at least we know that our children are survivors!  They will overcome! We did!

Pick your battles, my sisters, because if you don't you just might not be around to help your children by the time they graduate college.  Think about it.

Nicholl McGuire

You are not the Favorite Child - No Favor - Adultery, Prostitution - Eze...

Pray for Your Children - Canton Jones - Mother's Prayer/Hallelujah

Expectant - Mom Know What is Ahead

The best thing a new mother can do for herself is be in the know when it comes to motherhood challenges.  This was one of many reasons why I penned When Mothers Cry.  I wanted women as well as their partners to fully understand that there is more than just caring for self and children when it comes to motherhood.  Being a mother has many different dynamics and they all aren't so "great, wonderful and special."

When you know that you are personally or professionally going through much as it relates to your pregnancy, don't be fearful of speaking up or worried about your job title.  You have a lot to be concerned about and that is bringing a healthy baby into this world.

Partners, family, friends, employers and more will frustrate you at times especially when you react to them in off-putting ways due to raging hormones.  Don't worry about saying, "I'm hungry...I need food.  I want to be left alone right now.  I don't feel like or want to do anything but relax.  I am not my best today, so I will need to take the day off...get off the phone." 

Whether a person understands or not is irrelevant, if you don't look out for you, who will?

Nicholl McGuire
Get When Mothers Cry a nonfiction guide on those not-so nice things that come with being a mom.